This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on this comment history, the account appears authentic. There are no red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user provides a highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent narrative of their detransition experience. The language is personal and reflective, detailing complex feelings of grief, regret, and self-analysis over time. The account expresses a viewpoint common among detransitioners: passion about the harm caused and criticism of rapid medicalization. This aligns with an authentic user who is a desister (someone who stopped identifying as trans without having taken hormones).
About me
I started feeling a deep discomfort with my female body as a teenager and just wanted to be flat. An online group convinced me that top surgery was the answer, and I was approved for the procedure after one very short therapy session. I now have serious regrets and am grieving the loss of my breasts and the female aspects of my body I took for granted. I realize my desire was rooted in body image issues, not in being male. I desperately wish there had been more limits to prevent such a permanent solution for someone like me.
My detransition story
My whole journey started with a deep discomfort with my body, specifically my breasts, from a young age. I remember as a teenager, around 16, I started looking into breast reductions. For over a decade, until I was 27, I searched for answers. I kept seeing messages that women should be soft and "fluffy" and that no one really wanted to be completely flat. I felt completely alone and like my feelings were wrong. I hated my breasts and just wanted to be as thin and flat as possible, which I now recognize was body dysmorphia and tied to a desire to be thin, not male.
I found a top surgery group online that completely validated my feelings. They convinced me that you didn't need to be trans to feel like your breasts weren't right for your body. That group made me feel seen for the first time. I started identifying as non-binary because it felt like a way to explain my discomfort without having to fully become a man. Looking back, I think a lot of this was influenced by what I was reading online.
I decided to pursue top surgery. The process was shockingly fast. A therapist diagnosed me with gender dysphoria after just one 15-minute session and wrote me a letter of approval. I was never on hormones. I even told my surgeon that my goal was never to go topless and that I hoped to wear bikinis afterwards—things that should have been major red flags for someone seeking a masculinizing surgery. But everyone was so eager to help me get it done as quickly as possible. I went into it guns all a-blazin'.
After the surgery, everything changed. I thought I was making the right choice, but I was wrong. I started to grieve what I had lost. I miss having breasts. I am sad that I will never get to wear lingerie or a deep-plunging dress that shows off cleavage, even though I had no desire to do any of that before. I never wanted to breastfeed or get pregnant, but now I find myself mourning the loss of that ability to be maternal in that way. I know there are ways around it, but it’s a hard loss.
I am now 100% in the depression stage of grief. I thought I had reached acceptance, but it's not a linear process. I hope I can find a partner who is open-minded enough to listen to my whole story before they judge me; that is my biggest fear. My friend, who is a lesbian, also had a double mastectomy and she often speaks of feeling inadequate next to her partner, who has a natural female body. I understand that feeling so deeply.
I have serious regrets about my transition. If that therapist had made me go through multiple sessions, I probably would have ended up just getting a breast reduction or no surgery at all. There need to be more limits in place to prevent people like me from being approved for this procedure. My desire to be flat was not about gender; it was rooted in body image issues and society's narrow ideas about women. I would give anything to have my breasts back.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Began researching breast reductions due to body discomfort and a desire to be flat-chested. |
| 27 | Found an online top surgery group that validated my desire for a flat chest without being trans. |
| 27 | Diagnosed with gender dysphoria by a therapist in a single 15-minute session. |
| 27 | Underwent top surgery, telling the surgeon my goal was not to go topless but to wear bikinis. |
| 27+ | Entered a period of grief, depression, and regret over the loss of my breasts and female characteristics. |
Top Comments by /u/betty_botter_butter:
When I was deep in the delulu pre op, I was active in a FB top surgery group (the same group who convinced me that you don't need to be trans to feel like your breasts aren't right for your body) and there was someone with probably five or six inch scars. Not even joking, they were extremely wide because this person had intentionally ignored their doctor's post-op instructions to keep their arms down because "scars are a mark of my transness and I want them on display." I still remember the comments too. A lot of "wow, you are okay with this?" and "I guess if it makes you happy?"
Wow, it's like I'm talking to myself from the past. I could have written all of this myself pre-op. These feelings you're having are rooted in gender stereotypes. Women can have demanding jobs, women can be just as or even more resilient than men, women can be plenty brave as men or even more so, women are hilarious (go watch Fleabag or Philomena Cunk or Catherine Tate etc etc). Once you overcome the societal bs that has likely been thrust upon you from a very young age, you will feel very differently. I would give anything to have my breasts back. My friend, who is a lesbian, also had a double mastectomy and she often speaks of feeling inadequate when she is with her partner because her decision is right there in front of her in the form of a natural female body vs her flat chest.
I seriously doubt you're trans.
Yes, this definitely made me feel less alone. It makes me sad that we have had extremely parallel experiences but I hope that by sharing our stories, we can help someone else to avoid our fates. I am 100% in the depression stage of grief right now; I thought I was in acceptance but as you know, this is not a linear process and we will bounce between stages for a long, long time.
We stand together. Thanks for sharing your experience with me. I'm here for you too.
Your comment has brought me some comfort. I hope it does get better because I can't imagine living the rest of my life feeling this way although I can't seem to find the tools to help me feel better. I'm trying very hard not to blame myself but I went into this guns all a-blazin' and everyone was very eager to help me get this done as quickly as possible. I was never on hormones either and my surgeon was very understanding when I said my goal was never to go topless, I hoped to wear bikinis post-op etc. All things that should have been major red flags for someone pursing chest masculinization.
I really hope I find a partner who is open-minded enough to listen to my whole story before they judge me. That is my biggest fear. Thanks again for listening.
Thank you. I want to believe that there is someone out there for me but it's so difficult to believe most days.
Part of the reason I thought I was NB was because when I was doing research for breast reductions, all the way back to when I was 16 through age 27, I would see posts from people saying they never wanted to be flat chested because women are supposed to be soft and "fluffy," surgeons saying that women often come into the clinic asking to be flat chested but what they really want is a B cup etc. I felt completely alone until I found the aforementioned top surgery group, which validated me in every aspect. Now I recognize that my desire to be as flat-chested as possible was body dysmorphia and what I really wanted was to be as thin as possible.
If the therapist who diagnosed me with gender dysphoria in 15 minutes had made me go through multiple sessions before she gave me my letter, I probably would have ended up either pursuing a breast reduction or not having surgery at all. There needs to be more limits in place to prevent people like me from being approved for this procedure. I miss having breasts. I am sad that I will never get to wear lingerie and be sexy and wear deep-plunging dresses that show off my cleavage, even though I had no desire to do that before this. I never wanted to breastfeed or get pregnant but now I am mourning the loss of my ability to be maternal in that way. I know there are ways around all of this and I can still do some of the things I mentioned but it is so hard.
I hope that someone will love me in spite of the fact that I cannot give them that.