My whole journey with gender was confusing, and looking back, I see now that a lot of my feelings were tangled up with other issues. I remember being a teenager and feeling like I had everything figured out. At 15, I was absolutely sure I wasn't a girl. A big part of it was realizing how unfairly society treats females, and I think I wanted to escape that. I also felt really uncomfortable with the changes happening to my body during puberty. I hated developing breasts and just wanted to be flat-chested.

I started identifying as a man. It felt like the answer back then. But as I got older, things started to shift. By the time I was 22, my perspective had completely changed. I started to understand that no matter how much surgery I might get, I would still be female. That was a hard thing to face at first.

The biggest turning point for me was when I discovered radical feminism. The idea that feminine doesn't equal woman and masculine doesn't equal man was a revelation. It was like a lightbulb went off. I finally understood that I could be a woman who has short hair, wears no makeup, and is flat-chested. I didn't have to change my body to fit into a box; I could just be myself, a woman who doesn't conform to stereotypes. A lot of gender theory seems to be based on reinforcing these strict roles, like if you like certain things, you must have a "lady brain" or something. It felt limiting.

I also started to see how this plays out with sexuality. I saw trans women calling themselves lesbians, but to me, that felt like a straight relationship being branded as gay, which I found confusing and harmful. It made me question if some people transition because it's more acceptable to be a trans woman than a feminine man.

I have severe ADHD, and I've learned that it shares a lot of similarities with autism, like having a hard time processing information, getting overstimulated, and having very emotional responses. I was even misdiagnosed with autism at one point. I think my neurodivergence played a huge role in how I experienced my body and social expectations. The discomfort I felt wasn't necessarily a sign of being born in the wrong body, but maybe just a different way of processing the world and the pressures put on me as a female.

I don't regret my transition journey because it led me to where I am now. It was a process of discovering myself, and it's okay to change and grow. Nobody is stuck being who they were at 15. My step-dad is 50 and he's changing his whole career. Life is about learning. Anyone who says you were faking it because you changed your mind can, well, eat rocks.

I never had any surgeries or took hormones. My transition was entirely social. I'm grateful for that now because it means I didn't have any serious health complications or have to deal with infertility. My main struggle was with body image and low self-esteem, and I've benefited more from just learning to accept myself as I am than I ever did from trying to become someone else.

Here is a timeline of the main events: