This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "brendadickson" appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a fake account. The comments display:
- Consistent, detailed personal history: The user shares a coherent, multi-year narrative of being on testosterone for 5-6 years, having top surgery, detransitioning, and living as a GNC butch lesbian.
- Complex emotional introspection: The comments explore nuanced feelings about regret, internalized misogyny, social negotiation, and the philosophical reasons for detransitioning (e.g., rejecting gender ideology), which is consistent with a genuine, passionate individual.
- Practical advice and support: The user offers specific, experience-based advice on topics like hormone changes, laser hair removal, and social interactions, which is typical of someone engaged in a support community.
- A consistent worldview: The user's perspective—that gender is descriptive rather than prescriptive and that detransition was a liberation from an exhausting ideology—is firmly and consistently held throughout the timeline of comments.
The account exhibits the passion and strong opinions expected from a real detransitioner reflecting on their experiences.
About me
I started transitioning at 22 because I was a masculine girl who felt betrayed by my female body during puberty. I lived as a man for over five years, which made life easier by helping me escape misogyny, but the constant medical upkeep became exhausting. I ultimately realized I couldn't change my sex and that I was always a female person just trying to fit into a man's box. I stopped testosterone and now live confidently as a butch lesbian, embracing my whole history. My life is better now; I have less anxiety, my health improved, and my relationships are more authentic and satisfying.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition is a long one, and it’s taken me a lot of time and thinking to understand it all. I started transitioning when I was 22 years old. I was always a masculine girl and felt incredibly uncomfortable when my body started changing during puberty. I hated developing breasts; it felt wrong for me, like my body was betraying me. I think a lot of that came from internalized misogyny and growing up in a society that doesn't make much room for women who look and act like me. I also struggled with depression and anxiety, and for a long time, I thought transitioning was the answer.
I was on testosterone for over five years, from age 22 to 27. During that time, I passed completely as a man. Almost no one in my life knew I was born female. I even had top surgery—a double mastectomy—when I was 21, before I even started hormones. I paid a deposit for it a year earlier but postponed it because I wasn't totally sure. Looking back, I'm glad I had the surgery, but it makes me sad that I felt I needed to remove a part of my body because of the shame and discomfort I felt.
Living as a man did make my life easier in some ways. People took me more seriously at work. I was seen as assertive instead of a "bitch." Men treated me with more respect and didn't see me as a sexual object or a lesbian to be made fun of. It alleviated a lot of my social anxiety and depression, but I realize now that wasn't because I was meant to be a man; it was because I was escaping misogyny.
Around the five-year mark on T, I started having doubts. The constant upkeep of living as a trans man became exhausting. I was a medical patient for life, always going to appointments, getting blood tests, buying needles, and doing weekly shots. I knew eventually I'd need a hysterectomy, which would mean I'd need some form of HRT forever. The thought of that, and the constant low-grade anxiety of being "found out," started to wear on me. I wanted people to know the real me, my whole history, without having to hide or lie. I wanted to form authentic connections.
The biggest shift for me was changing how I thought about gender. I came to believe that gender is descriptive, not prescriptive. A woman is an adult female human, and how she looks, acts, or dresses doesn't change that. I realized I couldn't actually change my sex; I was always female, and no amount of surgery or hormones would make me male. I was just a masculine woman trying to fit into a box society made for men. That realization was freeing. I decided to stop testosterone and embrace living as a gender non-conforming woman.
Detransitioning was liberating. I told the people in my life, and I was straightforward about it: "Hey, I'm actually a woman." I got laser hair removal on my face, which was life-changing. My period came back after two months off T and has been regular ever since. My hormone levels returned to normal female ranges. My body is healthy. My voice stayed lower, but it doesn't cause me any issues. People sometimes mistake me for a man, but I don't let it bother me. I correct those who matter to me, and for strangers, I don't waste my energy. I live confidently as a butch lesbian now, and the community has embraced me.
I don't regret my transition in the sense that it's a terrible tragedy. It was a mistake, but it was the best I could do with the information I had at the time. I've made peace with my body, including my mastectomy scars. I've found things I love, like running, which has helped me connect with my body in a positive way, focusing on what it can do rather than how it looks. My life is better now—I have less anxiety, I save time and money, my health improved, and my relationships are more satisfying.
I do have some sadness about the loss, like the sexual pleasure from my chest that's gone forever, but overall, I'm happy. I’ve learned that my worth isn't tied to how I look or how others perceive me. I am a whole person, and I'm living my life fully now, not waiting for some future date when I'll finally "pass" or be complete.
