This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account does not show clear red flags of being inauthentic.
The user expresses a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally invested viewpoint that aligns with perspectives found among genuine desisters. The arguments are detailed, internally consistent, and show an understanding of the community's concerns (e.g., caution for young people, the role of therapy, criticism of mainstream trans activism). The language is natural and varies in tone, which is not typical of a simple bot.
Conclusion: The account appears to be an authentic person, likely a desister or someone with strong opinions on the topic.
About me
I started questioning if I was non-binary as a teenager because I was a tomboy and felt I didn't fit the female stereotype. I'm grateful I didn't make any permanent changes, as my feelings were just the normal confusion of growing up. I now see that my discomfort was with stereotypes, not with being female. I believe we need to be more careful about encouraging medical transitions for young people who are still figuring themselves out. Today, I am completely comfortable just being a masculine woman.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was a teenager. I was around 15, and like a lot of kids that age, I felt really confused and uncomfortable. I was a tomboy and never really fit into the girly-girl stereotype. Looking back, I think a lot of what I felt was just the normal awkwardness of puberty, but at the time, it felt like something was deeply wrong with me being a girl.
I started spending a lot of time online, and I kept seeing people talk about being trans and non-binary. The message I kept getting was that if you didn't fit the stereotype perfectly, you must not really be a girl. It was like the idea of just being a masculine woman had completely disappeared. People acted like the only option was to invent a new gender identity. I started to wonder if I was non-binary, because I didn't feel like the definition of a "woman" that everyone was using.
I'm really glad now that I didn't make any permanent changes back then. I see posts from 15-year-olds today who are talking about getting hormones illegally, and it makes me so sad and scared for them. At 15, you don't think logically; your decisions are emotional and impulsive. You're not even allowed to get a tattoo without your parents' permission for a reason. Making a choice that extreme, with permanent effects like a permanently deeper voice or infertility, is too big a risk when you're still figuring out who you are. I'm 20 now, and I'm a completely different person than I was at 16.
I think the best thing for anyone feeling this kind of confusion is to find a good, unbiased therapist. The goal shouldn't be for the therapist to tell you what you are, but to help you figure out for yourself why you feel this way. You need to get to the root of it, whether it's just discomfort with puberty, internalized issues, or something else entirely. Going to a therapist who will just automatically confirm your gender without any exploration can be counterproductive.
My thoughts on gender now are that we've pushed things too far. On one hand, people say they want to get rid of gender stereotypes, but then they turn around and use those same stereotypes to define who is trans or non-binary. It doesn't make sense. If a woman is just "anyone who identifies as a woman," then what does it even mean to "identify as a woman"? You have to have some idea of what a woman is to know if you feel like one. Stereotypes exist for a reason—a lot of women do like dresses and pink, and a lot of men don't. If we throw out the concepts of "male" and "female" completely, then the whole idea of being trans or non-binary falls apart because there's no binary to transition from or to.
I don't have any dislike for trans people, but I really dislike how mainstream and politicized being transgender has become. It takes what I see as a medical condition and turns it into identity politics. This hurts everyone. It makes people who were already wary of the concept even more distrustful, and it puts vulnerable, confused people in a position where they can be manipulated into changing their bodies in ways they might regret later. It's not just gender dysphoria, either; a lot of mental health conditions have been turned into trends online, which leads to self-diagnosis and people misunderstanding what they're really going through.
I never medically transitioned, so I don't have regrets about surgeries or hormones. My regret is that I ever felt pressured to question my own reality in the first place. I'm just a woman who doesn't like stereotypically feminine things, and that's okay. It should have always been okay.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 15 | Started feeling intense discomfort during puberty and confusion about my gender identity as a tomboy. Began being influenced by online discussions about being trans and non-binary. |
| 16-19 | Questioned if I was non-binary. Researched transition but decided against any medical steps. My feelings about my identity began to change as I got older. |
| 20 | Realized I am a masculine woman, not non-binary or trans. Came to believe my discomfort was with puberty and stereotypes, not my sex. Now advocate for careful consideration before any medical transition, especially for teens. |
Top Comments by /u/birbbs:
I agree. Unfortunately, I think that we are at the point where gender nonconformity has been pushed to the extent that if you aren't a caricature of your biological gender's stereotypes, then people will try to convince you that you must be trans...
