This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. The user demonstrates a nuanced, deeply personal, and evolving understanding of gender theory and detransition, which is consistent with a genuine individual perspective. The language is complex, emotionally charged, and shows engagement in debate—all hallmarks of a real, passionate user rather than a bot. There are no serious red flags suggesting inauthenticity.
About me
I started identifying as transgender when I was 18 and began taking testosterone at 20. I realized that gender is a social construct, not an innate feeling, and that I didn't need medical interventions to be myself. I believe many females, like me, transition to escape the difficulties that come with being a woman. I decided to detransition at 25 to address my underlying issues directly instead of trying to change my body. I am now 26 and finally at peace, embracing myself as a female without any labels.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started when I was pretty young, and I think a lot of us were young when we first encountered these ideas. I was discouraged from thinking critically about what gender actually is. I still see the trans community react harshly if someone questions the idea that you can have an innate feeling of gender. For a long time, I just accepted it.
I came to realize that gender isn't an innate feeling, and I believe that's true for everyone. The way I see it now is that "gender" is something society constructs based on your biological sex. So, the gender "woman" comes from having a female body and the way society treats that body. But "gender identity" is different. That's something a person constructs for themselves, often because they feel a disconnect. For example, a "female" gender identity has to come from a male body, because if you were born female, you wouldn't need to identify as one; you just are one. You then try to change your body and presentation to get society to treat you like a female.
This thinking was a huge part of why I decided to detransition after about six years of living as a trans man. If gender identity is something we self-construct, then maybe I didn't need all the medical interventions. Transition is expensive and medically intensive. I realized that if I didn't absolutely need those things to fix a "broken" body, I should stop. Choosing self-acceptance instead of trying to change my body has been incredibly rewarding.
Looking back, I see other reasons too. For females like me, I think a lot of us transition to escape things like misogyny or other trauma. It's an attempt to escape the difficulties that come with being female in this society. I also see that for males who transition, it often seems to come from a place of thinking womanhood is something you can just opt into, which feels like a misunderstanding of what womanhood actually is.
When I finally made the decision to detransition, it was terrifying but also a huge relief. I remember thinking I was in too deep, that I had already told everyone and had been on testosterone for too long to go back. But I realized that was just an excuse. Transition can often be a band-aid for other issues, like depression or low self-esteem. I had to face those issues directly instead of trying to change my body to escape them.
I don't regret exploring my identity because it led me to where I am now, but I do regret the permanent changes from taking testosterone. I mainly regret not questioning things more deeply from the start. My thoughts on gender are firm now: it's a social construct, not an internal essence. I'm happier now that I've chosen to just be myself, a female, without trying to fit into a specific identity box.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | First started identifying as transgender and non-binary. |
| 19 | Began socially transitioning to male. Started using a new name and pronouns. |
| 20 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 24 | Began seriously questioning my transition and the concept of gender identity. |
| 25 | Made the decision to detransition and stop taking hormones. |
| 26 | Fully embraced my identity as a female and found self-acceptance. |
Top Comments by /u/bird-steward:
two huge assumptions: 1.) that people detransition simply because being trans is "too hard." 2) that anyone is "truly trans."
i think a lot of us were young when we encountered the idea of (trans)gender and were discouraged from thinking critically about what gender actually IS. i know i was. i still see the trans community react harshly if someine questions the innate essence of gender, that one can actually "feel like a man/woman." even if we weren't young, queer theory decouples sex from gender, rendering both meaningless.
i came to realize that gender is not an innate feeling, and i believe that to be true for everyone. gender is constructed for everyone, but the difference between gender and gender IDENTITY is that society constructs gender, but as trans people, we self-construct gender IDENTITY intentionally.
gender arises from a biological sex and the way the society treats that sex (so the gender woman must arise from a female body and gets constructed for the woman by the society that treats that female body in a specific way). the gender identity of woman must arise from a male body (otherwise it's not necessary to identify as, it simply IS) and it gets constructed BY the individual through social and body manipulation to get the society to treat that body in the way it would a natal female body.
the inverse is true for the gender of men (arising from a male body, constructed through male socialization) vs the gender identity of men (arising from a female body and self-constructed to reproduce male socialization).
this started me down the path to detransition. i ultimately chose to detransition because transition is expensive and medically intensive. if i didn't NEED those things to "correct" a broken body, i decided i should stop. choosing self-acceptance has been so rewarding.
one thing i didn't think i needed to mention but maybe should have: misogyny. generally, females transition to escape trauma and misogyny, whereas males transition because they think womanhood is something they could ever possess.
that you transitioned because you loved yourself enough to give yourself something you needed (womanhood), that you think womanhood is something you can opt into or elect, really cements my view.
sometimes there are things that are just not for you. in your case, womanhood is one of those things. but how like a male to think that can be taken, too.
you asked! lmao. sorry the answer isn't what you wanted. why not try to refute some of the points rather than just get indignant about it? stating things objectively (as in what a gender vs a gender identity and how each arises in society) is NOT an opinion lol.
womanhood requires girlhood, girlhood requires a female body. sorry!
seems i touched a nerve :)
it sounds like you're having some serious doubts. i don't have the experience of being mtf, but i transitioned ftm for 6 years.
deciding to detransition was both terrifying and a huge relief. i thought a lot of the same things: i've already told everybody. i felt i was too far on T to reasonably go back.
but doing some thinking led me to see that transitioning can often be a bandaid for other stuff. you said you have a spouse and family--talk to your partner and share these feelings. you're not having them for no reason.
and certainly don't continue on hormones just because you don't want to workout. think of all the effort it takes to transition; if working out could help you with self-acceptance, maybe that is worth the effort instead. it also sounds like there could be some depression at play, especially when you mention a lack of self-care.
i've found self-acceptance to be so rewarding. you're not "in too far" to go back. there's no shame in thinking you're one thing and finding out differently.
whatever you choose, good luck.