Here’s a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 21 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy) |
| 22 | Started testosterone |
| 27 | Stopped testosterone and began detransitioning |
| 27 | Period returned 2 months after stopping T |
| 27 | Began laser hair removal on face |
| 29 | Fully living as a detransitioned, gender non-conforming woman |
Top Comments by /u/brendadickson:
rights to protection against discrimination in jobs, housing, healthcare, civic participation, etc? absolutely! rights to adequate healthcare? definitely, though i think the definition of healthcare doesn’t necessarily include cosmetic surgery and hormones, and definitely not for children. right to self-ID? no way, that is not a right, that is an infringement on the rights of others. right to change the definition of legally protected classes? no, that also holds implications for other people.
i think “trans rights” is intentionally broad so as to be misleading. you can claim a lot in the name of “rights,” but that doesn’t necessarily make it an actual right.
i can’t speak honestly about my detransition without talking about WHY i detransitioned; i didn’t just figure out that transition wasn’t right for me, i realized gender identity is a scam and transition doesn’t change your biological sex. thats WHY transition wasn’t right for me.
and that’s probably unpopular and upsetting for people who believe in transition and gender identity. but imagine shutting down the atheist sub because they don’t believe in christian ideas. at its heart, transness is an ideology, and if something someone else believes in requires me to believe in it too in order to substantiate it...well, i’ve got some bad news.
edit: clarity, formatting
ceasing to believe in transgender ideology (which is what caused me to detransition) is not the same as being transphobic.
and this whole idea of “invalidating” trans people always strikes me as so absurd. like...if your identity requires other people to believe in it in order for it to be real (aka valid) then it’s not based on reality, it’s based on faith.
detrans people deserve a space to discuss our experiences without having to kowtow to trans ideology.
oh come off it. plume has existed for a while and is a reaction to the notion that there is too much “gatekeeping” in the traditional medical transition process, not a reaction to recent legislation regarding medical transition. and as another commenter mentioned, it’s opportunistic,for-profit “healthcare,” incredibly exploitative.
are you genuinely asking what the adults should have done when “she was 13 & wanted it so bad?” they should have said no! they should have investigated where this feeling was coming from. if, as you suggest, she did not “feel like a whole person,” they should have started there. 13 year olds are wrong about what they want and what is good for them and why they feel a specific way all the time, why with trans feelings should we assume any different?
and he will never get to be a girl because a girl is a female child, which dylan never was and can never be. regardless of his feelings, he is male, grew up a boy, and can never know what it “feels” like to be a woman because by definition anything he feels is a man’s feeling. being an effeminate man is fine; performing stereotypes about women and saying that MAKES one a woman is not, as the other commenter suggested above.
you said “no one here wants to invalidate you [trans people] anyway.” and that is true! but further, if the existence of detrans people CAN “invalidate” an identity so centrally held that you’re undergoing life changing medical treatment for it, maybe that’s something to think about.
healthy identity formation is based on something real and, importantly, external to the self. i’m a sister because i have a sibling, and it would be weird (and frankly, inappropriate) for me to identify AS a sister without having a sibling (or a relationship similar enough). no one can invalidate that identity no matter what they say or do. that’s how healthy identity works.
furthermore, healthy identities don’t rely on other people to prop them up; i run, and because i run, “runner” is an identity i hold. i don’t need anyone else to substantiate that, no one needs to know or call me a runner for it to be true, no amount of telling me i’m “not a real runner” takes away my running—this is healthy. a healthy identity must not require other people’s participation to exist, it must be able to withstand challenges.
the only identities that exist outside of reality are faith-based, often religious. it’s worth considering which category trans identities fall into.
if trans people are coming here and finding it makes them feel “invalid” that is a big sign they should pay attention to.
this answer isn’t a cure all, but one thing that changed my life as i detransitioned was running. it’s a way to connect with your body that is removed from how it looks. you have something to do almost every day, it’s meditative, it offers progress. it has changed my life two years out.
this is personally very funny to me because i saw butcher perform standup maybe two years ago, before they announced transitioning but were openly NB. had a great chat with them after the show. little did they know i was grifting right under their nose, having detransitioned three years prior. devastating.
i want to be kind in my response, but friend, you’re living in delusion. women are adult females; how we behave, how we dress, who we love—none of that changes the fact that we’re women. gender roles (the stuff you’re hung up on) are cultural, and quite frankly, they’re stupid and i won’t lower myself by engaging in the type of conversation you’re looking to have. you wanna talk to people who’ve traded one set of constrictive ideological beliefs for another. you’re not stating any facts, just your beliefs. the great thing about beliefs is, if i don’t believe in yours, they have no bearing on my life. you, too, can break free of this prison of beliefs you’re holding onto. good luck, my heart hurts for you.