Many non-trans people have decided that transition treatments must be safe and effective, because they read a news article that said so. Or their favorite late night TV host said so.

Some of the same journalists who questioned the tobacco industry's research suddenly insist that we need to believe whatever the surgeons say because they're the experts. Never mind their financial incentives. Independent opinions don't count.

Or they say concerns are warranted, but need to be very cautious about our criticism because we could hurt people's feelings.

No other medical treatments are this taboo to criticize.

They are sex deniers. They'll go on and on about how they think sex is a spectrum, and anybody could have an intersex condition and not know it, and that anatomy doesn't define whether you're a man or a woman. But when they want hormones and surgeries to pass as the opposite gender, suddenly they know what male and female are.

But we're supposed to call them "transgender" not "transsexual", even though many will still call their bottom surgeries "SRS".

And they will insist that trans women are presenting as women and living in a feminine social role, even though most don't pass, and they tend to be in male-dominated jobs like software development, and have stereotypically male interests, and spend relatively little time on childcare.

The placebo effect is powerful. If you've been told HRT is exactly what you need to finally accept yourself and feel authentic of course you're going to be happy, at least at first.

And the first bodily changes can be exciting. But after a couple of years you stop making visible progress, so it can be disappointing if you'd hoped you would eventually get a deeper voice or bigger boobs or whatever.

It can also take a few months or years to notice unpleasant side effects, such as genital atrophy.

Humans have an amazing ability to cope with (and adjust to) just about anything. Most people who become severely disabled in an accident, or experience the death of a child, go on to lead happy lives.

No matter what losses or traumas you have experienced, or mistakes you have made, you can still find acceptance, meaning and joy.

Be patient. Your body is still healing. And it may take a while to come to terms with it psychologically.

Even if it's not an ideal situation, it's not the worst case scenario either. You survived (in rare cases, patients have died a few days after vaginoplasty due to infection). There is a high chance you will still be able to enjoy sex. And that you will be able to urinate without difficulty. Try to find reasons for gratitude.

Some regretters find meaning in detransition activism. They find purpose in trying to change the medical system and the culture to correct misinformation, and prevent other people doing something they might regret. For other people, this might be maladaptive and lead to them dwelling on their hurt, and they might be happier focusing on other things.

You're young. Nobody gets through life without a few scars. Regardless of what body modifications you've had, or any questionable medical treatments you've received, you've got many happy days to look forward to.

Obsessions can be cured without needing to resort to surgery. Two years is a short time so this could be a passing phase.

You can't know for sure you'll prefer something if you haven't experienced it yet.

This is disabling surgery that would remove your fertility. A reduction in libido is likely too. There is also a chance you will lose the ability to orgasm. And that fewer people would be interested in dating you. I'm sure you know this and have thought about these issues.

But have you seriously considered that you could also end up with chronic pain, urinary troubles or a serious infection? This could make your life very difficult, or possibly even end it if you are unlucky. It could also complicate future health care issues, like if you get kidney stones or need a catheter for another reason.

The egg subreddit grooms vulnerable people into thinking they were born in the wrong body and must transition to be happy. Normal thoughts and common feelings experienced by billions of people are held up as "proof" someone is trans.

The idea that older trans people need to mentor younger ones (make them realize they were trans, or give them transition tips) also leads to a lot of inappropriate conversations with minors about intimate stuff like masturbation.

Yeah, the doubt thing is interesting. I think most people who identify as trans privately have doubts about whether they are really trans. They might wonder if their desire to transition comes from feeling ugly, or having a fetish, or wanting to be part of a group, and so on. And they know they weren't that dysphoric or gender nonconforming as little kids. So it's convenient to say that all trans people have doubt and therefore having doubt actually proves you're trans.

It's concerning that you feel the need to call her a him out of "respect" when she isn't even here to get offended. There is nothing disrespectful about calling a girl a she. We should affirm reality, not wishful thinking or delusion. She needs to get over her mentality that women are lesser, or that it's possible for her to be anything other than a woman.

She wasn't just assigned female at birth. She was conceived with a sperm that carried an X chromosome, and her body developed as female. It's better to use language that reflects reality, rather than trans dogma.

There is no way to support social transition without accidentally supporting medical transition. The more she tries to pass as male (or as not-female), and the more she expects people to call her a him, the more she will view her body as a problem that needs to be changed. Lots of girls who identify as nonbinary end up getting surgery and hormones.

Thank goodness youth are blocked from medical transition where you live. That buys some time for her to grow out of this phase. Encourage her to pursue other interests. Discourage her from draping herself in nonbinary flags and hanging out with trans-identified friends.

People who identify as nonbinary often consider themselves a minority within a minority, and far more oppressed than binary trans people. They think they have more victim points, so they get to shout louder than more privileged folks.

And of course, their legitimacy is constantly called into question by transmeds and mainstream society. Normies have some sympathy for regular trans people, but the nonbinary thing is harder to swallow, and people are less tolerant of they/them pronouns and neopronouns. A lot of trans people think they are unserious and make regular trans people look bad. So nonbinary people tend to be especially insecure and eager to police so-called transphobia.

Young women have high rates of depression. Yet very few commit murder. Few mentally ill people become killers, and many killers have no mental illness. Better mental health care won't be enough to erase the problem of terrorism or radical political ideologies.

Perhaps she was radicalized by trans activist rhetoric about needing to fight cis oppressors. Trans activists complain that trans people are being genocided and that soon it will be illegal to exist. They demonize all critics as Nazis and fascists and sometimes call for violent retaliation. "Arm trans people", they say. They particularly hate Christians and anyone deemed rightwing.

Or perhaps she wanted to do a stereotypically masculine act of violence to "prove" she was a man. Or perhaps she was taking testosterone, which boosts aggression and risk taking behavior.

There is concern that the impact on bone density isn't fully reversible. Once they stop blockers they start to build bone, but it doesn't fully make up for lost time.

Marci Bowers said they can also make it difficult to orgasm (long after the blockers are stopped). Puberty blockers impair sexual development in the brain and in the genitals. It's unclear how much that is reversible and under what circumstances.

Males who take puberty blockers do not experience penile growth. It's unknown if they can catch up from raising testosterone levels later.

At least one patient has died partly as a consequence of puberty blockers. As an 18 year old they got a vaginoplasty, but there wasn't enough tissue to do a penile inversion, so they had to use the colon, which is more risky. The patient died of infection. Here is the abstract. If you read the full article there are pics of the infection. One of the kids from the Dutch experiment.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27664856/

And you're right about the social stuff. The experience of being out of step with your peers is not reversible. Preventing the brain from maturing and a teen from undergoing normal experiences can contribute to feelings of alienation. And a girl who is afraid of starting her period and living as a woman certainly isn't gaining any insight or figuring anything out by keeping her body and brain childlike for a couple more years. It doesn't help her decide anything.