these arguments make sense to those in “trans” echo chambers where they have total control of the terms of debate & establish “twaw” as some presupposed truth that we have the burden of proving false — because to them, the idea of “male woman and female men” is an inherent truth that anyone would be dumb to question. 🙄 this is why an official legal establishment of what sex actually means & putting a stop to legal fictions (changing sex on government documents) is so important and i champion it so hard.

the rare times i interact with these people, i immediately make it clear sex and gender are interchangeable terms. “woman/men” are shorthand biological descriptors for age, sex, and species, and in any context, women/girls can only be female and men/boys can only be males.

to the average outsider or someone who left the cult, their arguments make absolutely no sense, even fundamentally.

you just gotta own it lmfao.

on the real tho as a radfem, i think the whole “terf” title is stupid because they just call any and everyone a terf to the point where it doesn’t even mean what it’s supposed to mean if you exist outside of their echo chamber. the term is completely detached from radfeminism and now we just stuck catching strays 😭 males can’t even be radfems yet get called ‘terf’. conservative, trad types get call ‘terf’. i wouldn’t call it a slur but it’s def just another word they’ve added to the buzzword shelf.

the idea of detransition became easier for me when i realized that i didn’t have to do anything but be. i let my body exist as it is without unnecessary medical intervention. you don’t have to present as your “GAB”. your body doesn’t care how you present or want to dress — it will go through the motions it naturally is supposed to and you should let it (given you haven’t had SRS).

you can present exactly how you look and you would still be the sex you already are. you don’t need validation for your body to simply be and do what it does best naturally.

i have top surgery and can grow a full beard that i do not ever shave fully, but it doesn’t stop me from being female to begin with. unlike when i was trans-identified, i don’t have to prove to myself or others that i am what i am. i won’t magically regrow breast tissue and i can’t magically make my facial hair or deep voice go away, nor do i want to commit to any extra surgeries. i’ve accepted that some people will continue to mistake me as male, but i don’t have to change because i just am. i’m happy with no longer living in that old facade.

well. i’m gonna be real, this is not the subreddit for people to egg you on to continue to transition. you are a man — thus estrogen or surgeries won’t make you a woman. if you’re content knowing you will be a man through-and-through, even with a self-induced hormonal imbalance, then sure. if you’re content with the risks of cross-sex hormones could have on your health later down the line, then sure, but it doesn’t seem like you’re at that place of self acceptance yet seeing as you refer to yourself as some sort of category of adult female human when you are not.

‘try to emulate a woman’ or ‘become a man that conforms to society’ are not your only options here. being a man doesn’t mean you have to conform to be “the man people need”. what does that phrase even mean?

being a man doesn’t mean you need to be masculine, buff, or abide by the roles society has assigned to the two sexes. it’s okay to be gender-non conforming. you don’t need to medicalize yourself because you feel like you don’t fit the “male mold”. if you know “nothing about being a man,” you definitely know nothing about being a woman, trust me. you couldn’t know. there is no right way to be a woman other than to be an adult female human, just as there is no way to be a man other than to be an adult male human. being a man doesn’t require you to have certain feelings in regards to your state of being.

it doesn’t seem like you have a grasp on the reality of the nature of this, which is why i would advise against medical alterations at this moment. all the odds are stacked against you, especially healthy-wise, when you transition.

the problem is that a lot trans-identified people’s sex/gender dysphoria is based in stereotypes, internalized misogyny, and other factors. there is no way to identify this supposed “real dysphoria” from dysphoria caused by those factors because based on the definition of gender/sex dysphoria, it doesn’t matter where the basis of the distress stems from so long as the distress is there. in short, it’s one and the same. a lot of people who self-proclaim to have so called “real dysphoria” don’t even realize their dysphoria stems from one or more of the aforementioned factors.

many of us did not “transition for the wrong reasons”. i had dysphoria then, and i still have it now. i have a diagnosis, i have the distress that comes from dysphoria. taking HRT and having surgery made me happy but it did not make me a man. the medical reality & absurdity of the concept of “transitioning” is the sole reason for my detransition.

