This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the extensive comments provided, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments demonstrate:
- Deeply personal and consistent narrative: The user shares a detailed, emotionally resonant, and consistent story of being an FTMTF detransitioner, including specific medical procedures (top surgery, testosterone), personal struggles (sexual trauma, body image issues, internalized sexism), and the process of detransitioning.
- Complex and nuanced engagement: The user engages with a wide range of topics (medical, psychological, social, political) in a nuanced way, offering support, sharing personal anecdotes, and debating complex ideas. Their perspective is consistent with a passionate individual who has lived this experience, including the anger and criticism towards the medical and therapeutic communities they feel failed them.
- Natural conversational flow: The language is varied, includes personal asides ("IDK where I'm going with this"), and shows a natural development of ideas over time. The user responds appropriately to different posts, offering empathy, advice, or debate as the context requires.
The account exhibits the passion and criticism mentioned in the prompt, which is consistent with an authentic detransitioner's perspective rather than a red flag for inauthenticity.
About me
I started transitioning because I felt being an ugly boy was better than being an ugly girl, and I thought hormones and surgery were my only path to self-acceptance. After having top surgery and taking testosterone, I realized my discomfort wasn't with my body itself, but with how society views and treats women. I came to understand that my feelings were deeply tied to trauma, internalized sexism, and a fear of living as an adult woman. I regret the permanent changes, especially my surgery, and wish my doctors had questioned me more when I was unstable. Now I'm learning to accept myself as a masculine woman, finding peace through stepping away from online spaces and reconnecting with my body.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition started when I was really young. I remember even as a little kid on the playground, I’d refer to myself as a boy and had mostly masculine hobbies and interests. But I was still raised as a girl, and I lived that way until I discovered transgender identities online in high school. That’s when things really shifted for me.
I started binding my chest the summer after high school and went to college as a man. I was deeply dysphoric about my chest, my voice, and my height. I thought hormones and surgery were the only way to feel like myself. I started testosterone about a year after fully socially transitioning, and I had top surgery a year after that. At the time, I truly believed I needed these things. I thought my body shouldn’t have breasts.
Looking back, I can see that a lot of my feelings were tied up in trauma and internalized issues. I experienced sexual abuse at a young age, which I think led to hypersexuality and sexual fantasies where I was a boy. These fantasies heavily influenced my decision to transition. I also struggled with low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. I hated the way I was perceived as a woman. I felt like being an "ugly boy" was better than being an "ugly girl." I was influenced a lot by online spaces, especially anime and yaoi communities, where I saw other girls like me adopting trans identities. It felt like a way to explore attraction without dealing with the misogyny in straight relationships and media.
After top surgery and being on testosterone for a while, I started to realize that my discomfort wasn’t really with my body itself, but with how society views female bodies. I feared living as an adult woman because of the sexism and violence I might face. I wanted the respect that men get, especially in male-dominated spaces. Transitioning did give me that in some ways—I was treated better by sexist men when they thought I was one of them. But it didn’t fix the deeper issues. I had alienated myself from my own body.
I detransitioned after realizing that my body-image issues were more about internalized sexism than anything else. I had deeply ingrained ideas about what was "acceptable" for a woman, and no amount of hormones or surgery could change the fact that I was born female. I’ve learned that there are infinite ways to be a woman, and I don’t need to fit into a specific mold. Now, even with a flat chest from my double mastectomy, a deep voice, and dark body hair, I know I am a woman. I don’t need anyone else’s validation to confirm that.
I do have regrets about my transition, especially the permanent changes. I regret my top surgery—one of my nipples partially fell off, and I have scar tissue. I lack flexibility in my arms and upper body, and my skin is tighter there. I also regret taking testosterone because of the lasting effects on my voice and health. I wish my therapists and doctors had asked me more questions instead of just affirming my decisions, especially since I was suicidal and not in a stable place mentally when I started medical transition.
Today, I’m learning to accept myself as a masculine woman. I’ve benefited from stepping away from online influences, exploring feminist literature, and focusing on my mental health. I’ve also found that physical activities, like martial arts, help me feel stronger and more connected to my body. My journey has been long and painful, but I’m finally finding peace with who I am.
Here’s a timeline of my transition and detransition events:
Age | Event |
---|---|
4 | Began referring to myself as a boy on the playground |
18 | Started binding and socially transitioned to male |
19 | Started testosterone |
20 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy) |
22 | Began detransitioning |
25 | Fully accepted detransition and embraced identity as a woman |
Top Comments by /u/beanndog:
How can a teenager be too young to get a tattoo, to young to drink, too young to vote, but old enough to have experimental cosmetic surgery with an incredibly high complication rate? How many revisions are they willing to put up with? Will the complications be something they can accept? Complications like necrosis, complete loss of sensation, fistulas, inability to urinate, and more?
And if the surgery fails? If they have regrets? Once bottom surgery is done, there is no reversing it. Would you let a teenager make this decision, knowing they’re not even mentally mature enough to understand taking out a line of credit?
I hate how everyone they consider against them is a “TERF” like how many people here even consider themselves feminists much less radical ones??
Like idk what my point even is I just feel like we’re speaking different languages in different realities and it’s disheartening.