It's funny because the same people will complain about gender stereotypes while pushing them so vehemently, whether they realize it or not...
That is also why I'm not too big on the concept of non-binary. Everything I've seen of people explaining why they consider themselves non binary is always along the lines of not fitting snuggly into their gender stereotype...I think it has become a replacement for concepts such as Tomboys. Instead of people just being male or female with diverse and varying interests and attributes, people now feel the need to essentially invent new genders to feel special. Overall, the concept of non-binary as a gender identity seems rather arbitrary to me.
The simple concepts of masculine women and feminine men have seen to have gone out the window.
I agree with what you said here, especially the age part. If I'm reading the post right, OP is around 15. That is like, right smack in the middle of some of the most confusing and uncomfortable teen years... There is a reason 15 year olds are not allowed to vote, make medical decisions, get piercings and tattoos without parental consent...etc etc. realistically a 15 year old doesn't think very logically, their decisions are often emotional and impulsive.
You don't want to make a choice this extreme at 15 years old, there's too much of a chance of things going completely wrong ESPECIALLY If you plan on getting HRT illegally, because you likely won't be getting it via doctor...that in itself sounds very dangerous
Seeing this post makes me feel so sad and scared for teens these days, as OP may very well just be bisexual and a tomboy. And I don't want to see young people destroy their bodies because they are confused and adults online are telling them what they're feeling isn't just a normal part of growing up. It's not fair to use the naivety of children and teens to push a political agenda, and possibly ruin lives in the process.
In theory, you could do that. But you run the risk of either your voice going back up, which can happen if you stop soon after and the damage isn't completely done. OR your voice will drop permanently (that seems more likely)...which may be a bad thing if as you grow older you decide you don't want to transition. your emotions are valid, but you are still young, I wouldn't do any sort of medical transitioning of any kind yet. You are feeling what you're feeling now but that may very well change as you get older. At 20 years old I am a completely different person than I was at 16.
I think therapy is the right answer. On top of that, OP, do try to seek out a therapist who is as unbiased as possible. It would be counter productive to go to someone who is gender confirming or to go to someone who is just going to down or belittle you for this. The key is mostly to get to the root of WHY you feel this way. A good therapist won't give you answers, but rather help you find the answers yourself.
I myself am conservative, I have no dislike for trans people, but I have a dislike how mainstreamed and politicized the concept of being transgender has become.
I feel like it affects everyone negatively.
It takes what I would consider a medically recognized condition and makes it quite literally identity politics.
It paints trans people in a bad light
It increases distaste for trans people in people who were already wary of the concept.
It puts vulnerable people in a position to be manipulated into making non reversible changes to their body
But it's not just gender dysphoria. A lot of mental illnesses have been mainstreamed...which I have no doubt leads to self diagnosing, over diagnosing, faking (we've seen that with tourette's recently), etc, etc.
This is a point I always make. If someone says a woman is anyone who identifies as a woman...we still need to have criteria for what a woman is. Like how do you know that you feel like a woman if you can't define a woman? This is why I'm not opposed to gender stereotypes. I mean, obviously, there are bad stereotypes, but things like loving pink and liking dresses and stuff?...these stereotypes are stereotypes for a REASON. Because a lot of women DO like those things, and a lot of men DON'T. If we completely throw out the concept of what's typically male and what's typically female, then at that point ANY gender identity loses validity. if male and female do not exist...you can't be cis, you can't be trans, the binary doesn't exist so people can't identify as NB.