This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "bornonthetide" appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The user shares detailed, personal, and emotionally charged experiences about their own transition and detransition, which is consistent with a genuine detransitioner. The language is nuanced, includes self-reflection, and shows a clear, evolving perspective over time. The passion and occasional frustration expressed align with the expected sentiment from someone who has experienced harm from gender transition.
About me
I was deeply unhappy and began transitioning from female to male, thinking it was the answer. For a while, it felt right, but a nagging feeling remained that my transition had become an idol, replacing my faith and family. I started questioning everything, especially after feeling responsible for a young person who rushed into transition after meeting me. I ultimately decided to detransition, which was difficult, but I’m now trying to rebuild my life. I regret not dealing with my underlying depression and anxiety first, and I believe finding peace with my birth gender leads to a happier life.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated. It started from a place of deep unhappiness. Looking back, I see now that I had a lot of trauma and low self-esteem. I never felt like I fit in, and I think a lot of people who transition have seen hell in their lives; it’s rarely someone from a perfectly healthy background.
I was born female, and I started my transition to male. For a while, it felt like the answer. I had a friend going through something similar; he was born male but had told his mom he wanted to be a girl at 14. We buddied up and helped each other through the process. For a time, I was happy with about 90% of my transition. I was passable and it felt like things were working.
But there was always this nagging 10% that wouldn't go away. It was a deep, unsettled feeling that made it hard to enjoy the parts that were going well. A big turning point for me was listening to a pastor named Tim Keller talk about worshiping false gods. He said that whatever you think you can't live without, whatever would make your life unbelievable if it was taken away, is what you're really worshiping. I realized my transition had become that for me. I was living for my transition, not for my faith or my family. I had been raised with a religious background, and that started to call me back.
I began to question everything. I started to see that the trans movement felt incomplete to me. It seemed like it was missing data and that maybe it had gone too far in some places. I saw a young person, just 17, who saw transition as a possible outcome for his life after meeting me, and he jumped in with both feet. He ended up with serious problems, including HIV and drug use. I felt a terrible sense of responsibility for that. It made me question if we were all encouraging each other down a path without fully considering the consequences.
I also struggled with the idea that maybe my discomfort started with puberty. I hated my breasts and the changes my body was going through. But I’ve come to believe that every cell in your body has a blueprint, and you can’t change that fundamental reality.
Eventually, I made the very difficult decision to detransition. It was hard because you have to admit you might have been wrong about such a huge part of your life. It takes time to get your body back to what it should be. My skin, for example, was definitely better on estrogen; it was more plump and rejuvenated itself better. Testosterone made it oilier, and working a manual job outdoors made it worse.
I don’t regret my entire transition because I learned a lot about myself, but I do have regrets. I regret not dealing with my underlying issues first—the depression, the anxiety, the low self-esteem. I think if there's any way a person can learn to be happy with their birth gender, that is worth it. It’s a happier life in the long run.
Now, I’m trying to rebuild. I miss the times when online communities felt like safe places to be honest without venom or name-calling. I’m a gentle person and I just want a space to share and heal.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 14 | (Not specified) | My friend first told his mom he wanted to be a girl. |
| (Not specified) | (Not specified) | I began my social and medical transition from female to male. |
| (Not specified) | 2019 | I was deep in my transition, questioning it, and began the process of detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/bornonthetide:
I really miss the times back when this sub was just like a safe place and we would all say what we wanted and people were less venomous.
I post dumb stuff sometimes, maybe even say the wrong thing, the last thing I want is some snappy burn about my cognitive ability being slow or whatever.
I'm a very gentle person and have no place to put malevolence, just no defence for it.
I feel a lot of the people who come here aren't even trans but kinda rad fems, which I'm more than willing to share space with and hear their point of view, but the name calling and them trying to change every other culture or view point them come across makes it kinda hard to be here and honest.
I was happy with 90% of my transition, however, I had this nagging 10% that was so bad, (and my transition was as good as can be expected in terms of being passable and such) that made the other 90% unenjoyable.
I watched this pastor talk about how to tell if I was "worshiping a false God" Tim Keller was his name and he said, whatever your life would suck without, if it made your life unbelievable without it, would be what you are worshiping. I knew I was living for my transition not God, and I was a good person and wanted to do the right thing for my family and such.
The number of receptors being fulfilled during puberty are directly proportional to the number that remain during adulthood.
I'm all for healthy male and female expressions, but every cell in your body also contains the data for your kidneys too. And you are not a kidney.
I met this one kid (like 17) that saw i was transgender and it was a possible outcome for his life, he like jumped in with both feet and really messed up his life, HIV positive now, had a job and like 6 years of unemployment, heavy drug use. i feel bad too!
I've never met anyone (although I'm sure a few examples exist) who had a healthy environment from childhood on, who transitions. It's normally people who have seen hell.
I've transitioned back, it's hard because you have to admit you might have been wrong about things. It takes time to get the body back to what it should be.
I say if you see a window to go back, that's a very good time to do it. If there's any way you can be happy with your birth gender or think you can learn to be happy with your birth gender, it's worth it to have a happy life.
Best of luck however you choose.
I didn't mean to illicit this type of feelings in you with my post, in so sorry. Wanna be friends? Maybe we can get through it together. Things are never as bad as they seem, and you can rebuild more than you know. Hope babe, hope is required. The Unknown always has a little more light than you think if you keep walking. I'm praying for you. I pray God can help.
He told me he's organ is only for show. Poor fella, strangely enough he told his mom he wanted to be a boy at 14 and well puberty and stuff, you can't keep a non functioning female vage a secret. Mom had to spill the beans, he had no memory of anything other than being a girl and I was in the process of my own transition my self, so we kinda buddyed up and helped each other transition.
Have you ever considered that every 5 year old who says they want to be crossed sex, might not need to transition to be happy with their life? Like I get it gender dysphoria is real, but maybe the trans moment has some excesses in places? I don't want to be a jerk, I want happy people with tons of choices, but you're born in America, no matter what trunp does you will have options. In Russia, or Nigeria that would-not-be be the case, and I don't see one person thankful or even put the kind of suffering much of the world experiences? Trump might not be perfect, but I really think the trans thing has gone too far in places? Jazz jennings, isn't even going to be able to have srs from the puberty blockers? The movement is just, incomplete and missing data, but everyone from the left acts like it's all figured out and it isn't. The worst thing that will happen to a trans person is they might not be a protected class for his i years. You might be able to lose your job over it. That's it, that's what has made you demonize him?
If you can show me a woman who wants to apprentice as a mason, work for minimum wage in the hot sun and cold winter for no insurance being peers with men who are convicts or don't speak English I would love to meet her. The miracle is that you can even find a man who is willing to do that type of thing.
Having been both, my skin was more plump, and rejuvenated itself better on estrogen. On testestone, it make more oil, and most guys jobs have you out in the field for hours and hours and no ability to wash it until your shift was over. I know for w fact that my skunked better on estrogen.