This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, specific medical details (hidradenitis suppurativa, age, muscle loss) that are consistent across posts.
- Emotional nuance and a compassionate, supportive tone that aligns with a genuine detransitioner/desister's perspective.
- A consistent narrative about stopping HRT and the physical and emotional process of detransition.
- Natural language with varied sentence structure and no repetitive, bot-like phrasing.
About me
I was born male and started taking estrogen in my late thirties, believing it was the only way to be happy. The hormones severely worsened a pre-existing skin condition and destroyed my muscle mass, leaving me in constant pain and unable to work. I stopped the treatment and my body slowly began to heal once my natural hormones returned. I now see my transition as an attempt to escape deeper problems, and I regret that there isn't more honest information about these risks. Despite everything, I've found a life worth living on the other side and am learning to have compassion for my past self.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was a really difficult chapter of my life, but I’m finally in a place where I can look back on it with a bit more clarity. I was born male, and for a long time, I was absolutely certain that transitioning was the solution to my deep unhappiness. I saw it as the only way to fix what felt wrong. I never had any surgeries, but I did take estrogen for a while.
It turns out I was just wrong. The hormones ended up causing me a lot of physical problems. I had a pre-existing autoinflammatory skin condition called hidradenitis suppurativa, and the HRT kicked it into overdrive. It got so severe that I couldn't walk properly or even go to work. On top of that, the estrogen nuked all my muscle mass. I was a big guy, almost 40 when I started, and my body did not handle running on estrogen well at all. I was left weak as a kitten, with constant, horrendous back pain and I was perpetually exhausted.
Stopping the hormones was a turning point. It took a while, but my natural testosterone eventually came back. My skin condition has been slowly getting better since I stopped, which is a huge relief. It also took me a little time to get used to the different way emotions feel again on my natural hormones, but overall, that part wasn't a huge deal.
When I think about gender now, I see my past self's certainty as a kind of escape. I was trying to solve deeper problems by changing my body. I do have regrets about transitioning, but not in a way that makes me hate my past self. I think past me was just a human being making choices he thought would bring happiness. My main regret is that there isn't more accurate information out there about the ways transition can go poorly for some people. I wish there was more research and a less antagonistic climate around talking about these negative experiences.
Even with the regret and the physical pain I went through, I do believe life can be good on the other side. It might not look like what I thought it would before I transitioned, but it's still a life worth living. The best advice I can give to anyone going through this is to try to have some compassion for yourself. Let yourself grieve and get angry. It’s a legitimately shitty situation to be in, and it's okay to feel that way.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Almost 40 | Started taking estrogen (HRT) |
| 40-41 | Experienced severe worsening of skin condition, major muscle loss, and chronic pain from HRT |
| 41 | Stopped taking hormones |
| 41+ | Natural testosterone returned; health conditions began to slowly improve |
Top Comments by /u/bigoldcreature:
The best advice I have for someone where you are right now is to try to extend yourself some compassion. Past you was making choices that you thought would bring you happiness, and if those choices turned out to be mistakes then all that really makes you is a human being.
Let yourself grieve, let yourself get pissed off, let yourself process all this. There's still good things on the other side of all the regret, as painful as it can be to wade through.
I do, yes. I just want there to be more accurate information out there on the ways that transition can go both well and poorly for someone, and I want more actual research being done on both those things. The climate around all of this at the moment feels deeply antagonistic to those goals, and that makes me very sad and frustrated.
Good post. Your last line rings very true to me, and I wish the trans subs could extend us just a little grace. There are people here in so much pain, so much heartbreak and desolation. And like, yeah, people are going to say some gnarly shit when they're hurting bad. That's just one of the things that people in pain do. It's not pleasant to read and I don't think anyone looks on the things they said during those times as their proudest moments, but sometimes you just gotta yell when life sucks really bad.
Seeing a lot of myself in your story. It's alright to feel regret and to feel anger and to ask these questions, even if you can't find ready answers. It's a legitimately shitty situation to be in and it makes sense to feel some kind of way about it all.
I'm only a few steps further along than you are, but I can say that at least in my case, stopping the HRT allowed my natural testosterone to come back (I also didn't have any surgeries). It took a while before I noticed, but eventually it became obvious.
Hang in there, brother. Maybe life going forward won't look exactly the way it did before transition, but it can still be a good life and one worth living - I really believe this.
It took me a minute to get used to the different way emotions feel again on my natural hormones, but overall that part wasn't a huge deal. I think you'll be alright - like Pacha said, 2 months on isn't very long so I think your natural T will probably come back pretty quick.
Honestly, people on the internet lie about darn near anything. You can even see it in like, knitting subs, where people will tell you it's their first time knitting anything and it's this perfect elaborate sweater. People are just weird, I'm not sure it's a trans thing in this instance.
HRT didn't cause it, but it did massively exacerbate my hidradenitis suppurativa (be warned that's a gross-looking skin condition before you google it). It got so bad I couldn't walk or go to work anymore. Slowly getting better since stopping the hormones, thankfully.
I've talked about the fact that HRT kicked my autoinflammatory skin condition into overdrive before, but even aside from that it nuked all my muscle mass and left me weak as a kitten, with horrendous back pain and perpetually exhausted. I'm sure it wouldn't be THAT bad for younger people with much smaller frames, but I was almost 40 when I started and a big dude. My body was not happy trying to move around running on estrogen.
Honestly? No, I was dead sure that transition was THE solution to a lot of my problems. My concerns were that it seemed like such a massive amount of work and felt overwhelming, but I was certain that it was the right thing to do.
Turns out I was just wrong!