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Reddit user /u/artparasitex's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 17 -> Detransitioned: 21
female
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
trauma
influenced online
got top surgery
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The user's posts are highly detailed, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent over time. They describe a complex personal journey with specific medical, psychological, and social details (e.g., endometriosis, credit score discussions, specific interactions with doctors) that are characteristic of a genuine lived experience. The advice given to others is cautious and emphasizes introspection, which aligns with the perspective of someone who has experienced harm.

About me

I transitioned to male because I felt unsafe as a woman after surviving abuse, thinking it would protect me. After years of living as a man, being called "miss" during the pandemic felt surprisingly okay and started my questioning. I became suicidal trying to force myself to continue a life that felt like a lie. I stopped testosterone over a year ago, and coming out as a woman again was met with overwhelming support from everyone, including my fiancé. I'm now happily living as a woman, though I regret my top surgery and am looking into reconstruction.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated. It started because I felt unsafe being a woman. I survived childhood sexual abuse, and I saw how poorly women were treated. I thought that if I was a man, I would be safer, blend in, and just be left alone. I didn't transition because I felt like a man on the inside; I did it because I wanted to escape from the difficulties and trauma that came with being female.

I was a feminine guy with long, bright-colored hair. I passed completely as a man for years. But when COVID started and everyone wore masks, it hid my facial hair. One day, a coffee shop worker called me "miss" and "young lady." In the past, that would have made me cringe and want to crawl out of my skin, but that day, it felt okay. It was confusing and started months of me questioning everything.

I realized I didn't actually want to be a man, but I felt like I was in too deep. I had facial hair, a deep voice, and no breasts. My entire family and my fiancé's family saw me as a man. I was terrified they would think I was crazy if I went back. I tried to force myself to keep living as a man because I thought I couldn't take anything back. This made me completely miserable. I became suicidal, started cutting myself, and drank way too much.

A little over a year ago, I finally decided to stop taking testosterone. Getting my period back a month later gave me a weird sense of euphoria, even though I have endometriosis and a bleeding disorder that makes it incredibly painful. That was a sign I was on the right path.

Telling people was scary. My fiancé was the first person I told. We're high school sweethearts and were together before I transitioned. He was surprised but took it well. He told me he wasn't actually bisexual, but that he was in love with my soul and would stick by me. I told everyone on Facebook, and surprisingly, everyone was supportive, including my trans friends. I even told my mother-in-law while I was drunk, and she told the rest of her family. They all supported me too. My own family, who I'm a bit estranged from, were also supportive. No one thought I was crazy.

Finally, I felt free. I wasn't living a lie anymore. The drinking stopped, the cutting stopped, and the suicidal thoughts went away. Everyone started using she/her pronouns for me right away.

Over the past year and a half, my body has changed back a lot. My face softened, my voice got a little higher, and my feminine hourglass shape came back. I was shocked that things "downstairs" shrunk. I really miss my breasts and hope to get implants one day. My fiancé is going to pay for laser hair removal for me soon, which I'm really excited about.

Now I pass 100% as a woman again. Men hit on me frequently. I used to hate that, but now I kind of enjoy it as an ego boost. It reassures me that I don't look like a man anymore and gives me confidence.

I don't regret my transition because it led me to where I am now, and I learned so much about myself. But I do regret getting top surgery. My chest looks completely male, with the nipple alignment and pecs, and it causes me a lot of mental distress. I'm looking into reconstruction surgery now. I also regret how I let online communities and the excitement around being trans influence me. There's a "honeymoon phase" where it feels exciting, but then it just feels like nothing. You become invisible, which is what I thought I wanted, but it wasn't the right solution for me.

My advice to anyone questioning is to distance yourself from online trans communities for a while. They can hype it up and make it seem like it will solve all your problems. See an unbiased therapist who won't push you toward or away from transition. Hormones and surgery are serious, with permanent changes. If you realize you've made a mistake, detransition is even harder than transition was.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
17 Began identifying as male and started socially transitioning.
18 Started testosterone (T) injections.
19 Had top surgery (double mastectomy).
21 Stopped taking testosterone.
22 Came out as detransitioned to my fiancé and family.
23 (Now) Living as a woman again, seeking breast reconstruction.

Top Comments by /u/artparasitex:

8 comments • Posting since July 3, 2022
Reddit user artparasitex (detrans female) explains her detransition after a mask-wearing incident made her realize she was comfortable being seen as a woman, leading her to stop testosterone, gain widespread support, and discover her transition was rooted in trauma and a desire for safety.
59 pointsJul 3, 2022
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During the beginning of COVID. I was a pretty feminine "guy" and had longish, bright colored hair. I passed 100% but since masks were a thing, it was hard to tell. It covered my beard and facial hair. Hadn't been "misgendered" in years before that.

