You are identifying as another gender and acting in a way that you identify as how the other gender acts. If someone thinks themselves or someone else “acts like a woman”, they are stereotyping whether or not the individual in question identities as trans.

For me, I used to identify as non-binary, but I was considering presenting and identifying as female, and I was considering getting on estrogen. I rethought my decision, and I came to terms that it was gonna make my life way harder. Even though I have gender dysphoria and wish I was born as a woman, I realized that no matter what, I was always gonna know I was born as a male. Therefore, my gender dysphoria wasn’t going to go away with transition. Because of this, I decided to leave the trans community completely. In all honesty, I wish I had never discovered the trans community to begin with, as it created a lot of difficulties in my life. However, I’m very proud of myself for not making an irrational decision. Learning to accept yourself as who you were born as is the optimal mindset. I hope that helps, as you have a long life ahead of you. If you detransition sooner rather than later, you will be able to look back on this period of your life as “just a phase”. That would be my suggestion.

Many of the people in the trans community I’ve talked to feels this way. Transitioning socially or medically doesn’t make you forget that you were born a woman. Even if it relieves of the dysphoria, it is extremely difficult to forget about your biological sex. This feeling that you are “faking it” will likely never go away. Keep that in mind.

One thing to do is focus on self-acceptance. Unfortunately, we live in a society that has toxic ways of judging women and men - women are portrayed in the media as sex objects, and men are portrayed as weak if they aren’t getting laid a bunch. You have to learn to accept yourself and your life without comparing it to others around you. It’s easier said than done.

If no one on the left will platform us, then that is their problem. If we need to make a dirty alliance with the right wing in order to push back against the insanity, it is something that has to be done. The western left has abandoned the working class to begin with, and it has made culture war lunacy their main issue. I am a Marxist, actually, and even I still believe that detransitioners going on right wing media is usually a good and necessary thing.

I have many of the same mental health issues as you (PTSD, potential BPD or bipolar, autism spectrum, ADHD), and I was identifying as non-binary for a year, and then during a mental health crisis at a psych hospital, I decided I wanted to be a trans woman and go on hormones. No pushback at all from my psych hospital, no pushback from my new gender doctor, and if not for me coming to my senses, I would have started. The fact that the medical establishment lets people who are going through clear mental health problems do irreversible alterations to their bodies so easily makes me suspicious of the narrative as a whole. Unfortunately, doubting it at all gets you abandoned by those from the community that initially love bombed you. I would also be willing to DM about any of these issues, as I am still grappling with it all as well. Hopefully it gets better for us all.

Situations like yours is what makes this issue of detransitioners way more complicated. People who identify as trans may feel pressured to continue identifying as trans because they don’t want to feel stupid or silly for getting other people to go along with it. The reality is that the real stupid/silly behavior is transitioning when it doesn’t even benefit you. I totally understand how it will make certain interactions in your life awkward. However, transitioning will make your life incredibly complicated. There will be people (like your mom) who accept you, but just identifying as your biological sex is always going to be far easier. I would say that even if transitioning helps with your dysphoria, this is the case. You are young and not medically transitioning yet, and it would benefit you to learn how to be comfortable with your biological sex sooner rather than later so you can live your life to the fullest.

In my case, being invited into the trans community when I was identifying as non-binary (as a straight gender nonconforming male) ultimately led to me thinking I was actually trans. I think the non-binary label is used for people who do not fit the standard gender expression, and like you said, it forces those who are male and female to be in even more of a box in terms of gender expression. I remember people in the “woke” community disliking all men in general even more when non-binary became a thing because the assumption was that the only “good” males were not actually males.

I have lurked for awhile on this sub. I thought it was finally time to share my full analysis of what has transpired the last few years. And yes, it does feel like wrong think can get you crucified. But it also feels like this “woke ideology” has captured the corporate world, as it improves your ability to be hired in some areas (especially academics) if you score woke points. How did this happen, and why are the supposedly smartest people in our society (university graduated people who studied things like gender) embrace the most radical ideas in gender theory with open arms? Is this silly or is it a sign of a society improving morally? It’s hard to tell for me.

Am I just nonbinary?

You aren’t anything besides a biological male. Everything else is just a label you are choosing to apply to yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that, but the labels such as trans and non-binary are not innate, and there is no objective way to determine if you are any of these identities.