This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "brassbrwn" appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The comments display:
- A consistent, personal narrative of detransition.
- Appropriate emotional depth, including pain, anxiety, and hope.
- Specific, lived experiences (e.g., being on T for 6 years, top surgery, voice changes).
- A natural, conversational writing style with empathy and support for others.
The account exhibits the passion and personal stake expected from a genuine detransitioner.
About me
I started transitioning to male at 18 because I was deeply unhappy and thought it would fix my life. I lived as a man for six years and had surgery, which I don't regret, but I eventually realized I was using transition to escape my real problems. When I stopped taking hormones at 24, it was like a fog lifted and I started to feel better. Now I'm a woman again, learning to accept my changed body and working on my self-esteem instead of trying to change who I am. It's been a difficult journey, but I'm finally moving forward.
My detransition story
My name isn't important, but my story is. I’m writing this to share my experience with transition and detransition in my own words, hoping it might help someone else feel less alone.
My whole journey started from a place of deep pain and not fitting in. In high school, I was a complete outcast. People thought I was an insane freak, and I graduated without any friends. I felt so different from everyone else and had really low self-esteem. Looking back, I think a lot of my desire to transition was a form of escapism. I was deeply unhappy and thought becoming someone else—a man—would fix everything and give me a fresh start. I was also influenced by what I saw online; it seemed like a clear solution to the discomfort I felt.
I started identifying as a trans man and began taking testosterone. I was on T for about six years. I don't regret everything about my medical transition. I actually love my voice after being on testosterone; it’s deep and I really like how it sounds. I also had top surgery, and I don't regret that either, even though it sometimes gives me anxiety about dating and how potential partners might see my body.
But the doubts were always there, brewing under the surface. I was afraid and in a lot of pain, wondering if I had made a huge mistake. The turning point for me was when I just stopped taking my hormones. I went cold turkey. It was scary, but I immediately started to feel better about myself. It was like a fog lifted. Stopping T was the beginning of my detransition journey.
Now, I’m figuring out what it means to be a woman again, but with a body that’s been permanently changed. I sometimes feel sad that because of my voice, other women might not see me as one of them. And while I’m okay with my flat chest, I do worry it will put off people I might want to date. But I’m trying to adopt the mindset that my body is just my body, and anyone who has a problem with it isn’t the right person for me.
I still struggle with what people think of me, especially since I live in a small city. It makes me feel sick to think that everyone from my past probably knows about my transition and will find out about my detransition, and I worry about the negative things they’ll say. But I’m trying to let that go. I know why I made the choices I made at the time, and that’s what matters. I’ve always been a bit of a freak, and that’s okay.
My thoughts on gender now are complicated. I don’t have all the answers. I just know that for me, identifying as a man was a way to cope with deep-seated issues like depression, anxiety, and not liking myself. I needed to work on my self-esteem, not change my body. I benefited from stepping away from the affirming path; stopping hormones was a form of non-affirming care that ultimately helped me.
I don’t regret my transition entirely because it got me to where I am now, and I’ve learned so much about myself. But I do have regrets about not addressing my underlying mental health struggles first. My journey has been incredibly hard, and there were times I thought about suicide and self-harm. But it has gotten better. The lows are fewer and farther between. I’m still on this path, but I’m moving forward.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on the ages I can remember or infer:
| My Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| Teenage years | ~2008-2014 | Felt like an outcast, severe social anxiety and low self-esteem. |
| 18 | ~2014 | Began identifying as a trans man and started testosterone (T). |
| 18-24 | 2014-2020 | Lived as a trans man for approximately 6 years. |
| 24 | 2020 | Stopped testosterone cold turkey, beginning my detransition. |
| 24 | 2020 | Began the process of re-identifying as a woman and sharing my story online. |
Top Comments by /u/brassbrwn:
It will get better, I know that's so cliché but I'm serious. When I started this journey for myself I though often about suicide and self harm, I was so depressed. It's taken months and months and I'm still on this journey but I think of those things less and less as time goes on, my lows are further apart and less bad every time. It will be okay, you will figure this out, and in the meantime you always have this place to talk freely and openly. Much love, you're not alone in this.
I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. Maybe take a break from hormones and see how that feels? That's how I started my detrans journey. I had all these doubts and fear and all this pain, so I just stopped taking my hormones, and I have felt so much better about myself since. That might not happen for you and that's okay! You can always go back on HRT, but you'll never know how it feels to stop unless you try. I want you to know you are still worthy and beautiful and wonderful with the body you have now. I had top surgery too, and while I don't regret it at all I do have anxiety about it putting off potential dates. But I guess it's like any body insecurity - our bodies are the way they are, we can learn to love them and people who have a problem with our body clearly aren't right for us anyway! It's tough. There's no easy answers, but I agree with your mum - take it slow. Listen to your gut and instinct, look to your future and think about how you want it to go and what you want for yourself. I promise you will figure it out and you will be okay, it takes time and it won't be easy, but you are clearly a resilient person and you will make it through! Lots of love to you!
You're so welcome! Thank you so much, and right back at you if you need to talk I'm here. It's a unique place to be and we all need to stick together!
I soooo feel that, I'm considering making a lil insta story to explain what I'm doing/going through and the only people that will see it are my actual friends which is good. But I wish I could explain to the world I'm not a freak etc etc etc! But at the same time, I sorta am a lil bit of a freak and that's okay. I've always been freaky, I probably always will be freaky, it's not so bad :') at least we have each other :)!
I could have written this post myself. This all resonates so much, I'm so sorry you're going through this too.
I was a total outcast in highschool, people literally thought I was this insane freak and I had no friends when highschool ended. I live in a very small city, it would not be shocking if everyone I went to highschool with knows about my transition and will maybe find out about my detransition and it makes me feel sick to think about what kind of negative stuff people will likely think of me.
I also acknowledge though that it's just cruel of us to obsess over what other people might or might not be thinking about us. We will be okay, we know who we are and why we made the choices we made. That's all that matters in the end I think.
Hey everyone, long time lurker first time poster. My first post on reddit ever actually lol. Just wanted some feedback on what you guys think of my voice, I'm a detrans ftm and get a mix of gendering but definitely get he/him a lot after people hear me speak. I don't hate my voice at all, I actually love my voice after T, but feel sad that women don't view me as one of them because of it. I'm rambling! Sorry!
Do you have the option of tapering off to minimize the possible mood swings? I'm so sorry to hear the endo is being cruel like that. I was afraid my endo would be the same so I just never saw him again, not ideal because I was on T for 6 yrs and stopped cold Turkey but my T levels were always on the low side so I figured I'd be okay. In the end though you absolutely have control over your body and your care, do you have a friend or someone trusted you could bring to an appointment with your endo to help advocate for you? They are obligated to provide you with the medical care you need and if you're not happy on hormones then he needs to work with you to get you off them. I'm sorry this is so tough and so scary, I promise it gets easier.