I went to a coffee shop and the worker was referring to me as "miss, young lady, etc." and it didn't bother me. I used to cringe by those words, wanting to crawl out of my skin, but it felt okay to me for some reason that day.

After that, for months, I battled with questioning my gender identity. At some point I realized that I didn't really want to be a man, but I was in too deep. I had facial hair, a deeper voice, no breasts. My entire family, and my fiance's family supported me and viewed me as man. I thought they would think I'm crazy if I detransitioned. I tried to force myself to continue being a man, since I couldn't take anything back. I became suicidal, cut myself, and drank a lot.

A little over a year ago, I decided to stop taking testosterone. I got my period after a month. It made me weirdly euphoric despite the fact that I have endometriosis, bleeding disorders, and it causes me excruciating pain.

I waited a couple more months, and the first person I told was my fiancé. He was really surprised but took it well. Turns out, he wasn't bi, but said he was in love with my soul so he stuck by me. (We're high school sweethearts and were together before my transition)

I told everyone on Facebook. Surprisingly everyone supported me, including trans people.

I told my mother in law while drunk, and she relayed the message to the rest of her family. They supported me.

I told my family last (we're kind of estranged since I moved out) and they supported me.

I finally felt free. I wasn't living a lie anymore. Drinking gradually stopped, no more cutting or suicidal thoughts. No one thought I was crazy. Everyone used she/her pretty much immediately.

Over the past year my face has softened, my voice has gotten higher, my feminine hour glass shape has come back, and much to my shock, "downstairs" shrunk. I really miss my breasts, but one day I hope to get implants. My fiancé is going to pay for laser hair removal for me soon, and I'm really excited.

I pass 100% as a biological woman now, and men hit on me pretty frequently. I used to hate it, but now I kind of enjoy it in an ego booster type of way. It reassures me that I don't look like a man anymore. It gives me confidence.

I also realized the cause of my transition was how poorly women were treated around me. Surviving CSA, too. I guess I felt like if I was a man, I would be much safer. No one would bat an eye at me. I'd blend in with a crowd. I just wanted to be left alone. Took me a while to unravel the true reasoning behind it.

Reddit user artparasitex (detrans female) explains why someone scared of HRT's negative effects, like rapid hair loss and acne, should reconsider transitioning and seek unbiased therapy.
14 pointsOct 12, 2022
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If you're scared of being an ugly man, then in my opinion I don't think transitioning is right for you.

You can't pick and choose what HRT does to you. My hairline started receding barely a month in.

If you can't embrace the "side effects", then it's likely something else that's bothering you, that gives you the desire to make such a drastic decision like changing your gender. Testosterone has the potential to make you go bald (sometimes very fast), make you greasy, gain weight, acne, enlarge your genitals (a guarantee), give you a beer belly, make you ugly, etc...

Please dig deeper and find an unbiased therapist, that won't urge you to transition or not. Some are eager to push HRT and act like it'll solve all your problems. There is little to no support for detransitioners.

If you end up detransitioning, it will be even more hell than the initial transition.

I wish you luck in figuring this out. ♡

Reddit user artparasitex (detrans female) explains the "honeymoon phase" of transitioning wears off, leading to feeling nothing and invisible, and advises distancing from trans content and seeking unbiased therapy before any irreversible procedures.
9 pointsOct 1, 2022
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Yes.

There's excitement for a bit after hormones and surgery, but eventually, it won't feel like anything at all. You just live presenting as the opposite sex. In my case, there was the "honeymoon phase" as someone else put it, and over time it felt... like nothing? I felt invisible, which I wanted initially, until I realized I transitioned for the wrong reasons.

I recommend distancing yourself from the community or any trans content for a while - because honestly it hypes up being trans, making it seem quirky and unique. Trans people exist, but a lot of people get caught up in it believing that they are because they want to feel a sense of being visible, loved, and part of something. I recommend seeing an unbiased therapist, too. If you still feel like you're meant to be the opposite sex after a decent period of time, then do what you need to do.

Hormones and surgery are nothing to fool around with. I know it might seem right in the moment, but the changes are irreversible and if you do realize you regret it, it's more hell than the initial transition. Mentally and physically.

(Assuming you haven't started a medical transition, or not too deep in it yet.)

