This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. The user expresses complex, nuanced, and sometimes contradictory personal views that are consistent with a genuine detransitioner/desister who is passionately working through their own trauma and internalized misogyny. The writing style is consistent, emotionally varied, and lacks the repetition or simplicity of a bot. There are no serious red flags suggesting inauthenticity.
About me
I started my transition as a teenager because I felt I didn't fit in as a girl and wanted to escape the pressure to be feminine. I lived as a man for a few years and realized my discomfort wasn't with being female, but with society's rigid expectations of women. I now see I was trying to fix my internalized misogyny and low self-esteem by changing my identity. I am detransitioning and learning to embrace being a masculine woman on my own terms. It feels more authentic to me than trying to be a man ever did.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was a teenager. I never felt like I fit in with the expectations placed on girls. I hated my breasts and felt incredibly uncomfortable with the changes of puberty. I saw being a man as a way to escape all that. I thought if I were perceived as male, I could finally be seen as masculine and not have to deal with the pressure to be feminine. I also had this idea, which I now see was wrong, that a masculine woman couldn't be attracted to men. Since I'm bisexual but lean more towards men, I felt like my masculinity and my attraction were in conflict, and transitioning seemed like a solution.
I socially transitioned in my late teens. For a few years, I lived as a trans man. During that time, I got a taste of male privilege. I was treated with more respect, my opinions were taken more seriously, and I felt like I could finally be the person I wanted to be. But underneath it all, something felt off. I started to realize that my desire to transition was tangled up with a lot of other things. I had a lot of internalized misogyny. I had grown up in a society that devalues women, and I think a part of me wanted to escape that by becoming something else. I also had a low self-esteem and was dealing with depression.
A big turning point for me was when I started to unpack all of this. I began to understand that my discomfort wasn't necessarily because I was born in the wrong body, but because I was born into a world that has very rigid and often toxic ideas about what a woman should be. I realized that my dislike of she/her pronouns wasn't about being the wrong gender, but about disliking the stereotypes and expectations that came with them. I started reading about radical feminism, and it was like a lightbulb went off. It helped me see that I could be a woman on my own terms—a fiercely masculine woman—and that was okay.
I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I'm grateful for that now. I did want top surgery desperately at one point, partly because of dysphoria and partly because of a deep fear of breast cancer after watching my mom die from it. Now, I think if I still want to make a change later, I might consider a breast reduction, but as a woman. I’m trying to learn to be comfortable in the body I have.
I don't believe people are born with a "male" or "female" brain. I think we're just born as human beings, and society forces us into boxes. My experience living as a man showed me that transition doesn't change who you fundamentally are or how you were raised. I will always have been socialized as female and experienced the world as a female. That's a biological and social reality that doesn't go away.
I do have regrets. I regret the years I spent trying to be something I'm not. I regret buying into the idea that I had to change my body to be accepted. I think transition is often used as a band-aid for deeper mental health issues, trauma, and societal problems like misogyny and homophobia. I benefited immensely from therapy that wasn't just about affirming a trans identity, but that helped me get to the root of my discomfort.
Now, I'm detransitioning socially. I'm learning to embrace being a woman, a masculine woman, and that feels more right to me than trying to be a man ever did. I'm trying to let go of all the labels and just be myself.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and developing breasts. |
| 16 | Began socially identifying as non-binary, then as a trans man. |
| 17 | Lived fully as a male, using he/him pronouns and a masculine name. |
| 19 | Began to question my transition, exploring internalized misogyny and radical feminism. |
| 20 | Started socially detransitioning back to living as a woman. |
Top Comments by /u/burdlo:
in the communities i'm a part of, there's this obsession with men and gay men and no one appreciates women, not even lesbians or bisexual women. it's getting very tiring.
also, everyone acts like misogyny is something they'd notice. it's not. not always. i lost my love for female characters in middle school because they just "weren't as interesting". i'm starting to love women again, romantically and just in general. it's making me feel ok about myself. i'm still not sure if i actually am a woman but i hope i am.
and don't pull that "but gnc trans ppl exist too!! :(" bullshit on me. the trans community is very contradictory and abstract and there are several schools of thought within it and several reasons why it's messed up. either way, transition does more harm than good and it's not simply "not hurting anyone." if it was, i wouldn't be complaining.
