This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a fake account. The user demonstrates a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal narrative that aligns with the experiences of many detransitioners and desisters.
Key points supporting authenticity:
- Personal Narrative: The user shares a detailed and consistent personal history of transitioning (starting at 20, on T for 3 years, detransitioning at 23) and the reasons behind it (internalized misogyny, social alienation, changing perspective on gender).
- Complex and Nuanced Views: Their stance is not a simple caricature. They express that transition was right for them for a time and may be right for some, while also being highly critical of gender ideology and medicalization for young people. This complexity is common in authentic detransitioner accounts.
- Consistent Ideology: Their arguments consistently return to core themes like internalized misogyny, the social construction of gender, and brain development not finishing until the mid-20s.
- Engagement and Advice: The comments are directed at helping other users, offering specific advice, and engaging in complex debates, which is typical of a real, invested person.
The passion and criticism expressed are well within the bounds of a genuine detransitioner who has experienced significant harm and holds strong opinions on the subject.
About me
I started feeling out of place as a girl when I was nine, and learning about being transgender at fifteen felt like the answer I needed. I lived as a man for three years on testosterone, but my dysphoria suddenly vanished when I was twenty-three. I realized my struggle was never with my female body, but with society's sexism and my own difficulty accepting I was a lesbian. I don't regret my transition because it gave me a unique perspective, but I now see that true peace comes from self-acceptance, not changing your body. Today, I'm a happy, gender non-conforming woman who understands that my worth was never defined by my gender.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated, and it really came down to me figuring out that my feelings weren't about being born in the wrong body, but about growing up as a girl who didn't fit in and hated the limitations placed on women.
I first started feeling out of place with being a girl around the age of 9. I was a tomboy and felt really different from other girls. I thought they were all gentle and kind, and I wasn't like that. I felt alienated from my own sex. I learned about transgenderism when I was 15, and it felt like an answer. It clicked for me. I thought, "This is it. I'm actually a man." I came out as trans at 15 but couldn't start hormones until I was 20.
I was on testosterone for three years, from age 20 to 23. In the beginning, it felt great. It felt like a solution to all my problems. I passed as a man and lived as one. But after those three years, something shifted in me almost overnight. The crippling dysphoria I had lived with for years just... went away. I realized that a lot of my desire to be a man was rooted in internalized misogyny and internalized homophobia. I'm a lesbian, and I think I struggled to accept that because of the way women, and lesbians specifically, are viewed.
I also realized that a huge part of my discomfort was with society's expectations of women, not with my body itself. I hated the idea that my worth was measured by my attractiveness, that I was expected to be submissive or a caregiver. I thought being a man was the only way to escape that and be seen as a person first. Living as a man did give me a sense of anonymity; people stopped judging me based on how I looked and I was just "another guy." But I lost something huge: the deep, mutual connection I had with other women. The way women relate to each other is different, and I became an outsider to that.
I don't regret transitioning. As hard as that might be to understand, I think it might have saved my life at the time because my dysphoria was so severe. It also gave me a perspective I wouldn't have otherwise—I got to see how men are treated and how women are treated from both sides. But I would never encourage someone else to do it. It should be an absolute last resort after trying everything else, especially therapy to work through underlying issues like trauma, internalized homophobia, or sexism.
I now see gender as a social construct with no real meaning. The idea that you need to have a surgery or take hormones to be your true self is flawed. For me, the goal became self-acceptance, not changing my body. I'm a gender non-conforming lesbian, and that's okay. I don't identify with any gender, really. I use she/her pronouns for convenience, but they don't hold deep meaning for me.
The permanent changes from testosterone are something I have to live with, like a deeper voice and some body hair. I lost my singing voice, which I do miss. My health was also starting to suffer near the end; I was dealing with vaginal atrophy from the T. I'm glad I stopped when I did.
My main message to anyone questioning is to look inward. Ask why you feel dysphoric. Did these feelings start at puberty? Are they related to trauma? Are you trying to escape sexism or homophobia? Your brain isn't even fully developed until your mid-20s, so if you're young, please give yourself time. I thought I was sure at 20, but by 23, my brain had matured and my perspective completely changed.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 9 | First recall wanting to be a boy. Felt like a tomboy and different from other girls. |
| 15 | Learned about transgenderism and came out as a trans man. |
| 20 | Started testosterone (T) hormone therapy. |
| 23 | Stopped testosterone after 3 years. Dysphoria faded and I began to detransition. Realized my struggles were largely due to internalized misogyny and homophobia. |
| 23 (Present) | Living as a detransitioned, gender non-conforming lesbian. Focused on self-acceptance. |
Top Comments by /u/blthrn:
Most transitioners are not our allies and many are vehemently detransphobic because they find our rhetoric hateful. Even if you're pro-trans it's never enough. Don't you dare voice your concerns about the trans movement and their medicalisation of dysphoria, ever. Maybe you should've taken personal responsibility for your bad decisions sweaty uwu 🤪🤢
“Most of the regulars in that sub are actually just cis women who never transitioned".
