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Reddit user /u/buzruleti's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 19 -> Detransitioned: 22
female
internalised homophobia
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
trauma
autogynephilia (agp)
depression
influenced online
influenced by friends
serious health complications
body dysmorphia
retransition
homosexual
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.

There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The comments demonstrate:

  • Personal experience: Specific, consistent details about laser hair removal for PCOS.
  • Engaged opinion: A nuanced, cited opinion on AGP that invites discussion.
  • Consistent ideology: A materialist view of sex, aligning with a common detransitioner perspective.
  • Technical knowledge: A detailed explanation of how laser treatments work.
  • Passionate advocacy: A strong, evidence-based warning about hormone side effects.

The user's tone is knowledgeable and passionate, which is consistent with a genuine desister/detransitioner.

About me

I started my transition because I felt deep discomfort with my female body, especially after puberty, and I thought I was in the wrong body. I took testosterone for over a year, influenced by online communities and my own depression, hoping it would make me feel at home. I stopped when I realized the serious health risks and that my drive to transition was rooted in a desire to escape being a lesbian. I now see my sex as a simple biological fact that doesn't define my interests or how I express myself. I am finally learning to accept myself as a woman who doesn't fit the stereotype, and that's okay.

My detransition story

My journey with transition started from a place of deep discomfort, but looking back, I see now that it wasn't a discomfort with being female, but with the expectations and trauma that came with it. I never felt like a "girl" in the way people expected me to, and that feeling started around puberty. I developed early and hated my breasts; they felt like a betrayal by my own body and made me a target for unwanted attention. I just wanted to be invisible, or better yet, to not have a body at all. I now understand this as a mix of body dysmorphia and the natural awkwardness of puberty, but at the time, I thought it meant I was in the wrong body.

I spent a lot of time online in communities that presented transition as the solution to these feelings. I was influenced by what I read and by friends who were also exploring their identities. I started identifying as non-binary first, which felt like a safer middle ground, but the pressure to pick a side and "fix" my body kept growing. I was also struggling with depression and severe anxiety, and I latched onto the idea that testosterone was the answer. I thought it would quiet the noise in my head and finally make me feel at home in my skin.

I took testosterone for a little over a year. I got laser hair removal on my face for convenience, as it's cheap in my country, but I never felt male while doing stereotypically "male" things like shaving or repairing things. I now see my sex as a material fact, not a feeling. What you do, how you dress, your interests—none of that can change that simple biological reality. You are free to do whatever you like without it changing who you are.

Coming off testosterone was a difficult decision, but a necessary one. I had begun to experience some health scares that made me look into the long-term effects more seriously. I learned about the potential for serious organ damage, including liver, kidney, and cardiovascular problems, as well as the risk of certain cancers. It scared me into realizing I was causing real, permanent harm to a body I was only trying to reconcile with.

My detransition wasn't a sudden event, but a slow process of untangling my feelings. A big part of it was realizing that a lot of my drive to transition was rooted in internalized homophobia. I'm attracted to women, and I think on some level, becoming a man felt like a more "acceptable" way to be a lesbian, to escape the male gaze and the stereotypes placed on female bodies. I also read about autogynephilia, the idea that some males are attracted to the idea of themselves as women, and it made me wonder if my experience was a strange mirror of that—a form of escape into a different persona to avoid the discomfort of being myself.

I don't regret my transition entirely because it brought me to this point of understanding. I needed to walk that path to finally accept myself as a woman who is just… me. I don't fit the stereotype, and that's okay. My sex is female, and that is a neutral fact. I am finally learning to live with that.

Age Date (Approximate) Event
12 ~2008 Started puberty; began to feel intense discomfort with my developing body and hated my breasts.
19 ~2015 Spent significant time online and with friends who influenced my perspective; began to identify as non-binary.
21 ~2017 Started taking testosterone.
21 ~2017 Began laser hair removal treatments on my face.
22 ~2018 Stopped testosterone due to health concerns and a growing understanding of my true feelings.
23 ~2019 Fully accepted my detransition and began identifying as a female again.

Top Comments by /u/buzruleti:

5 comments • Posting since January 21, 2022
Reddit user buzruleti (desisted female) comments on the roots of gender dysphoria, suggesting internalized homophobia, heteronormative pressure, and explaining Autogynephilia (AGP) as attraction to an idealized feminine self.
7 pointsMay 8, 2022
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it could be internalized homophobia + the pressure you feel to conform to heteronormativity (e.g. penetrative sex). as far as i know (from the academic papers i've read etc.) AGP men are either bisexual or heterosexual and their attraction is towards themselves (correct and inform me if i am wrong). They find themselves attractive in feminine clothing (or embodying feminine stereotypes such as submissiveness, doing house chores, thinness etc.) like they'd find a woman attractive.

this is only my half baked opinion, i'd appreciate comments on it.

Reddit user buzruleti (desisted female) explains that facial shaving doesn't define gender, stating "your sex is not a feeling, it is just material fact."
6 pointsOct 17, 2022
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i am a woman, i'd shaved my face time to time until i got it lasered off for convenience (and laser is cheap in my country). i didnt feel male while i was shaving. i dont feel male when i repair electronics or water pipes. your sex is not a feeling, it is just material fact. what you do, how you dress, your interests cant impact that. you are free to do whatever you like.

Reddit user buzruleti (desisted female) explains the severe and permanent organ damage caused by testosterone therapy, listing risks like testicular atrophy, cancer, liver/kidney failure, and psychiatric issues.
5 pointsJan 7, 2023
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the side effects are;

  • testicular atrophy, testicular cancer
  • liver problems regardless of his diet
  • kidney problems
  • cardiovascular problems, especially enlarged heart, weakened arteries etc.
  • pancreas problems
  • psychiatric problems are pretty common, T is essentially "liquid rage" for some people.

these are from top of my head, all of these apply to both sexes. i simply said organ problems but what i mean is inevitable permanent organ damage and in some cases, organ failure and/or cancers. i can provide you scientific evidence regarding the issue if you want.

Reddit user buzruleti (desisted female) explains how laser hair removal can be a faster first step for a PCOS beard before finishing with electrolysis.
4 pointsJan 21, 2022
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your skin tone and hair color is almost ideal for laser treatments. i have darker skin than you, and laser made wonders for my pcos beard (my beard was closer to yours). if you don't want to sit for an hour for electrolysis, you can get laser for 6-8 treatments (a good laser treatment will reduce the hair 30-50% in the first session) and get the remaining hairs with electrolysis.

Reddit user buzruleti (desisted female) explains the laser hair removal process, detailing how it takes 6-8 sessions to weaken and destroy hair roots by targeting melanin.
4 pointsNov 26, 2022
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laser treatment takes 6-8 sessions to fully work. laser heats up the melanin pigment in the hair, which damages the hair root. 20-30% of roots die in the first session, the rest get weaker. then you get the weakened roots lasered off, more of them die and the rest get even weaker and so on. so don't worry, everything is going normal.