This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and personal narrative about detransitioning. The user shares specific details about their dosage, timeline, and psychological process, which aligns with the passionate and often angry perspective of a genuine detransitioner. The advice is empathetic and complex, not the repetitive or simplistic language typical of a bot.
About me
I started questioning my identity as a female after a painful breakup at 19, when I felt completely lost. I later realized my distress wasn't from being the wrong sex, but from being a masculine woman who didn't fit in and struggled with societal expectations. I was on testosterone for a few years, but I've since stopped and am weaning off it. I now regret the medicalization and see that my real issue was a lack of support for my true self. I'm learning to accept myself as a female and live without any rules, just waiting for my body to heal.
My detransition story
My whole journey started when I was around 19, right after a really difficult breakup. I felt completely isolated and my self-esteem was at an all-time low. She was the only person I was really close to, and losing that made me start questioning everything about myself, especially my feelings about my body and how uncomfortable I always was with sex.
Looking back, I think a lot of my discomfort came from being a masculine girl. I was never diagnosed, but I strongly suspect I'm autistic, and I believe that played a huge role. Autism made puberty incredibly hard to accept and adjust to. It made me feel socially awkward and like I never fit in with other girls my age. I developed a real aversion to traditional gender roles and started to hate my breasts and the way my body was developing. I now see that a lot of my "dysphoria" wasn't some innate thing I was born with, but came from being mistreated, from internalized misogyny, and from the pressure to be a certain way.
I bought into the idea that if I felt this distress, it must mean I was trans and that I needed to transition. I started testosterone when I was 21. I was on it for a few years, doing weekly injections. I recently stopped, and I've been slowly lowering my dose over the last couple of months to wean off. I never got any surgeries.
I’ve detransitioned because I no longer believe being trans is a real, innate thing. I've come to understand that I was always female and always will be. Transition felt like an experimental, harmful medical treatment that was sold to me as the only solution. My real problem was that I'm just a masculine woman who was deeply uncomfortable as a teen and didn't have the right support to work through those feelings.
I don't have any regrets about the social aspects of my transition; it was a part of my journey to figuring myself out. But I do regret the medicalization. I regret taking testosterone and putting my body through that. The most important thing for me now is to stop the harmful medicalization and stop the cognitive dissonance of trying to be a man. I'm learning to practice radical acceptance and to love myself as I am.
My thoughts on gender are simple now: a woman is just an adult female. It doesn't define my personality, my strengths, or what I'm capable of. I'm finally learning that I get to decide how I move through the world, with no rules. I’m working on hair removal and just waiting for my body to become more feminine again now that I’ve stopped T. I've told a few close people I stopped for "medical reasons," but I don't feel a need to make a big deal out of it or "come out" again until I'm ready. For me, healing is about finding my tribe of supportive women and finally being free from the lie that I was ever supposed to be anything other than myself.
Age | Event |
---|---|
19 | Realized I was "trans" after a difficult breakup, feeling isolated with low self-esteem. |
21 | Started testosterone injections. |
24 | Began weaning off testosterone, lowering dose over several months. |
24 | Stopped testosterone completely and began the process of detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/butch-peace:
When you've gone through a certain amount of masculinization, it can feel like you'll always be "between" genders in a way. So I don't blame people for still feeling most comfortable with some kind of nonbinary label. At least temporarily.
For me, I deal with that by recognizing that I'm still female, which means I'm still a woman, even if strangers perceive me as a man. But there are different ways of looking at it.
I detransitioned because I don't believe that being trans is a real thing. I've always been female and always will be.
Transition is an experimental, often harmful, medical treatment that we were made to believe we needed because of the dominant narrative that "dysphoria = trans = you must transition".
I'm just a very masculine woman who was uncomfortable with her body as a teen and was mistreated, and therefore bought into the lie that is trans identity.
I'm sorry you've had this experience. A lot of people who transitioned young feel the same way. All I can is to let yourself feel what you're feeling.