Reddit user artparasitex (detrans female) discusses her research into insurance coverage for FtMtF top surgery reversal, citing her credit score, potential disability income, and UHC's policy on post-mastectomy reconstruction for mental distress. She also explains her specific aesthetic goals for a feminine-looking chest and asks another user about their surgical timeline and methods.
5 pointsJul 30, 2022
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Hello friend!

I didn't know that some plastic surgeons even offer that at all! So that's good to know. My credit score is 700 atm, 100% payment completion, however I have no income atm so I'm not sure if I'd qualify. D: although, I may be getting disability soon.

I did end up looking through the UHC community plan notebook after I posted this, and it says after mastectomies they cover reconstruction, without mentioning cancer being the cause. It also causes me mental distress so I'm thinking I could use that as the "illness" requirement. I'm not entirely sure if it'd work, so I'm going to call insurance tomorrow if they're open and see if that's a valid reason.

I've gone through counseling for years and have (mostly) recovered, regarding my trauma, besides a few triggers I have that make me have an episode. Thank you for your concern though, it means a lot that someone cares to mention that. :)

I actually kind of worded the woman part wrong - It's more so having a male chest, not a flat chest. The nipple alignment, pecs, etc. It looks completely male. If I had a flat chest that looked like a woman's, then it wouldn't really bother me as much.

And I'll take you up on that offer, thank you!

How long has it taken you from the consultation to getting the surgery date? And what's the overall process like? Which method of top surgery did you have done originally, and which method of reconstruction are you getting? (If there's anything that needs to be done besides the implants.)

Reddit user artparasitex (detrans female) comments on their personal experience of stopping HRT cold turkey after three years, clarifying they did not encourage the practice.
5 pointsOct 6, 2022
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It is? I just stopped completely one day after being on it for 3 yrs & I'm okay

Nowhere in there did I tell anyone to stop cold turkey, or encourage it. All I did was say, "is it?" then state my experience coming off of HRT.

And it wasn't easy, and still isn't, in the slightest - but thanks.

Reddit user artparasitex (detrans female) discusses the awkwardness of asking her original surgeon for a free top surgery reversal, her clinic's "informed consent" model, and her search for a new doctor.
4 pointsAug 1, 2022
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I didn't even think about that. I'll give them a call right now and see if I can schedule something with him to discuss it. Glad to receive advice like this from a lawyer, so thank you so much!

I guess I felt ashamed in a way to go in and be like, "hey - I know you gave me a great chest, but I realized I'm actually a girl, so..." He does surgeries for MTF and honestly the results are great, so I'd feel comfortable having him do it. Just an awkward situation I rather wouldn't have dealt with, but if I can get the chance of having a free reversal... sign me up. Worth a shot. Maybe it'll make them stricter regarding surgeries. The only requirement that was needed to get approved for it, was being on HRT for one year - which I think is nuts.

All of my other doctors know that I'm detrans, just not him. It's so weird how they treat me now, because I go to a health center that idolize trans people and have the whole informed consent model... I've heard they push hormones, too. I'm trying to find a new PCP because the only one there that doesn't treat me differently is my psychiatrist, and hears me out completely. Even offered to get me vocal training sessions which was cool of him.

Reddit user artparasitex (detrans female) explains the physical changes she experienced 1.5 years after stopping testosterone, including a return to a feminine face, a receding hairline, and the return of hip curves, noting that many AFAB individuals begin to pass as their biological sex again after the one-year mark.
4 pointsJul 23, 2022
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I'm around a year & a half (?) off T, I think. My face is completely feminine again at this point, hairline is still slowly working it's way back to how it was previously, and my curves (in terms of hips and sides - had top unfortunately) are back, pretty much the same as they were pre-t. It's different for everyone but I've noticed a bit after the one year mark is when most AFABs start to "pass" as their bio sex again, regardless of body shape.

Reddit user artparasitex (detrans female) discusses throat pain and vocal changes after stopping testosterone, noting a return of a softer speaking voice but permanent loss of her singing range.
4 pointsJul 24, 2022
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I was 3 years on T (IM) but I think my voice still had some "dropping" left because my throat hurt too when I came off of it.

It went away after a few months alongside other weird withdrawal(?) symptoms, besides most period changes, but I think it's related to my endometriosis. Probably made it worse with T, though.

I can relate, to some extent. I used to love singing while playing instruments, but can't anymore. Not from pain, though. My voice just cracks and gives out, if I try to do high vocals. Been that way since my voice started dropping.

My speaking voice did get softer and slightly higher after some time off, at least.

I hope it resolves for you soon, friend.