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Reddit user /u/bloodm000n's Detransition Story

Detransitioned: 22
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
depression
influenced online
got bottom surgery
now infertile
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
sexuality changed
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.

The user's posts show a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally complex narrative of detransition/desistance, including specific details about social interactions, medical effects (like T and hysterectomy considerations), and evolving personal feelings over time. The language is natural, and the emotional tone—frustration, awkwardness, introspection—aligns with the genuine experiences of detransitioners.

About me

I was born female and my discomfort with feminine expectations led me to transition. I took testosterone and had a hysterectomy, believing it was my only solution. I now live with permanent changes like a deeper voice and infertility. I've realized medical transition wasn't the right path and it sadly isolated me from others. I just want to be seen as myself, without any labels.

My detransition story

My whole journey with gender has been confusing, and honestly, pretty painful. I was born female, and from a young age, I never felt like I fit in with the expectations for girls. I hated the idea of wearing dresses or makeup. In high school, I had friends who would give a tomboy we knew "makeovers," saying she'd look prettier if she was more feminine. At the time, I didn't see the problem, but now I realize how shitty and pressuring that was. That discomfort with being forced into a feminine box was a big part of what started everything for me.

I decided to transition from female to male. I think a lot of my feelings were just a deep discomfort with puberty and the body I had; I really hated my breasts. I also had very low self-esteem and I think I was influenced a lot by what I saw online. It felt like an escape from being me. I started taking testosterone.

Being on T was a strange experience. It changed my sex drive completely. I had no attraction to men before, but on T, I did. Looking back, I think being with men was a form of self-harm, a fetish where I knew I didn't actually like them but made myself do things anyway. Now that I've been off T for long enough, I have no attraction to males again. My sexuality seems to have changed based on my hormones.

I also had a full hysterectomy. At the time, I was completely convinced I needed it. I felt an incredible amount of dysphoria having a uterus and I wanted to stop my periods. I don't necessarily regret it because it solved that problem, but I didn't know then that there were less invasive options, like a tubal ligation, that could have also stopped my periods. I am now infertile because of it.

I eventually realized that living as a man wasn't the answer for me either and I stopped testosterone. This detransition has been its own kind of difficult. My voice is permanently deeper and I have a shitty hairline from the testosterone. People usually think I'm female until they hear my voice, and then they get confused. I've tried voice training to sound more feminine, but it gives me dysphoria; it feels like "sissification" and I hate the idea of putting on a fake, high voice. I like sounding masculine, but people read too much into it.

Socially, it's been a mess. The people who knew me before I transitioned went back to using "she" for me instantly. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if they were always using "she" behind my back. It's weird because a lot of strangers still read me as male. It's actually awkward when acquaintances who knew me from before still force themselves to call me "he"; I feel too awkward to tell them they don't have to pretend anymore.

My name is a whole other issue. I changed my name when I transitioned and I can't imagine ever going back to my birth name. It feels like a weird double life. I worry about the future, that I'll have to lead two separate lives where coworkers and friends know me by one name and my family calls me by another. I feel bad that it might upset my mom, but my comfort matters more than her potential guilt. I've never found a name that I truly feel like "fits" me. I'm just me, not a name.

I feel like transitioning ultimately made my social problems worse. Before, people saw me as a masculine girl. I was a little odd, but I was still included. Feminine women still liked me. Transitioning sent me over the edge. Now, it seems like everyone I knew before avoids me and probably thinks I'm completely crazy. I haven't made many friends since being on T; it seems like people instantly dislike me now.

I'm trying to find my place now, hoping to make more gay friends. I feel like my gender confusion turns off regular gay people who might assume I'm a trans woman pretending to be a lesbian or something. My thoughts on gender now are that it's incredibly complicated. I don't think medical transition was the right path for me. I have regrets about the permanent changes, like my voice and infertility, and how it isolated me from people. I just want to be seen as me, without all the labels and confusion.

Age Event
Teen Years Felt strong discomfort with puberty and feminine expectations. Hated breasts.
20 Started taking testosterone (T).
21 Had a full hysterectomy.
22 Stopped taking testosterone. Realized living as a man wasn't right for me.

Top Comments by /u/bloodm000n:

12 comments • Posting since May 13, 2022
Reddit user bloodm000n (detrans female) comments on the difficulty of being gendered correctly due to a masculine voice, rejecting voice training as dysphoria-inducing and considering a return to testosterone.
12 pointsNov 24, 2022
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It’s my voice mostly, but people have told me I have a unique face too that’s not super male or super female. I have a shitty hairline. Everyone normally thinks I’m female til they hear my voice though but I can’t change it.

I’ve tried “voice training” but fuck that. It gives me too much dysphoria and I don’t think I should have to pretend to have this high fake voice. It feels like “sissification” tbh lol

I like sounding masculine but people read too much into it. I wish I could just be seen as a guy. I’ve thought about starting T again since I’ll never pass as cis female again

Reddit user bloodm000n (detrans female) explains how transitioning worsened her social isolation, contrasting the mild judgment she faced as a GNC woman with the complete avoidance and dislike she experiences after taking testosterone.
12 pointsNov 24, 2022
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Yes! I feel like transitioning made this problem 100x worse for me. Like before, people would act like I was a little “odd” for dressing masc, but I was still seen as just one of the girls. I was still included, and femme women still liked me but maybe thought I was a little weird idk.