I think girlmoding in private would be a great option for you! That will help you explore how it feels for you in a safe way. You are female after all, so it's not weird or wrong for you to try that out. So try to explore this without self-judgement. Lots of women are tall with masculine proportions. If that's how you come to see yourself, there's no shame in looking the way you do.
I'm not diagnosed but based on observation and what I've learned about females with autism/adhd, I suspect I have some kind of neurodivergence.
It's really a shame that girls aren't diagnosed, because I believe it's a huge part of why a lot of people transition. Autism can cause difficulty with accepting and adjusting to puberty and growing up. It can cause an aversion to traditional gender roles. It can cause black and white thinking that in theory can make people think of gender in really rigid way. It can cause social awkwardness, and a feeling of not fitting in with your peers. When you look into it, it's pretty obvious how neurodivergence would impact someone's ideas about their gender. And yet, they're still pushing kids through the trans pipeline without even evaluating them.
When you stop T, a lot about your appearance will actually change. Your body fat and muscle distribution, your face shape, etc. If you were on T as a teenager there may have been some bone structure changes, but even so you will look more feminine once you've been off T for a while. There are also relatively affordable options for hair removal if that's something you need.
Don't get stuck in the rut of thinking it's impossible for you to go back. The longer you spend there, the harder it will be to do. Take this one step at a time, as you're comfortable. Remember that you're in control of the wheel now. You get to make your own rules.
One of the biggest aspects of detransition is learning to practice radical acceptance. And learning to practice loving yourself. These things are key to getting to a better place with your mental health while you go through this process. Wishing you the best!
Your parents didn't know how to deal with it because they were the ones who caused it through their conservative beliefs about how you should be.
Women are amazing. And diverse. And smart, and strong, and kind. Rather than avoiding being part of a sisterhood, you need to find your tribe. Find the right women, and they'll help you to work through all the shit your parents ingrained in your head.
Women are not what they think they are. You are not what they think you are.
Maybe you feel like you have to act a certain way around certain people, but I wonder if you're being too hard on yourself. Do you have friends who will be supportive of you as a feminine man? If not, maybe you should find some. It's really important to know that you can completely be yourself, at least around some people.
You’re female. So by definition, you can’t be good at being male. You can be good at performing masculinity, but that’s not the same thing.
The thing you need to focus on is finding who you are. Finding what you like. Who you want to be. How you want to move through the world. There are no rules here, you get to decide!
All a “woman” is, is an adult female. You already are one. Even your experience of trying to become a man is a female experience.
Don't give up on yourself and don't give up on life! This is likely the hardest thing you or anyone else here will ever through, but it can be done. For me it's been very helpful to find detrans people on YouTube and elsewhere. Hearing their stories and just knowing that they went through similar things and are still alive, and even thriving, has helped me heal emotionally.
Yes, it's entirely possible to start the process without anyone knowing. For me, I stopped T recently and will be just watching and waiting until my appearance becomes more feminine. I'm also working on hair removal. I've told some people close to me that I've stopped T for medical reasons and I may be "rolling back" some of the changes.
It doesn't have to be a big thing, and you don't have to "come out" until you're ready. It all depends on your personal situation and how you psychologically come to terms with things. I personally don't care much about pronouns (never did) so if strangers think I'm a dude, then that's honestly fine with me. The thing that's important to me is that I can stop pretending with the people close to me. I can stop the cognitive dissonance of trying to be a man when I'm female. And I can stop the harmful medicalization.
No matter what you look like, I believe healing is possible.
I think the important thing to remember is that your family's reactions or beliefs about you don't mean anything. What matters is you feeling comfortable in your own skin and identity.
If they give you shit for it, maybe it's time to stand up to them and demand respect. Own your decisions. You're the one in charge of your life. Tell them you're not ashamed of your decisions.
As for not feeling like a woman, I completely get that. When I was younger I could never have imagined that I would feel like a woman when I got older. After transitioning and everything. That would have sounded crazy to me at the time! But for me it helped to change my mindset. A woman is just an adult female. It doesn't mean anything about who I am, or my personality, or what I'm capable of. It's just words.