Unlike being gay or bisexual, having gender dysphoria causes innate mental distress and difficulty functioning. Obviously gay and bisexual people experience stigma and internalized bigotry that turns into distress, but simply being same sex attracted is not inherently distressful. Feeling like your body is incongruent with your mind and experiencing suffering because of this sounds exactly like a disorder. It causes significant disruptions, pain, and can lead to self-harm and suicide.
I really don't see what the LGB community has in common with the Transgender community besides both being targets of bigotry. It doesn't seem wise to sort ourselves into groups based on what hateful bigots say about us.
It's always people who are chronically online or deeply enmeshed in identity politics discourse that do this ime. Lots of people think defaulting to "they/them" when they're unsure of your gender is polite, but in practice it's very othering. Only gnc people get "they/themed" after all. Obviously it's not preached this way, it's told that everyone should always use they/them until they are able to ask your pronouns :) but no one does that. I've never met a single person who asks EVERYONE'S pronouns.
Just JUST got done commenting back and forth with a woman dead set on defending the pronouns of an actual pedophile. check my profile fr, it's nuts out there!
it's so fucked up how SA survivors and traumatized kids are being suckered into fighting for these predators. Along with the irreversible bodily harm
I'm so sorry this happened, I'm sorry this continues to happen. Just know that you can vent here, you don't have to feel unsafe
If you have your ovaries still, you can produce your own estrogen and you really shouldn’t need any exogenous hormones. Please be wary of taking hormones as a solution to identity or body issues. That’s kinda how we got into this situation to begin with.
Once you stop testosterone and let your ovaries do their job, it’ll take a while for changes to be observable but it’s important to take these things slowly and carefully. You can expect your fat to redistribute to more female patterns. You may see minimal breast growth if your surgeon left some breast tissue intact for you. Your skin will probably get smoother and your body hair may lighten. Your shoulders will likely stay the same.
Now, like everyone else has said, you don’t need to look a certain way to be a girl. You simply are one by nature of your biology. If you’re young and have only been on T for two months, I doubt you look impassable. When you go out in public, dressed however is comfortable to you, do strangers gender you as female? You could go out to eat or order a Starbucks or something and see if the server addresses you as “miss” or “maam” and that might be a good litmus test for where you are now.
Personally, having been on hormones for years, having had top surgery, and a voice that could pass either way depending on my effort, I still get called “miss” and “maam” everywhere I go. I don’t even wear breast forms haha. I think our natal sexes are way more apparent than maybe we think when we’re in the thick of this trans identity. I hope that’s comforting to hear.
If you’re interested in learning more feminine grooming techniques, youtube has a lot of good makeup and skincare tutorials. Obviously that isn’t necessary to be a girl, but I found myself drawn to this stuff after detransition and it does help me feel a little feminine when I want that. It must be said though, there’s a lot of value in learning this stuff from a girl or woman you trust.
I feel afraid for them.
I know a trans-man who is set on having bottom surgery and I just can not fathom how that is going to work out with their current health issues. He is scheduled for a definitive date and I dread it. I hope this is the right decision for him, or that he realizes it isn't and is able to back out of this in time. Sometimes I see cracks in this resolve, sometimes I get glimpses that he doesn't want to lose sensation or the ability to orgasm, that he already has health issues down there that 'the surgery' is widely known to exacerbate (or cause).
Like I know in my head that there are trans people who medically transition and that is the best option for them, and it leads to a happy life. But I also know that there are so many of us who got sucked up into all this and feel their life is ruined for it.
It's the same school of thought as when the right blames "crisis actors" or "false flags". Literally imagining a conspiracy instead of seeing the people in front of you.
So where can I get hired as a detrans grifter? I'm a college student with bills, point me towards the money right?
Who told you it sounds trans? You just sound like a normal woman witb vocal cord damage. You could pass it off as a cold honestly. Please listen to the comments here, go ask some more irl people you trust, you really do not sound that bad! That’s not even gas, you sound way more feminine than me or my cis mom. Please give yourself time, this sound isn’t as bad as you think and it’s certainly not worth ending it.
I’m so sorry you’re in pain though, I really do hope that fillers can help alleviate that. Please don’t do anything rash.
if you're ftm and 17 it really could be internalized sexism combined with puberty. Lots of girls develop body issues, identity issues, depression and other mental illnesses at this time. It's really not unheard of. What has been unheard of up to this point is treating those feelings with physical interventions of surgery and hormones.
If being denied hormones and surgery makes the dysphoria itself worse, why? Even if your parents agreed this second, your body would still be the same for months until you actually got all the referrals, consultations, etc. so why does the denial itself make your body image issues worse? Could it be deeper than just wanting a different appearance? Maybe it has more to do with other people's perceptions of you, than with your internal sense of self? Are you seeking someone's approval?
In the meantime, there are much healthier ways to deal with dysphoria than jumping to surgery and hormones at 17. You could try building muscle by weightlifting, maybe pick up journaling to document your thoughts, try new hobbies to build your confidence. Self isolation and giving up the hobbies you were passionate about feeds this negative cycle of you feeling uncomfortable in your own skin. I think your parents can see this and are worried you're spiraling.
I was a lot like you in that at 18 I decided to drop a lot of things that brought me joy, because I thought the idea of realizing my full trans self would make up for it. It didn't. Nothing I let go of brought me closer to being a man, or even further from being a woman. It just left my life kinda empty, so of course I was depressed and suicidal.