This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's posts display a highly consistent, nuanced, and emotionally complex narrative about their detransition, internalized misogyny, family dynamics, and the process of self-acceptance. The writing style is personal, reflective, and contains specific, believable details about therapy, medical gatekeeping, and community pressure that align with common detransitioner experiences. The account shows a clear long-term evolution in perspective and even offers supportive advice to others, which is typical for genuine members of that community.
About me
I started as a girl who felt deep shame and trauma about my changing body during puberty. I found an online community that convinced me my discomfort meant I was a man, and I took testosterone for years. I eventually realized my desire to transition was rooted in internalized misogyny and a hatred for how society treats females. I stopped hormones and have accepted that I am, and always was, a woman. Now I'm trying to heal from this experience and learn to love myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey started with a deep discomfort when I hit puberty. I was never told what to expect, and it felt traumatic. I started to hate my developing body, especially my breasts. I felt like being a girl made me less than, and I grew up in a religious background that sort of solidified that feeling of shame about being female. I mostly hung out with boys and hated being treated like I was delicate just because I was a girl.
Around 18 or 19, I found the trans community online. I read about all these experiences that I was having—like hating my body and feeling uncomfortable with puberty—and I became convinced that I must be transgender. I thought hormones were the only way to feel better about myself. My parents resisted hard when I told them I wanted to transition. They forced me to go to therapy, but I misunderstood; I thought they were trying to stop me. The therapist just confirmed I had gender dysphoria and encouraged me to do what felt right, which to me meant taking testosterone. We never talked about my internalized misogyny or the trauma from puberty. The root causes were never addressed.
I started testosterone at 19. I was excited about the changes: my voice deepening, growing facial hair. I was living in a fantasy that I would finally become a man and all my problems would be solved. I socially transitioned and lived as a man for years.
But eventually, I realized I had made a mistake. I stopped testosterone two years ago and finally came to terms with the fact that I am, and always will be, female. A big part of my desire to transition was internalized misogyny—feeling that women were inferior—and a deep-seated self-hatred and body dysmorphia that started in my teens. I feel like I was running from myself my entire life, and now I'm left with no sense of identity or self-worth. It's incredibly painful.
I regret transitioning. I'm angry that no one helped me deal with my issues when I was younger. I'm angry that the doctors and therapist I saw only focused on the gender dysphoria and didn't consider my depression, anxiety, lack of support, or history of changing my identity. They just saw the dysphoria and said transition was the answer.
Telling my family I was detransitioning was hard because I was embarrassed. They had been so against it initially, and I felt stupid for fighting them so hard. I never did a big "coming out"; I just told them I was fine with she/her pronouns again. They switched back without much question. I changed my legal gender back without telling them.
I don't really believe in gender anymore. I think it's a made-up concept, a label people use to express themselves. For me, the problem was never that I was born in the wrong body; it was that I hated the body I was in and the way society treated me for being female.
Now, I'm trying to learn to accept and love myself as I am. I have serious issues with self-worth and I know I need therapy for childhood emotional neglect, but it's hard to find. I’m focusing on being open about my experience to raise awareness, so maybe others won't make the same mistakes I did.
Here is a timeline of my transition and detransition:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | Started puberty; began to experience trauma and discomfort with my developing body. |
| 18/19 | Discovered the trans community online; became convinced I was transgender. |
| 19 | Started testosterone and began socially transitioning to male. |
| 21 | Stopped taking testosterone. |
| 22 | Came to terms with being female and began identifying as detransitioned. |
| 23 | Changed my legal gender back to female (current age). |
Top Comments by /u/bababeboooom:
Thank you... I think it's partly shame and partly my ego getting in the way. I feel like as soon as I tell them they're just going to say "I told you so." Rubbing salt in the wound. There was so much resistance from them when I started to transition it's just embarrassing that I fought back so hard and decided to transition. And now that they're totally fine with me being trans I'm telling them they were right from the very beginning. I honestly feel a bit stupid about it all
Tbh another huge problem was the trans culture I was exposed to. The doctor asked me a lot of questions and I had like 4 appointments before I was allowed to have any hormones but I was so convinced that hormones were the only way for me to feel better about myself and because I had dysphoria they gave me hormones. It's all pretty messed up
That makes sense, but it's still kind of insane to me. I don't think 18 year olds should be allowed to make that decision. But I suppose I'm biased because I made that decision at 19 thinking it was absolutely the right and only decision for me and now I regret it. I don't know if I would have been willing to explore other options back then, like counseling, but I almost wish I was forced to do so
That's true, but there are plenty of people like myself who were on hormones for years, convinced that one day it would make everything better. I was admittedly excited about the changes that were happening to my body, growing facial hair, my voice deepening, etc. Because I was living in a fantasy world where I would become a man. Unfortunately the root cause of me wanting to transition was never addressed in the first place, as is the case with many others.
