This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user's comments demonstrate:
- Personal, detailed experience with transition (voice training, HRT effects, surgery) and detransition.
- Complex, nuanced, and emotionally charged views on gender, society, and their own identity that are consistent with a genuine detransitioner's perspective.
- Internal consistency in their narrative across comments made over nearly a year.
- A passionate and critical tone that aligns with the expected stance of someone who feels harmed by their experience.
The account shows no signs of automated posting, copied content, or a manufactured persona.
About me
I was born male and transitioned because I saw masculinity as a brutal competition and felt I could never measure up. I lived as a woman for years, but I eventually realized I couldn't change my sex and had treated a mental problem with physical changes. Now I've detransitioned, and my body is permanently altered, which makes me stand out in a way I'm still learning to accept. I have a lot of regrets and anger, but I also gained a deeper empathy from my experiences. I'm now trying to find peace living in my own skin, without any labels.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition is complicated and full of a lot of pain, but also some hard-won lessons. I was born male, and for a long time, I truly believed I was supposed to be a woman. I think a lot of my feelings came from a place of deep discomfort with being a man. I saw masculinity as a constant, brutal competition where you always had to be better than the other guys. I could never measure up, and it made me feel worthless. All the people I ever really admired or looked up to were women; they seemed to have an openness and connection that men lacked, and I was jealous of that.
I started taking estrogen and lived as a woman for several years. I put an enormous amount of work into my transition, especially my voice. My natural voice is a very deep bass, but I trained it to sound extremely feminine. I know that a lot of people say estrogen can soften your voice, but I believe that's a powerful placebo effect; the actual change from testosterone is permanent. Voice training is what really works, even if you can't shake a certain huskiness.
Living as a woman gave me experiences most men never have, and for that, I am weirdly grateful. It gave me a wisdom and empathy I didn't have before. But ultimately, it wasn't a real solution. I began to realize that I couldn't actually change my sex. I had done a lot of violence to my body in the hope of fixing a mental problem—my gender dysphoria. I came to see that dysphoria is a mental illness, not some magical inner identity, and that we should try to treat it with as little permanent change to our bodies as possible.
Now, I've detransitioned. I stopped taking hormones. My body is permanently altered from the estrogen; I have breasts and wider hips. I usually get perceived as a woman until I speak, and then people just see me as a freak. That hurt for a long time, but I'm starting to make peace with it. I even sometimes like the look of shock I get from people. I have to remind myself that my body can still be beautiful even if it doesn't fit into anyone's standard of masculinity or femininity.
I have a lot of regrets. I feel like I ruined my body and wasted so much time. I'm filled with rage and jealousy when I see men who are happy or attractive in a masculine way because it feels like a club I can never be a part of. The idea of finding a male role model now feels impossible. But I also try to focus on what I learned. I learned who my real friends are—if someone can't stick around for a change of gender, they weren't much of a friend to start with.
My thoughts on gender now are that nobody is "really" trans or non-binary. We are just people with bodies and minds that sometimes feel at war with each other. We have to think clearly about our problems and understand that transition often just replaces old problems with new, unforeseen ones. I don't know what's left for me now, but I'm trying to find a way to live in my own skin, without hiding behind a feminine disguise.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on the events I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early 20s | Started taking estrogen and began living as a woman. |
| Early 20s | Underwent extensive voice training to feminize my voice. |
| Mid-to-Late 20s | Lived full-time as a woman for several years. |
| 28 | Stopped taking hormones and began detransitioning. |
| 29 (Present) | Living as a male again, dealing with the permanent physical changes from estrogen. |
Top Comments by /u/athelynk:
Idk if transphobic is a meaningful term (it's usually just homophobia), but you are pretty misogynistic. If you started transition as a teenager and literally just got ffs, chances are really low you don't pass. You told on yourself at the end, wondering if you could ever be one of the "pretty ones." Being pretty makes it easier, but you can pass fine while being plain. If your standard for a woman's worth as a woman is how pretty she is (which it clearly is, at least for yourself), idk that's literally just misogyny.
I feel the same way as a guy with breasts and wide hips. I think I usually get percieved as a woman until I speak, and then I'm just a freak. It hurt for a long time, but I think I'm starting to like the look of shock I give some people, lol. We just need to remember that not everyone has conventional tastes... I know I don't >.<
Also, in my experience on estrogen, it takes about a year for fat redistribution to be noticeable, and I've read it can take up to five years to have the full effect. I've never bound, but I'd be surprised if the sagging were truly permanent. Your body has a great power to heal itself: it just takes some time to work. If you're feeling impatient, maybe try getting a wig? Hair can make a huge difference.
There's a worrying amount of unexamined lesbophobia in straight GC spaces. I do my best to stay away from GC in general, since I already hate myself for being male enough. I can see why it would be good if I were a female desister though. There are probably lesbian-centred GC spaces that would welcome a hetero desister and hopefully not be weird to you. Good luck <3
It's a nice idea, but where do I find one? I can't remember a man I've known whom I'd like to be like. Everyone I've really admired has been a woman. It feels even more impossible to form a relationship with a male role model now since these days any man who seems happy or even just attractive in a masculine way fills me with rage and jealousy.
I have a lot of the same feelings. I feel like I've ruined my body, wasted my time. I just remind myself that I've learnt a lot about myself and society. I've had some typically female experiences most men never will and gained wisdom and empathy for it. I remind myself that my body can still be beautiful even if it doesn't fit into the standards of masculinity or femininity small-minded people might want it to. I remind myself that if someone can't stick around for a change of gender they weren't much of a friend to start with.
The big thing for me here is that masculinity feels like a neverending competition. Like to make it as a woman you just have to be good enough, but making it as a man means you have to be better than the other men. I think that's a lot of why all the people I've admired have been women; girls can be toxic sometimes, but they always had an openness to the people around them that men lacked, and I feel like I usually lack too.
I could try to just drop out of the rat race of masculinity, but what's left for me then? I'd rather hide behind a feminine disguise.
Yep, it doesn't go back in the sense that your voicebox is permanently altered. Voice change is a pretty strictly one-way street, despite the anecdotes you'll hear from trans and detrans people about estrogen softening voice. (Placebo is powerful in voice work.) Voice training is powerful, though. My natural voice is a deep bass, but when I was transitioning I got it to sound extremely feminine. There might be a huskiness to it that you can never shake, but that's hardly a bad thing! Whatever gender you're into, everyone loves milf energy. Feel free to message me if you need voice training help.
Don’t get too caught up in the terms of gender identity. Nobody “really is” trans or nonbinary. There are just people with gender dysphoria, which is a mental illness. Do what seems necessary to take of yourself, but don’t imagine you can change your sex. Think clearly about your problem, and do as little violence to your body as possible.
You say you don’t like your name. You can change it to whatever you like. You say you hate being a woman. What do you hate about it? Whatever your answer is, transition probably won’t change things as much as you hope, or you may find your problems replaced by different ones you’d never foreseen.