I think people would always want to change their bodies in all sorts of ways to mimic all sorts of other things. So “transitioning” would exist just not in the way we have seen them & definitely not to the degree we see it happening

I think gender roles happened out of convenience & what is considered convenient is based on what culture you’re from & where you were & what time period you were in. Imo gender roles we see now are heavily exaggerated from those points. Also that hormones are one factor in how someone behaves, & that can widely vary from person to person among having various factors that influence behavior in general

I’ve always hated sexed-brain theory. I can more understand someone who has a brain map of some part of their body being missing or a body part they feel should be missing… but not where there’s a part of their body being a completely different organ that it wouldn’t have otherwise. I’ve dealt with “GD” all my life from my first memories & that still sounds more than highly unlikely to me

For me, the first thing I did was to let go of “trans” & “cis”. The more I think that way, the more I’m like “I’m trans” & that’s not helpful

What helps me is bettering myself & putting time into my hobbies old & new, & going to the gym/working out regularly especially helps me a ton. Also slowly desensitizing myself to being referred to as a woman (including me referring to myself) & not thinking too much about it when someone thinks I’m a man

I find that therapy doesn’t entirely help me unfortunately, I believe it’s because the more I talk about my “dysphoria” the more I obsess over transition. What I called dysphoria I now call my insecurities. I don’t have my other social medias anymore, & I’m heavy on the block button when something trans-related or even LGBT-related comes up because I know I will go down a rabbit hole. I personally choose my own peace over communities around stuff like that

I try not to think of things as masculine or feminine either, just as this thing I like or this thing I don’t like. Looking at my body as objectively as I can, & just thinking of my body as a collection of organs I happen to have & my femaleness is inherently neutral & I don’t have to constantly think about that either

I’m not perfect & I can still catch myself thinking about my ideal self as appearing male, but it’s less than it was before & it’s a relief to have my real life as a distraction from my thoughts instead of engaging with them. I get wanting a guide through this, but you can build a discipline to know what helps you & what doesn’t & follow what you know to yourself is a more grounded mindset. There isn’t a normal to find, you make your own normal so that you are content with yourself

It’s also good to ask why you’re doing this. I was a retransitioner, my first detransition I didn’t take seriously. This time it actually means something to me

I detransed for very similar reason to you. I did slip into a pretty bad depression afterwards, & it’s not just because of hormone changes. For me at least I feel a loss of belonging & a loss of how I thought I was going to live my life & I felt like I made myself stuck in between worlds. I still have thoughts of further transition fairly often. I hate being associated with transness because of the community & movement, although I don’t hate the individuals within the community unprovoked

I’ve had gender issues also as a young child & constantly dreamed of myself as a boy & as a man & that’s where I found my comfort. Now I try to find new comforts & other things to focus on! You don’t have to do all of this, but I’ve changed my career path, I’ve changed my habits & hobbies, & I’m no longer involving myself in politics, & I surround myself in an environment that isn’t LGBT-focused. Those are examples of using my real life as a way to take a break from all the internal stuff, & you deserve a break

You’re in the beginning stages. Feeling uncomfortable is gonna be a part of the game for a while, & you might fight yourself with the “what if” since you haven’t medically transitioned or transitioned to a certain point which I don’t see a lot of people talk about unfortunately but I do feel that too. Based on what’s agreed to be “trans” I am “trans” & I don’t feel like other women & never have. But for me it did slowly get better when I stopped giving the concept of transness (for lack of a better term) the time of day in my life. I’m female regardless & I don’t have to think about being a woman especially constantly. Being female is simply a term for the kind of body I have & that’s all that it means to me.

Not overthinking anything helps. When someone thinks I’m a man or a woman, I don’t have to make that mean something to me & I don’t have to control how others see me whether it’s through changing myself socially/medically, or asking others to change to fit my desires. Letting that stuff go helps a lot. Bettering my body like dedicating myself to the gym & changing my lifestyle to where I feel healthier helps a lot. Doing things right now that I told myself I would do after I fully transitioned helps. My true life doesn’t start later, it starts right now!

I hope this helps you somewhat, you’re not alone in this

My label changed, but my orientation didn’t. I’ve only been genuinely interested in women. Being on testosterone along with the belief that everyone should be either bisexual or asexual confused me & put me in situations that made me very uncomfortable

Now I don’t believe that stuff anymore, everyone is free to be happy as they are without needing to change for the sake of others 🌻

I feel you & I get why you’re asking the question

For me, tbh I’m on medication that has side effects that lower my libido & that helps me take my mind off of it & I prefer it that way 😅 But when I do feel libido, I’ve learned that having these thoughts to achieve orgasm is fine, plenty of people have all sorts of thoughts during sex or masturbation & it doesn’t have to mean much more than a fantasy. You’re allowed to feel pleasure & have fun!

I try not to frame it as penis envy because idk about you but I feel it can be a harsh way to look at it & can make me feel bad about myself. I also don’t frame it as a part of “gender dysphoria” because then I put more meaning into something that doesn’t mean that much more than it is. Treat yourself gently & if your sexually active make sure your woman doesn’t try to make you feel any kind of way about it. You’re a woman & lesbian regardless & you’re not alone 🌻

Although I look masculine on the outside & I’m comfortable with how I appear in terms of expression, I’m actually fairly feminine in personality & that’s been fun to feel out 😊 I’m glad you’re finding new comfort zones within yourself!

Tbh I truly only know of spaces that are support group -related or -adjacent;

one is a discord that has separate channels for venting (so it’s moreso supportgroup-adjacent) but we do sometimes come on camera & say hi to each other & chat about random stuff. We sometimes share hobbies with each other, it’s pretty small for now, it’s for detrans lesbians. Does that seem up your alley?

(However they do verify people coming in)

I don’t believe in true transness, I can only say that GD is an issue regardless of whether they believe they are “trans” or not

There are people who can live with the consequences of transition, people who cannot live with those consequences, & people who have never experienced the consequences. There are “trans” & “nontrans” & “detrans” people in each of those categories

Others can! & I’m sure they can be a happy couple as long as they are stable in who they are & comfortable with their own experiences 🙂!

For me, I can’t. Even before I detransitioned I couldn’t deal with someone else’s gender issues who was transitioning, it was too much in combination with my own gender stuff

I could be with another detrans woman, though. I was with one in the past when I was transitioning & it was nice while it lasted

To answer the question of GD or BD, I feel that GD is a form of BD that is specific around gender perception

Stuff with CSA & CPTSD & BPD, transition whether it’s social &/or medical is going to further (imo unnecessarily) complicate that. For me, although I don’t think my transition was entirely because of traumas, me diving into transition was also a convenient escape from thinking about it

You deal with issues of the mind by exploring the mind, which I’m glad you’re doing with your therapist & even with others that care about you. Learning to be content with all of who you are (it includes your sex & how your body is) regardless of what path you take later on is important for mental well-being imo. Hormones & surgeries cannot do that mental work for you automatically, “true trans” or not

I can live with the changes I’ve made to my body & even like the experience at the time, but it was honestly unnecessary & I could’ve spent that time money energy elsewhere especially when I have other things to worry about including living with the effects of prolonged trauma. There’s nothing literally wrong with my sex so I find that listening to persistent thoughts of something being wrong isn’t helpful & can even derail portions of your life in favor of focusing on this stuff

Just know that asking yourself these questions, & asking others in your life questions, & deep diving with your therapist that isn’t afraid to challenge your thoughts & feelings & why you have them (respectfully of course), is a really good sign 🪧