This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's perspective is complex and internally consistent, detailing a personal journey from MtF HRT to identifying as non-binary/masculine. They express nuanced opinions, acknowledge their own biases, and share specific, plausible life details (e.g., career, wife's salary, workout routine). The passion and criticism they direct at both trans and detrans communities align with the expected strong feelings of someone who has lived this experience.
About me
I was born male and started taking estrogen to transition, driven by a mix of sexual feelings and a deep struggle with the rigid expectations placed on men. I stopped hormones after developing breasts, which I am now considering having surgically removed. My journey taught me that I was trying to escape stereotypes instead of breaking them, and I now believe we are often healthier on our natural hormones. I live happily as non-binary now, but I have regrets about my medical transition and worry that not enough people are warned about the permanent consequences. Ultimately, I've found my greatest peace through self-love, beyond any label.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been complicated, and I’m still figuring it out. I was born male and I started taking estrogen hormones to transition to female. I did this for a while, but I’ve since stopped and now I live as non-binary, leaning more towards masculine. I don’t really use the labels trans or cis for myself that strictly; I’m just me.
A big part of why I transitioned was related to autogynephilia (AGP). The sexual aspect was a major driver for me. I also really struggled with the expectations placed on men. I was bullied by my dad and friends for not being masculine enough when I was younger, like when I tried shaving my legs once. It felt like there were no positive ways for a boy to be feminine without being called names. I think I internalized a lot of that and saw transitioning as a way out.
I also have thoughts about how society treats men and women differently. I work in a tech company with a lot of women, and my wife makes twice what I do. I’m a feminist and I believe women are just as capable as men. Sometimes I wonder if some female transitioners are trying to escape sexism or feel that being a man is easier, when in reality, being a strong woman is powerful. Transitioning, to me, sometimes feels like it reinforces stereotypes instead of breaking them down.
I never got any surgeries. I was on hormones long enough to develop breasts, and now I’m considering whether to have them removed. It’s frustrating that even though I’m going back to a more masculine presentation, I might still need a gender specialist's approval for a surgery to remove breast tissue that I developed from taking estrogen. It feels like a strange loop to be in.
Health-wise, I believe we’re better off on our natural hormones. I saw testosterone almost as a problematic steroid. Since stopping HRT, I’ve used Rogaine to try to regain facial hair and prevent my hairline from receding. You can’t get everything back, though. My therapist has been really helpful, not by affirming a gender, but by having me focus on self-love and naming things I like about myself. That kind of non-affirming therapy has been more beneficial for me.
I have regrets about medically transitioning. I worry that the current model of informed consent doesn’t involve enough mental health checks. Someone might consent, but that doesn’t mean they truly understand the lifelong impacts. I see a lot of young people transitioning now, and it worries me that there will be many more people like me who detransition later, and we’re often shunned by the trans community for sharing our experiences. I’ve been told I was never really trans, which feels like my entire experience is being invalidated.
Now, I’m comfortable identifying as non-binary. It lets me switch between masculine and feminine styles at work without much question. I bench 300 lbs and have a great social life and job. I’m happy. But I’ve learned that youth is fleeting, and transitioning affects you forever. I think if you wouldn't be okay being an "ugly" man or an "ugly" woman, then you should really reconsider permanent medical steps. For me, the most important thing is just being myself, beyond the labels.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| (Age not specified in comments) | Started MtF HRT (estrogen) |
| (Age not specified in comments) | Stopped taking hormones |
| Present (age not specified) | Living as non-binary (he/they), presenting masc, considering top surgery to remove breast tissue developed from estrogen |
Top Comments by /u/cantrollmyrs:
Yeah, girls have it harder at a young age. You could get breast reduction or removal, but its possible to regret it. Im AMAB MtF and still considering if I want to remove my breasts after prolonged Estrogen exposure. Currently I present NB Masc. You also won't be a "hot guy" forever, maybe a few years and then its over. If you can't see just being a man even if ugly, then I would reconsider transition. Would you rather be an alright girl or an ugly man. If not an ugy man, then not sure how trans you really are. Trans people who are strongly trans want to be the other gender no matter what. Youth is fleeting and transitioning effects you forever.
There is a lack of mental health checkin and making sure people really understand what trans is under the current informed conscent model. Someone might conscent but that doesn't actually mean they understood. Its like someone getting interegated and just saying guilty even they though they might be innocent.
I'll admit I have AGP. I did never understand why someone like a trans man would want to "get with as many gay men as possible". I would generally think they would continue dating women, but go for straight women instead of lesbians. By going for gay men all they are doing is subjecting themselves even further being in a sub group of a sub group. I had a detrans FtMtF friend who found gay men either thought a vagina wasn't gay or jsut saw it as a quick fetish thing, one and done, very transactional. Not saying that is always true, just what I was told.
I mean you are in a better spot already probably than some MtF transgender people. I know plenty of women who got chest reconstruction / your hair will probably start coming in more / rogaine could help. I started the opposite, going back to male, I've used rogain to try to regain facial hair and prevent my hairline from receding. Guess we can't get everything we want.
True. I mean of course they have a lot of changes like breast growth etc, where as men its just voice change, but nothing as awkward as what women may experience. That is why I wonder if at a teenage level if its really dysphoria or just an awkward time.
First off congratulations.
Secondly What ruled about being a man? I
I did not mean to imply it was lonely and hard for me, quite the opposite. I still go by he/they. I bench 300 lbs and have an active social life and a great job. In terms of lonely, I mean its different being a man, especially someone raised and biologically xy. Men in my life don't talk about feelings, or offer the same support I've seen from women. I'm not sure how much is nature vs nurture and sure it's not 100% true in all cases, just from my experience.
People do have individual experiences. All I wanted was a debate and am generally curious on other experiences, by no means do I think I'm right, or any expert. I'm happy to be made wrong. That is the point. Thank you for your response.
Well put. I've been told you're just a cis white dude and were never trans. Basically my entire experience invalidated. I do identify as NB relating slightly more to being masc. But I'm also fine if someone wants to call me CIS or Trans. In the end these are just labels. Calling it a "girl dick" or a "dick clitoris" is just sugarcoating what it really isn't. I feel like this extreme behavior on some trans sides causes an equal resistance by the other side. In the end its all just arguing over semantics where no one wins.
Gotcha. I will admit I am not up to date on all terms and practices. I may say the wrong terms or words. Even though I started MtF HRT I was still socialized as a man, and even looking female still behaved as a man and knew how to keep my male "priveldge" / not get talked over, assert dominance. Doesnt hurt that I still benched 250 lbs with muscles. I am here to learn and discuss civally.
I will say I work primarily with women in a six figure job at a top tech company. I'll be in a call with 12 women and 3 men all 6 figure earners. I'm totally fine with that. I'd like to see more women in stem fields.
My wife makes more than I do by 2x and I'm happy for her. She worked hard. Keep in mind men had it easier and women have had to work hard, they aren't just given an easy slide in the door. I am AMAB and I'm in the same field. My AGAB didn't give me any less advantages.
I mean, I wish i could do research on this at an academic level. It worries me with so many more transitioners is going to mean that much more detrans people. With detrans people often being shunned and shamed by the trans community. I do think someone MtFtM is not MtM, yet it is treated as if you were just never trans and a threat to the trans agenda. People may have times in their life they want to be female and other times male. I'm not sure why things have to be so black and white.