yeah! this comment made me feel nice. i'm realizing that my dislike of she/her pronouns isn't me being the wrong gender, it's me disliking the expectations associated with them. i'm writing a novel, and i have a character who defies those gender roles and is a fiercely masculine woman. i recently decided she'd be detrans and it's very empowering. i don't know how many people will actually know about that considering it's a very disliked topic for many, but i'm very proud of her. i plan on having more masculine women because you see some in media but they're actually never super masculine, and when they are they're usually lesbians, which brings us to my extreme dislike of people who assume feminine men and masculine women are gay or trans. it's everywhere, too. if you want to know if someone is gay, ask them, don't assume based on toxic stereotypes. yeah
no, you can't scientifically/spiritually be trans. brains don't have gender until society beats us into one category or the other. you are a human being in a female body. you grew up as female and you will stay that way, even if you're perceived as male. that shouldn't mean anything though, it's just a biological reality. i hate it as much as the next person.
despite this, you can be trans and you are. you identify as trans, you live as trans. you are trans. your transition probably wasn't necessary but it happened and honestly it's just like any other plastic surgery, it's a question of whether you like being perceived as male or not and whether it's enough for you.
yep, as a man i got to be anything i wanted. for the years i spent as a trans man, i saw women as having some innate femininity or some love for their body that they had to pursue or they weren't women. it was very toxic. women and men are neutral beings and we should not have to be men to be seen as people.
a lot of those studies are outdated, and happened before transition became widely normalized, accepted, or even glorified.
also, the reality of being transgender doesn't affect peoples visions of what'll happen.
a lot of people will be realizing that they aren't actually trans in the coming years, but thats ok. its a transition period. we used to hate trans people completely, and now we're on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, but one day we'll settle somewhere in the middle. but yeah a lot of people are still gonna regret transition.
listen, i understand how you feel, to an extent. i used to want to transition so i could be perceived as masculine and assumed to be masculine. i also kind of thought that masculine women couldn't be attracted to men. none of that was true, it was just me trying to work with the expectations society placed on me without being someone i'm not. also, i still love being perceived as masculine and desperately wish i would be a man. if i could press a button that magically turned me into a man, i would. but there is no button. it's not that simple.
the least you can do is explore the insecurities you have about being a man. break down the stereotypes and assumptions society has forced on you. when you're called a man, does it bother you because you aren't a man (which, in my experience, doesn't happen. our brains don't have gender), or because when people call you a man they expect you to be masculine and to suppress your femininity and "be a man?"
trans ideology is a hell of a drug. think this through first.
look into radical feminism. i am a radical feminist, and i know a few transmasc radfems. i can't say i agree with their decision to transition, because, well, it's upsetting to me. i try my hardest to avoid transition because i don't believe i should do it unless it's absolutely necessary. seeing people transition makes me jealous and i think it'd be a lot easier for us if we all just didn't do it. but i'm glad it makes you happy and i hope it stays that way. (i don't think it has to change. i think every person out there could've been born as male or female and they never would've known the difference, so you probably won't regret it. fyi.)
dysphoria isn't something you're born with, femininity isn't something inherent to women. are you dysphoric enough to need to transition or are you just jealous? i'm fuckin jealous too.
this isnt to force you into or out of anything, but to give you my opinion, you are not non-binary or male or whatever. you're female. your body is female, and that means absolutely nothing. there is no brain sex, no dysphoria from birth. you are born as you. a human being. from there, you're treated like shit because your physical body is female. now you're dysphoric. the question isn't whether you're male or female deep down. you are female, yohr body is female, that is not something you can change. you will always have grown up as a female and you will always be oppressed as one. the question is just whether you want this. do you want to transition, or not?
also, frankly, it's very telling and very offensive that your way of checking to make sure you're trans is whether you want to look like a "pretty girl." some girls aren't "pretty girls." i'm sure fucking not. i am a man in every way except my body but my body is what makes me female. let go of the idea that to be female/male you need to behave a certain way. it's so fucking freeing
you realize that most people who receive this criticism are men who have been treated with nothing but utmost respect their entire lives, right? and you may be impacted by this more because you have been conditioned to respond to criticisms more as a woman. men don't give a shit about this because they still have power over women in a way you never did.