This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. The user shares personal experiences with trauma and detransition, expresses nuanced opinions common in the community, and engages in empathetic advice. There are no obvious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The passion and criticism align with genuine user perspectives in this space.
About me
I started exploring the idea I was a trans man as a teenager after a sexual assault, because it felt like an answer to my depression and low self-esteem. I took testosterone for a while, but it kept me from dealing with my real trauma. I realized my discomfort wasn't with being female, but with the pain I hadn't processed. Now, I am focused on healing and am comfortable living as a woman. I don't regret my journey, but I wish I had gotten therapy for my trauma instead.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was really struggling with my mental health and had gone through a sexual assault, which I think was a huge part of it. I also had really low self-esteem and depression. When I found communities online talking about being trans, it felt like an answer. I latched onto the idea that I was meant to be a boy. It wasn't that I had felt this way since childhood; it was more that I was using the idea of being a different gender to cope with my trauma. For a little while, believing I was a trans man made me feel better, like I had found a solution to all my problems. But looking back, I wasn't actually happy. I was just escaping from dealing with the real issues.
I ended up socially transitioning and taking testosterone for a while. I remember being frustrated with how easy it seemed for people to get hormones, like it was being suggested to everyone without enough thought. I worried about the serious side effects. Eventually, I realised that blaming my body and my being female for all my problems was stopping me from actually healing. Transitioning was like a band-aid that kept me from addressing the root causes of my pain, which were the trauma, depression, and low self-esteem.
I don't really think about gender the same way anymore. I believe that for me, and maybe for a lot of others, the feeling of being "in the wrong body" can come from other places, like internalised homophobia or discomfort with puberty, or in my case, trauma. I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to where I am now, but I do regret not getting the right kind of help first. I think I would have benefited from therapy that explored why I felt so uncomfortable with myself, instead of just affirming that I was trans.
Now, I see that my sex is female, and that's okay. I don't need to identify as anything else to be whole. It's frustrating when people, especially some trans activists, say that detransitioners like me were never really trans or that our experiences don't count. We're just sharing what happened to us, and it's real. It feels like they see us as a threat to their ideology. I also think some people are so scared of being on the "wrong side of history," like when being gay was persecuted, that they push transition as the only solution for anyone who is questioning.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Struggled with depression, low self-esteem, and trauma after a sexual assault. Started exploring transgender identities online. |
| 17 | Socially transitioned, began identifying as a trans man. Felt temporary relief, using it as a coping mechanism. |
| 18 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 20 | Stopped testosterone. Realised my gender dysphoria was linked to trauma, not an innate identity. Began the process of detransition. |
| Present | Living as female. Focused on addressing the underlying mental health issues that led me to transition. |
Top Comments by /u/aquaemi:
I don’t think that’s something we can just tell from a few photos.
Also I thought I was happier once I realised I was a trans man, but I wasn’t. It was something I was using to cope with trauma (sa) temporarily it felt good but looking back I wasn’t happy at all.
I think a lot of people are scared of making the same mistake as the past , when being gay was illegal and punishable by death in many places (I know it’s the case in some places still).
They want to be on the “right side of history” whatever that means.
I think there’s a type of trans person who feels extreme threatened by this sub.
Maybe because they know deep down their trans identity is actually routed in ideology and the existence of detrans people directly confronts that. Or maybe they relate to what we say but aren’t ready to acknowledge a different reason for their gender dysphoria.
So they come up with lies about us, that we are all right wing liars and bigots, but we’re literally just talking about our own experiences.
I understand where you are coming from but personally I think the good thing about most detrans / desisted people is that you have figured out that being a different gender wasn’t the issue. Like I found it pretty easy to blame the problems I had on the fact I was meant to be a boy, but this wasn’t true. While using this as a reason I could never actually begin to address the real problems I had.
If you are actually trans but detransition to fit in (depending circumstances this might be someone’s best or safest option and some people do learn to live with gender dysphoria without transitioning) then I think what your saying makes more sense.
How has it gone from, “if you have had gender dysphoria since you were a child you might be trans so you should consider transitioning” to “if you have thought about transitioning for 7 minutes you should fucking do it”.
I just feel like real trans people wouldn’t suggest this kind of stuff.
Yes, I don’t think it matters how many surgery’s or what your voice sounds like or how long you were on hormones. I think it’s a very conservative thing to consider someone as not being fully a woman or man because they are detrans. Wich is what you are saying if your saying someone’s still trans even if their gender “identity” = their sex.
I think it’s difficult though because some trans activists will use that to say detrans people (even the ones with who fully transitioned and lived that way for years) have nothing to say about trans issues because they are “cis” and thus were never actually trans.
I think it’s wild they said it too you. Like I get that it can be difficult for some people to get T but I mean… what happens if they get some kind of serious side effects, or an allergy. I would say just throw it away if you can’t give it to the pharmacy.
I think your hair is really nice, I like long hair on men.
However if you think it’s likely you will have a breakdown and shave it all off maybe making the decision to cut it shorter sooner, rather than waiting till then, will be better for you mentally.