Yeah GNC people get a lot of shit though. I also remember getting this vibe like everyone was hoping me being a butch/masc was a phase that I’d “mature out of” or something. I’d get comments like “you looked better with long hair” or “why don’t you wear makeup anymore?” and shit like that.

But transitioning just sent me over the edge where everyone I knew before just avoids me now and thinks I’m completely crazy or something. And I haven’t made v many friends since I’ve been on T. It seems like people instantly dislike me now.

Reddit user bloodm000n (detrans female) comments on the awkwardness of her family not using her legal name, explaining she may address it directly if she gets fed up, especially around extended family during holidays.
10 pointsOct 24, 2022
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So this is a good point… I thought it would be obvious that I was uncomfortable by it because I literally chose a different legal name, but maybe not. Maybe if I get fed up enough I’ll say that. It’s kinda an awkward topic for me so I wouldn’t bring up out of nowhere. Luckily I don’t have to see extended family except on some holidays, it feels like it’s always the worst there.

Reddit user bloodm000n (detrans female) comments on the loss of uterine orgasms post-hysterectomy, explaining the deep, pelvic sensation and reflecting on her choice driven by dysphoria.
9 pointsNov 22, 2022
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Yes, and I’m guessing it varies woman to woman. Maybe not everyone experiences uterine contractions but they feel very deep and coming from the pelvis.

At the time I was super convinced I NEEDED to have a hysto. I felt an incredible amount of dysphoria having a uterus. So maybe I made the “right” choice in some way? Birth control or an implant was never something I wanted to do, so in a way I’m glad. But I didn’t know tubal ligation or some less invasive procedure could give me no periods too..

Reddit user bloodm000n (detrans female) explains how testosterone-induced libido led to a temporary attraction to men that she describes as a form of self-harm, which subsided after stopping HRT.
9 pointsJun 23, 2022
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Yes that happened to me. Now that I’ve been off T long enough I have no attraction to males again.

Idrk “why” but it’s true that men are into more fetishes etc probably because their sex drive is so high. If I was constantly horny like I was on T naturally, perhaps I’d be into males?? But for me being with men was mostly a “self harming” type “fetish” where I knew I didn’t like men but made myself do stuff with them.

Reddit user bloodm000n (detrans female) comments on the difficulty of stating she is female without being mistaken for a trans woman, wishing for a way to clarify she is biologically female.
8 pointsMay 13, 2022
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While I get the saying “I’m female” thing I know everyone would assume I’m a trans woman then. I wish there was a way to say I’m bio female or even I’m female with a hormonal condition or something. I know I shouldn’t have to explain it but personally I’d feel more comfortable if they knew I’m bio female and not just “want to be female”… and thanks I’ll look into it

Reddit user bloodm000n (detrans female) comments on the difficulty of having a chosen name for their public life and a birth name used by family, describing it as living a "weird double life" that could prevent them from introducing people to their family in the future.
7 pointsOct 23, 2022
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Yes I feel ya. I’m in a similar place though I can’t imagine going back to my birth name ever. It just feels like a weird double life.

I’m just imagining how weird it’s gonna be 10-20 years down the road when everyone in my life knows me as one name (professionals/coworkers, neighbors, friends, etc), and then my family calls me something else. It’s almost like I’ll have to lead two separate lives and never be able to introduce anyone to my family or something

Reddit user bloodm000n (detrans female) explains how being asked for pronouns was a source of distress because it signaled she wasn't passing as male, even during her transition.
5 pointsMay 14, 2022
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Yes. I’m kinda split on how I feel about it overall. If someone has a “confusing” appearance or maybe they really want to be seen as one gender for example, people asking pronouns might help them and make them feel really welcome.

But for me it’s always been a source of distress. Even when I was transitioning ftm, when someone asked my pronouns I knew I was failing at passing as male.

Reddit user bloodm000n (detrans female) comments on the awkwardness of acquaintances using "he/him" pronouns after detransition, noting that close friends reverted to "she/her" instantly while strangers still perceive her as male.
4 pointsMay 16, 2022
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I feel like the people who knew me before, went back to “she” instantly. Wouldn’t be surprised if they were always using she behind my back. It’s weird tho because a lot of strangers still read me as male

It’s awkward to me when acquaintances who “knew me before” still force themselves to call me he, and I feel too awkward to be like.. hey I don’t go by that anymore so you don’t have to pretend anymore

Reddit user bloodm000n (detrans female) discusses the pressure to conform to feminine beauty standards and the desire for community with other gay people who understand her gender confusion.
4 pointsJun 17, 2022
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Yes hoping I get more gay friends this year! I feel like my gender confusion kinda turns off regular gay people who assume I’m a trans woman pretending to be a lesbian or something.

I feel ya on the not wanting to be around straight women. I have no problem with them loving dresses makeup whatever, but just not when they impose that shit on me (or anyone else who doesn’t want it).

I still remember in high school I had friends who always tried to give “makeovers” to a tomboy (not me) saying she’d look prettier with makeup/feminine clothes and at the time I didn’t really have a problem with them saying that. Now I realize how shitty it was, and the worst part is for most people was their stupid gendered expectations didn’t end in high school