imo, the diagnostic criteria never meant anything to begin with. it’s arbitrary in nature. many people detransition because they recognize that “transition” is merely a socially accepted form of self-harm, and just because one suffers from dysphoria doesn’t mean it’s a death sentence. dysphoria can be dealt with in other ways that don’t involve suppressing one’s endocrine system or getting unnecessary cosmetic alterations.

a lot of detrans people get tired of living in denial of our sex, trying to force ourselves into sexual orientations that inherently exclude us, and trying to convince ourselves that we are a subset of the opposite sex when we will never be. transition is all one big cope that encourages people to go to the greatest lengths to deceive others into believing they’re a sex that they aren’t. some people are content with living within the confines of that facade and some are not. it’s that simple tbh — nothing to do with “real” or “fake” dysphoria.

i’m kinda in this situation where i pass as male and am a same sex attracted female.

at this point, you have to be realistic and realize that you are not and will never be straight if you are only same-sex attracted. every relationship you have with someone of the same sex will be a homosexual one, so the sooner you embrace that, the larger your dating pool will be. it’s okay to want to pass as female and be perceived as such, but it’s not health to want to get validation from someone else’s sexuality (i.e being same-sex attracted but dating “straight” males because it makes you feel more “womanly”).

there are plenty of gay and bisexual guys open to dating trans-identified males. there are other trans-identified males that would want to be with you. you do have options but instead you want to chase the impossible.

i passed as male when i met my lesbian girlfriend before we started dating 4 years ago. when i told her i’m not actually male, she got past the barrier of me “looking male” and began to be attracted to me because we’re the same sex and it wouldn’t have made her any less of a lesbian to be with me. flash forward 4 years later and none of her strict, anti-lgbt family know that i’m female because of my passing.

you shouldn’t care about what other people think about you being male, especially if you pass like you say you do then it shouldn’t even be a worry. as long as you aren’t using the opposite sex’s single-sex areas, there should be no need to out yourself as male to strangers who perceive you as a woman.

i find that it’s much more easy to be secure in your sex when you have a partner who knows and is attracted to your sex. you really stop caring about what everyone else would think. the answer to your dating dilemma would be to date males who are actually attracted to your sex and not to the facade of the sex you’re pretending to be.

i understand the psychology behind why they do what they do and why they’re in denial. it sucks because their blatant lying and manipulative tactics is what skews statistics. i know you know already this, but things like this are bigger than reddit.

it’s just funny to me that they go around claiming no one is getting hormones without intense screening to spite detransitioners and say we MUST have lied to our therapists to get on T, yet you have a thread with nearly 200 replies in less than 24hrs of people admitting they got their hands on T in less than a few days.

tbh, i just stopped the facade. idk you’re back story of how you came out, but i think it’s easier for someone like me who never officially came out as trans. i just started medically & surgically transition & as the changes would come, people would stop using certain pronouns & adjectives, and new people i met would automatically use certain pronouns & adjectives. and i detransitioned the same way. to this day, i’ve never announced anything to anyone. some people will be confused, but it’s not up to you to justify your existence to them.

you are your sex, no matter how you look. i think that’s the hardest hurdle for some people to get over once they start to detransition or desist because how persistent the brainwashing is in the “trans” community. you don’t need to prove anything to anyone. you don’t need act less masculine or less feminine to overcompensate just because you’re detransitioning. just be you, and do the things you love. you can’t win everyone over, nor should that be the mission.

you can’t control how people talk about you or the words they use to refer to you when they talk amongst other people. use your sexed pronouns when you refer to yourself in conversation w other people. just be grounded in yourself & usually others will follow.

phalloplasty should be a banned procedure and best believe it will be banned given a few more years. it’s barbaric, dangerous, and frankenstein-like for doctors to be constructing nonfunctional mimics of the opposite sex’s genitalia on mentally ill people.

fighting for your life in these replies omg LMFAO 💀

please define “transphobia” for me. i’m not a follower of the church of “trans”, and based on your replies to others and as far as i know, the word in the context that you’re presumably trying to use it in has no tangible meaning as far as i’m concerned.

put simple, if people consider me “transphobic” because i’m heavily & unapologetically against unnecessary medicalization & operation on children and vulnerable adults, so what? lol the GAG is that word certainly doesn’t scared me, and the most of the general public are starting to not gaf about the “transphobia” accusations either. 😹