Completely deluded.
Imagine being so insecure in your trans identity that you see fit to erase the existence of detransitioners. And to want to take down the biggest detrans community on the face of the internet — a community but a fraction the size of the hundreds, if not thousands of trans ones — because of a few statements that deviate from the TRA-mandated “b-but transition good!”.
There was nothing transphobic about your original post. Can I see why a deeply insecure trans person who comes to this sub, sees the thread and the UVs might think otherwise? Sure, but to brand the entire sub a “hate sub” and incite Reddit to take it down? Not only that, but to tout this idea that we're all mostly non-detrans cis women, as if this sub is some insidious plot to spread TERF rhetoric, as if our lived experiences aren't valid? Yeah, these people really want detransitioners to be miserable.
If you don't experience gender dysphoria and you feel more at ease presenting as a femme gay guy, chances are you've answered your own question. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being gender NC! Whatever the case, I'd urge you to quit hormones asap until you've figured yourself out. The sooner, the better. Best of luck.
You're right. The comparison between the genitalia of trans people and that of their opposite sex makes it abundantly clear that if there's one way in which they'll never pass, that is it. You can alter basically any facet of your appearance if you can afford it, but no amount of money will give you the genitals/reproductive system of the opposite sex. Height is another obvious one, but there are still some very short men and very tall women out there, so the line is more blurred — whereas penises are distinctly male and vaginas are distinctly female. It's not always an easy truth to confront.
Obsessive thoughts. Crossdressing doesn't automatically equal AGP, nor does it have to be sexual in nature. Your sexuality sounds very innocuous, if anything. Not going to be a naysayer, but I'd still caution you away from AGP-esque porn, especially if you're the type who consumes a lot of porn overall. No point in getting jaded and having to go deeper down that rabbit hole.
Why is this being downvoted? OP should see a therapist, even if not with the intent to transition, at the very least they might benefit from talking to someone.
Whether you think transgenderism is valid or grounded in biology is completely irrelevant. The question should always be whether you would benefit from transitioning long-term. I don't know how old you are, but considering the brain has matured sufficiently at ca. 25, there's a chance you'll simply outgrow your dysphoria. I'd not even entertain the thought of changing my gender until then.
Not to be a radical centrist but you need to stop interacting with the fringe anti/pro-trans circles. It's a cesspit of too many opinions and you don't need to let either extreme influence you right now. Being trans or not trans carries no inherent moral value. It's not good or bad, it just is. Figure these things out for yourself.
You should. There's no point in keeping up the facade. It can be exhausting to return to you, but screw it, keep your chin up and endure the initial process knowing that it'll get better. Your physical and mental health will improve, your family will feel relieved, and your friends... well, if they leave because you detransition, were they ever really your friends? Many trans people, unfortunately, have a cultlike mindset. Your friends may not be like that, but if they're deeply invested in the queer movement, chances are they will reject and oust you. Whatever, life goes on.
Moreover, that thing you've heard regarding people discovering their inner woman through porn? Complete rubbish peddled by groomers. No one actually discovers their 'womanhood' through sissy porn. While I know this is a question post and you intend no harm or offence, please do consider how this line of reasoning might come across not only to natal women, but also to any transitioner, current, former or would-be; or any other person who has to struggle with dysphoric thoughts on a daily basis.
If it sounds too ridiculous to be true, it probably is.
Big mood. My country is known to gatekeep more than places like Sweden and the US — still, not once was the topic of internalised sexism brought up. I transed at 20, didn't have any trans friends, didn't consume any trans content and never even considered myself part of the LGBT or “queer” community. I was really only being influenced by the blatant lie of the magical gender brain, enabling me to think I was in fact a straight man on the inside, and not just a dysphoric lesbian.
Now I'm of the opinion that transition shouldn't even be a thing prior to age 25, but say that in trans circles and you'll be accused of condemning dysphoric youth to the 41%.
I think that's true for a lot of heterosexual women. Straight FtMs usually have other reasons for turning to self-identifying as gay men, hence we don't really see the same predatory behaviour with trans “lesbians” who demand that same-sex attracted women sleep with them. Similar behaviour does exist in some natal women (on Twitter, no less...) though it seems rare by comparison for females to enter male homosexual spaces and make similar demands. At least that's been my observation.