Oh absolutely. It's crazy that these trans people don't realize how much harm is done when someone who isn't trans, transitions.
I'm going slightly off the rails with this but there was a guy I met this summer. He was questioning his gender cause he liked cosplaying female characters and lots of people told him he'd be a cute girl. He was also being pressured to start transitioning by trans people on the internet. Long story short, he thanked me SO many times and was so happy that we met because after we talked he said to me that he's definitely not trans and he just didn't really understand what being trans even meant. He was close to being pressured into transitioning and that is so scary and fucked up that something like that is even happening. It makes me wonder how many people are actually being pressured into this.
Wow, that's honestly pretty absurd... I think the only reason there are wait times here is because there are so many people trying to access these services which are only available by appointment. The doctors who specialize with trans patients are always incredibly busy as well. But there seems to be waitlists for pretty much any medical services here, especially since covid started.
I never really thought about it this way, as it being indoctrination but you're right. I was told that it's normal to feel uncomfortable going through puberty and getting used to my body, but eventually I would get used to it. I was never given any resources or counseling to deal with my traumatic experiences with puberty. I was basically told to suck it up and get used to it like everyone else. I still hated my body at 18/19 years old, and that's around the time when the trans community really started blowing up on social media. I read about all these completely normal experiences thinking they were exclusive to trans people and well, here I am now. Angry that no one helped me when I was young. Angry because my mother didn't take me seriously or think twice when I told her I wanted to get surgery to remove my organs. My parents only pushed counseling on me when I was determined to transition and it was too late. Sorry about the vent, but I'm really just thinking about all of this for the first time now.
There is no right answer for this, do it when you feel it's right for you.
Personally I had a very hard time disclosing to begin with so I stayed away from dating. Now I couldn't give a fuck and I have on my profile that I'm detrans. I can't be bothered to waste time on people who are going to judge me for the decisions I've made in the past, so I'd rather just tell them right away.
Most people are very understanding and curious about it, although sometimes they can ask inappropriate or TMI questions that some people might get offended by. I personally don't get offended, I just tell them that others might be offended by such questions. I'm very honest and open about it myself because I prefer to live as though I have nothing to hide. Anyways, I went on a bit of a tangent there but I hope this helps.
Definitely the resistance made it much worse. However I take full responsibility for my own actions, it's not their fault I'm stubborn and I didn't want to listen to them. It's just the way they said things that made me feel like I had to do it. They were always talking about me as though they knew me better than myself, and they didn't want me to transition because they were afraid I would regret it and blame them for not stopping me. I felt like they were trying to defend themselves, not help me make a good decision. But thank you, I've been telling friends first and so far everyone has been supportive. It's just very difficult to tell the people who have always reacted in unhelpful/unsupportive ways.
Thank you so much. It is really so difficult to be in our position. I stopped taking testosterone 2 years ago and finally came to terms with the fact that I am female and always will be, maybe year and a half ago. I've just been trying to ignore all the pain and suffering but I really can't hold it back anymore. I feel like I'm in the same dark place I was when the dysmorphia and self hatred started when I was 12 years old. Only now I can actually see why I feel the way I do, I just don't really know what to do about it. It drives me insane. I wish I could just ignore it all and pretend nothing happened and pretend that I'm fine but that doesn't work anymore.
That's absolutely horrible what you were put through. I basically diagnosed myself with gender dysphoria and sought out doctors who would prescribe me hormones. Like you, I just wish they would've considered everything else happening in my life - the lack of friends and family support, depression, anxiety, etc. They really just glazed over that and thought that transitioning would fix me, even though I also had a history of changing my identity when I was younger. I feel like I've just been running from myself my entire life and now I'm left with absolutely no sense of identity or self worth. I feel so lost and hurt. I keep getting fixated on my appearance, thinking that maybe if I was more pretty it would be easier, but I'm sure it wouldn't be any different. At the end of the day I'm afraid to face myself and understand the person I've become because it's painful to even think about it.
I sort of went on another rant there but again, thank you. I don't really have anyone in my life who understands what I'm going through other than the people on here so I really appreciate the kindness.