This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's posts demonstrate:
- Personal, detailed experience with medical transition (specific dosages, procedures like an orchidectomy, and the physical/mental effects of hormones).
- Internal consistency in their narrative about discovering their Autogynephilia (AGP) and how it influenced their decision to transition and later detransition.
- Complex, nuanced opinions that reflect the passionate and often stigmatized perspective of a detransitioner, including criticism of trans activist narratives.
- Empathetic engagement with others, offering advice and sharing their story to help people in similar situations.
The account exhibits the hallmarks of a real person who is a desister/detransitioner.
About me
I transitioned because I was confused about my sexuality and thought I'd be more desirable as a woman, driven by a sexual attraction to the idea of myself as female. I lived as a woman for over three years and had surgery to remove my testicles, which is permanent. After I stopped estrogen and started testosterone, my energy and mood improved dramatically and I finally felt like myself again. Understanding that my desire to be a woman was rooted in my sexuality made my dysphoria completely vanish. I'm now living as a straight man and while I have some physical reminders, I finally feel my life is authentic.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I was deeply confused about my sexuality and my identity. Looking back, I think the main reason I transitioned was because of something called autogynephilia, or AGP. For a long time, I was told AGP wasn't real, that it was a harmful idea, and that if I felt like a woman, I was valid. But now I believe that's what was driving me. It's basically the idea of being turned on by the thought of yourself as a woman. I didn't understand that at the time, and the shame and embarrassment of it made me deny it, which just made everything more confusing.
Before I transitioned, I didn't have a great opinion of myself as a man. I think I saw women as better than men, and I felt undesirable as a guy. I never had a relationship early on, and I think part of me thought I could be more desirable if I was a woman. My sexuality was always strange to me. I found that I was only really interested in men when I was imagining myself in the female role. I had a boyfriend when I was living as a woman, and now, looking back as a straight man, the whole thing makes me cringe. It feels like a complete mindfuck.
I was on hormones for about three and a half years. I took estradiol and spiro. The hormones changed me a lot, not just my body but my personality too. I became more agreeable and polite, which I think was my male idea of what a woman should be. It was like I was trying to become the ideal woman I would want to be with. It’s a shallow way to see womanhood, but that’s because I was a man guessing what it was like.
I ended up having an orchidectomy, which is the removal of my testicles. That was a permanent change. After I decided to detransition, I had to stop the estrogen and start taking testosterone gel instead. Since my body can't make its own testosterone anymore, I have to take it for the rest of my life. It took about six weeks on testosterone to really feel like myself again. I got my sex drive back, had more energy, and my mood improved dramatically. I feel a lot better now.
My feelings about gender have completely changed. I don't really believe in being "cis" or "trans" as strict categories you have to fit into anymore. They're just descriptive words. I think gender is, for the most part, an extension of your sexuality. For someone like me, my desire to be a woman was tied directly to my sexual feelings. I don't have dysphoria anymore since I decided to detransition. Acknowledging my AGP made the dysphoria vanish. It was like understanding the root cause took away its power.
I do have some physical reminders. The hormones gave me breast tissue. Now that I'm on testosterone, my chest looks less like female breasts and more like a cis man with mild to moderate gynecomastia. I usually wear two layers to hide it, and I'm considering surgery for it in the future. It's not the worst thing, but it's a constant reminder of a choice I can't take back.
I have regrets. I regret the permanent surgery. I wish I had been able to understand my AGP sooner. I think if I had, I could have just acknowledged those feelings without changing my body. "Repression" in the sense of understanding the urge but not acting on it medically would have been a better path for me. I think a lot of people, especially those who aren't exclusively attracted to men, should seriously consider if AGP is a factor for them before they transition. It doesn't make you a nasty pervert, but being brutally honest with yourself about your sexual motivations is so important.
Now, I relate to men more. I'm perceived as a normal straight man, and that feels right. My whole perspective shifted once I started living with testosterone as my dominant hormone again. I still have trans friends, and I don't know what to say to them about all this. It's a difficult topic. But for me, detransitioning was the right choice. I'm finally living a life that feels authentic, not based on a sexual fantasy I mistook for an identity.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Around 20 | Started identifying as a trans woman. Began taking estrogen (estradiol) and spiro. |
| For about 3.5 years | Lived full-time as a woman. |
| Around 23.5 | Had an orchidectomy (surgery to remove testicles). |
| Around 24 | Decided to detransition. Stopped estrogen, started testosterone gel. |
| 24 years, 6 weeks on T | Felt fully the effects of testosterone: higher sex drive, more energy, better mood. |
| 24.5 years (Now) | Have been on testosterone for about 6 months. Living as a man, no longer experience dysphoria. |
Top Comments by /u/basbnajwwhehh:
Yep. I don’t think I can ever talk about it IRL. Maybe to a confidential therapist. Which fucking sucks. I think the shame and embarrassment leads to denial of AGP, which completely muddies the water, convinces people like myself to trans (bc agp isn’t real and you’re valid), and fucks up the trans activist narrative bc they have to always deny this fairly obvious thing.
