This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The user's comments are highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and show a consistent, personal perspective on detransition, body image, and femininity. The language is natural, with self-corrections and cultural references that are atypical for bots. The user identifies as a desister who did not medically transition, which is a valid experience within the community. The passion and occasional anger expressed are consistent with someone who has personally grappled with these issues.
About me
I started identifying as a man because I felt like an ugly girl and thought life would be easier as a man. My desire to transition was really a form of escapism from low self-esteem and the pressures of being a woman. I now see it was a psychological defense mechanism, not a true identity. Today, I accept myself as a masculine woman and dress in a way that feels authentic to me without changing my body. I still sometimes struggle with dysphoria, but I understand it's unproductive thinking, and I'm grateful I never medically transitioned.
My detransition story
My journey with all of this started because I felt like an ugly girl. I mostly ignored my body, but having a somewhat masculine face made me start to identify with being a man. It wasn't just about my face, though; a big part of it was growing up female in a misogynistic society and feeling like I'd have an easier time and be more confident as a slightly weird-looking but handsome man than an outright ugly woman. That was a really unproductive way of thinking, but it felt real at the time.
I never ended up physically transitioning. I think a lot of my desire was a form of escapism from my own low self-esteem and the discomfort I felt with the expectations placed on me as a woman. I was uncomfortable in clothing that overtly signaled to the world that I was female. I started to believe that if I could convince myself I was actually a man, I'd be safe from male attention and free to dress and behave however I liked without judgment. It felt like femininity was a choice for men, but an expectation for me.
Looking back, I see it was a kind of psychological defense mechanism. I don't believe my feelings were caused by a hormonal imbalance. The idea that a man with a hormonal imbalance would suddenly want to birth a child, or a woman would want to impregnate someone, doesn't make sense to me. That feels like something else entirely, maybe a fetish or an obsession stemming from trauma.
Now, I understand that I'm just a woman who doesn't fit into a narrow feminine ideal. I've learned that I can be a woman and still dress in a way that feels authentic to me—my clothes are the clothes of a lesbian because I am one. I don't have to conform. I've benefited from exploring styles that actually suit my body, like clean, bold lines instead of soft, frilly details. It's about enhancing what I already have, not changing who I am.
I do still have bouts of dysphoria sometimes, where I mourn the confidence I thought I'd have as a man, but I recognize that for the unproductive thought it is. My thoughts on gender now are that it's largely a set of social expectations, and for me, trying to become a man was just conforming to female gender roles with extra, complicated steps.
I don't regret transitioning because I never medically transitioned. My regret is more about the time I spent lost in that headspace, thinking changing my identity was the solution to my self-esteem issues. I'm grateful I found my way out before making any permanent changes.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teen Years | Experienced significant puberty discomfort and low self-esteem, began to feel like an "ugly girl" with a somewhat masculine face. |
| Late Teens/Early 20s | Felt influenced by misogynistic societal expectations and began to identify with being a man as a form of escapism. |
| Mid-20s | Realized the desire to transition was rooted in psychological defense and unproductive thinking, not a true identity. Never pursued hormones or surgery. |
| Present (Mid/Late 20s) | Accepted myself as a masculine/androgynous woman. Learned to style myself in ways that suit my body and feel authentic without changing who I am. |
Top Comments by /u/bleep_v:
It absolutely is not. A man with a hormonal imbalance doesn't suddenly want to birth a child. A woman with a hormonal imbalance doesn't suddenly desire to impregnate someone. That is pure fetishism, be it for sexual reasons or due to some kind of traumatic experience that led the person to obsess over the biological reality and the social role of the other gender.
You look like a high fashion model—slightly ambiguous, but in a way that makes one go, "I may not be able to tell whether that is a woman or a man from the first glance; what I am sure of, however, is that I'm already head over heels in love with them."
But that's just judging from a single photograph! I think it's easier to tell a person's sex irl, or at least from a larger collection of images.
Sorry, I can't articulate my thoughts as quite eloquently as I would like to, but what I wish to convey is that you're simply a very beautiful woman. I wouldn't be surprised if you told me you were a model. Your looks remind me a bit of the actress Katy O'Brian, and your facial structure isn't that dissimilar from that of, say, Angelina Jolie.
To me, you look like a woman, just a somewhat masculine or androgynous one. :)
If I had to “dissect” your physique in search of gender giveaways, I’d point to the roundedness of your facial features and limbs, softer skin, thinner neck and smaller feet.
You have absolutely gorgeous eyes and an intense, magnetic gaze. Might also be the intensity that some confuse for maleness, but I genuinely hope that’s not it. Generally speaking, I suspect that people who assume detrans women to be MtFs do so because of the atypically deep voice.
This. I also want to add that for men (and, by the same logic, for transmen), femininity is a choice. As a woman, you are expected to conform to femininity; as a man, you can choose to play with aspects of it.
I suppose this could also be a kind of psychological defense. I myself am quite uncomfortable in clothing that is overtly signaling to the outside world the fact that I am female. I suspect that many of these women deal with similar feelings. And when you convince yourself that you're actually a man, you create an illusion of being safe from male attention, and you're free to dress or behave in whatever way you like.
You look stunning in the second dress!
May I suggest looking into Kibbe body types? I am not particularly well-versed in the system, but I'd guess that you are somewhere in the Classic/Natural area (do not quote me on that, though, haha!).
I think something like the Kibbe approach might give you some pointers as to what styles suit you best. E.g., the clean, bold lines of the second look suit you better than the soft, 'frilly' details of the first one.
You look beautiful as is, and you're instantly recognisable as a woman. :)
But if you want to feel more feminine, you could try to take inspiration from 'girlier' alternative styles. Do you follow any alternative women? See what it is exactly that you like about their style; try incorporating those elements into your own. (I also suggest checking out Silkymochi on YouTube. She does great videos on 'dark feminine' aesthetics.)
Honestly, you don't even have to grow out your hair. I have a feeling that you would absolutely rock a pixie cut—you'd just need to pay a little more attention to how you style your hair.
But overall, 'femininity' largely implies performative effort, so if you want to appear more feminine, you simply need to enhance what you already have. The tiniest little bit of makeup, a little more attention to your hair, and clothes that are more 'aesthetics over function.'
Didn't end up transitioning, but being an ugly girl definitely contributed to the desire. I have always mostly ignored my body, but having a somewhat masculine face kind of caused me to identify with being a man (beside all the trappings of growing up female in a misogynistic society).
I do still suffer bouts of dysphoria due to the occasional woe-is-me sentiment that I would have been more confident and socially successful as a slightly weird-looking but nonetheless handsome man than an outright ugly woman (but that's an uproductive thought process).
I like the song Seven Screws by Einstürzende Neubauten. Its most obvious themes are search for identity and transformation. The lyrics are very much open to interpretation and can also be read as "pro-transition," but that's the beauty of art—you can make it your own.
I reassemble all the parts
I rearrange the alphabet
And out of the sea of possibilities
I draw myself anew
Oh, definitely! I am talking about the logic behind the actions of women specifically, though. Someone else in the thread rightly referred to this as something like conforming to female gender roles with extra steps. What men go through is obviously different because they are men—not women.