I still have trans friends and I’ve no idea what to say about this to them.
Hello. Speaking personally, I think gender is, in most ways, an extension and signifier of your sexuality. If you’re not exclusively androphilic - you might want to consider that you might be AGP. That doesn’t mean you’re forbidden from transition in my book but I think it’s something really important to know about. Obviously you’ve been on HRT for a while and so know how dramatic the change in sex drive can be.
I would just be very radically honest with yourself about your sexual motivations about transition and really strictly analyse how this will play out all into your future.
I’m not trying to call you a nasty sex pervert faker. I really wish you the best. I’m just coming from the perspective of being told AGP wasn’t a real thing and realising later that it was, and can be very powerful even if it seems disconnected from your sexuality.
I’m not saying women have to conform to these stereotypes. The whole point in AGP is becoming the woman you wanna fuck. So I guess subconsciously I imagined the ideal female partner to be agreeable, polite, whatever. Obviously these are shallow observations about female-ness, but that’s because I’m male and I don’t actually have a female experience and had to guess.
I guess my whole point is how hormones and AGP can work together to change your personality dramatically. I’m not trying to squish myself into bro culture or whatever. But I find myself relating to men more since being on testosterone.
But yeah, thanks for wishing me well. I feel a lot better.
It’s a collection of detrans individuals. There’s no one group opinion on trans ideology. I would imagine most people here are skeptical of the trans movement in general, but in terms of individual trans people, not at all. Probably lots of us still have trans friends. I don’t think questioning the accepted trans dogma makes one transphobic and certainly most people here aren’t making fun of individual trans people for their transness. In my book that means this sub is not transphobic. If your definition of transphobia is anything that calls into question the most fervent pro-trans discourse at all, then maybe — but I think that’s a very uncharitable and childish way to look at it.
Given most people here used to identify as trans, there’s lots of empathy and compassion towards those who still ID as trans.
Cis or trans are descriptive terms not prescriptive things you must follow. Whether or not you “are trans” doesn’t matter. Just live your life and if someone asks you can tell them about your past trans stuff. There’s no need to decide in your head whether you’re “cis” or “trans”.
You’re good. Guys aren’t gonna care you had a one-year tomboy phase. Frankly it’s kind of endearing. Everyone has cringy style as a teen. Having had short hair and a discomfort with stereotypical femininity for a while as a teenager won’t be a big deal in relationships unless the guy is insane.
Yeah that’s tough but it sounds like you are AGP to me. Sorry. You could try /r/askAGP or /r/Blanchardianism (spelling?) as well. If it makes you feel better, like 75% of trans women are AGP. If you acknowledge your AGP you will be in a better position to have clarity about your transition and be less cringy.
Just to home in on one particular thing - sexuality. I think there’s a fair chance you might be what Blanchard described as pseudobisexual. That’s not a judgment - that’s what I am too. It has helped me make sense of my strange sexuality. I am basically only interested in men when I am taking on the ‘female role’. For me, this revelation came about as I detransitioned, got horny again, and realised I did, indeed, have AGP and Blanchard was right (imo). I also had a boyfriend in transition and frankly it makes me cringe to no end now to think about that because I am now perceived as a pretty normal straight man. It’s a mindfuck for sure.
I also think that this could have been manifested by, or at least accelerated by, your smaller frame and slightly flamboyant personality & lack of early relationships. Maybe you thought yourself undesirable as a man, but potententially desirable as a woman? Again, I’m not trying to insult you - I have a similar experience and this is kind of how I rationalise my decision to transition.
With regards to the rest, I am upset about having breasts but for me, they weren’t huge, and after some time on T, I would describe my chest as looking like a cis guy w mild-moderate gyno. I eventually want to get gyno surgery but it’s not the worst thing. I usually just wear two layers and it’s mostly dealt with.
Let me know what you think. I’m still really interested in stories like ours. I’m also available if you have questions. I was a trans woman for 3.5 yrs and had an orchidectomy. I am now on T and have been for about 6mo now. It’s going well.
It’s maybe different for me because I had an orchidectomy and now have to take exogenous T. So it took maybe 6weeks even on that before I felt like I was fully running on T — getting horny like once or twice a day, erections, more energy, higher metabolism (I think, maybe just bc I’m less depressed now). That all reached its peak around 6wks. Obviously you start to feel it a bit as soon as you’ve got a bit more T in system. But of course it will be different if you are going off HRT and naturally producing T which apparently can take a while to ramp up. Good luck. If you’ve any questions you can pm me.
It’s definitely remarkable how different it feels. I would be wary of it if you still have dysphoria. Personally my dysphoria vanished when I acknowledged that I wanted to detrans. It will make you a lot hornier which can be tricky if you’re AGP as it might re-introduce dysphoria to your life. The body hair and horniness might be tricky to mitigate if you’re dysphoric. That said, I feel my mood is a ton better on T and I’m personally a lot happier on it (exogenous, post orchi). Good luck.