This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is detailed, emotionally complex, and internally consistent over time. They describe a very specific and plausible detransition journey, including nuanced feelings about medical intervention (finding T helpful but ultimately stopping), sexuality, and the psychological process of re-identifying as female. The advice given to others is personalized, empathetic, and lacks the repetitive, scripted quality of a bot. The passion and occasional anger align with the expected sentiment of someone who has experienced harm.
About me
I started transitioning because I was deeply uncomfortable with the expectations placed on me as a woman, and I thought becoming a man was my only escape. My journey was fueled by a mix of internalized misogyny and a sexualized fantasy that I confused for my true identity. I took testosterone for a while and it helped me feel better at the time, but I realized that being female isn't a feeling you can change. I finally quit hormones and stopped binding because I was tired of fighting against my own healthy body. Now I'm a woman who has made peace with herself, learning that I can just be me without all the baggage I used to associate with being female.
My detransition story
My journey with gender was complicated, and looking back, I see it was driven by a lot of pain and confusion. I started out socially transitioning, but the longer I did it, the more uncomfortable I felt. It was like I was putting on a costume that didn't fit. I realized I wasn't actually uncomfortable with being female; I was uncomfortable with the boxes and expectations that came with it.
A big part of my experience was tied to sexuality. I was, and still am, primarily attracted to men. For a long time, the idea of being a man and having sex with a man was my number one fantasy. It was sexually exciting to me. I think I fueled my trans feelings with this attraction to the idea of becoming a man. I’ve summed it up as an escapist, almost fetishistic, form of self-harm that was ignited by a lot of internalized misogyny and some bad experiences with other women. I was afraid of being vulnerable and being treated like a sex object, so becoming a man felt like a way to escape that.
I did take testosterone for a while, and I have to be honest, it helped me immensely at the time. It made me feel more comfortable in my body, and I don't regret trying it because I needed to go through that to learn. But taking testosterone didn't make me not a woman. That was a huge realization for me: female is not a feeling. It's just what you are. Realizing that was the biggest help. You never stop being your sex; you just learn to accept it.
I also struggled with a tendency to obsess over things, including gender. It was a control thing for me. When I felt mentally distraught and vulnerable, I would try to control something, like my schoolwork or my diet, and gender became another thing to control. It was a coping mechanism.
The turning point came when I decided to quit testosterone and stop binding my chest on the same day. I was just done with what I called "trans related bullshit." I was tired of feeling uncomfortable with healthy body parts. I spent a lot of time getting reacquainted with my body, even just being shirtless around my house, to get familiar with my breasts again after trying to forget I had them for so long.
What really helped me heal was my relationship with a male partner who saw me as both sexy and as his best friend. Having real, intimate experiences with someone who loved me showed me that my fears about romance and sex were different from reality. It wasn't about being a sex doll; it was about being vulnerable and connected.
I now consider myself a cisgender woman. I’m comfortable with that, though I still sometimes enjoy when people are confused about my gender or read me as male. I’ve learned that "woman" just means adult female, and it doesn't have to come with all the baggage I used to associate with it. I can just be myself. I still have days where it's painful to envy the other sex, but that's just part of life. Accepting reality, even when it's hard, is better than living in escapism.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Late Teens | Started socially identifying as transgender. Began binding my chest. |
| 20 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 21 | Quit testosterone and stopped binding. Began the process of accepting myself as female. |
| 22 | Fully identified as a cisgender woman again, feeling more comfortable in my body and identity. |
Top Comments by /u/catcatcatSes:
For me, I became more uncomfortable the longer I socially transitioned because I no longer felt uncomfortable with myself as female or my sex characteristics. Semi-Medical transition helped me immensely to feel more comfortable in my body and I do not regret it. I also am prone to obsessing about gender, so I have been mindfully dissecting and tending to these bad habits. I now consider myself cisgender and a woman now, but I do enjoy being read as male or being confused for a man. Testosterone has helped me immensely in my life, but I don’t think taking it made/makes me not a woman. Hope this made some sense.
Hi you sound similar-ish to me (in your male attraction and also secret femininity). Accepting femininity and the desire to be pretty and the ways that attracts men is very scary. I am still not at the point where I can wear the dresses and shorts I want to wear yet, just because of multiple fears I have and multiple desires I have for a male body. What do you think you should do now? That’s a hard question. You can always detransition and it’s always available. Maybe viewing it as another transition forward to healing instead of “going back” would be helpful if you wanted to make these choices. You have time though.
Like you said, female is not a feeling. Realizing this helped me the most. Female is just what you are. It doesn’t mean you have to be a specific kind of person. Just be yourself :) the word woman might still be hard to use and has a lot of baggage, but woman just means adult female.
Hey! It’s okay to have days where your sexuality gets the best of you and to dress like a thot. To be honest with you, I was similar and it is much more comfortable to now be off T and to just be myself (who happens to be a cute girl). You’re primarily attracted to men it sounds like? Has transitioning impacted your relationship with men in a way you think would be better if you stopped transition? Having a male partner who sees me as both sexy and as his best friend was immensely healing to me. I would say to pause transition as being a goal if it is and to consider thinking of yourself without trans language or gender language. Considering myself female before a woman helped me a lot to make the logical jump to accepting womanhood. I also agree that porn is a bad habit, but erotic art and drawing erotica could be a good way to tame the temptation to watch porn with real people.
I am so happy that you found peace in the pain and are still here to share your experience with us! I too have found a similar relief from acceptance, but sometimes it is still painful to envy the other sex and to accept reality. But that's life! No one said it was supposed to be pain-free to be alive and to be a person. It is good to not wait for change but to take life by the balls and make the change happen. Glad you found happiness <3
I'm also a detrans bi gal. I have always loved dressing up cute but my dysphoria kept me from enjoying my body in clothing, especially highly gendered clothing like dresses. I am so happy for you. It makes me glad to see other women who are similar and had a similar transition experience.
Yes, by realizing I was never “not cis”. You seem to be the same way. You want desperately to be a girl/woman. Here’s the truth: you never stopped being a girl. Own that. You will never not be you and never not be female. Own it. No amount of forcing yourself will help you. Everytime you think about gender, gently remind yourself that you already know you are female and that means you are automatically a woman. Feeling gender is fake. You are always a woman.
Ive always wanted to be a man and have sex with a penis (with both men and women) Number 1 fantasy ever. I def fueled my trans feelings with my attraction towards the idea of becoming a man. It was a sexy concept to me. I’ve summed my transition up as an escapist fetishistic form of self harm that got ignited by an insane amount of internalized misogyny and bad experiences with other females.
Hi! Your daughter’s dysphoria progression sounds pretty similar to mine and I mainly want to focus on what you can realistically do to help her ease herself out. I’m not going to recommend controlling her internet or hobbies as that could do more harm, potentially. Instead, I recommend spending more time with her and talking together about emotions. If you can get to it successfully, I would ask her if she’s feeling any emotional and psychological pain. It’s so important that you initiate in deep conversation and let her know that you see her and can tell something’s up, that you can talk without judging each other.
I also recommend maybe doing more things with her if you have the time. Going outside, for good food, to museums, etc. Is she interested in volunteering or working with animals? Something hands on and interactive can help ground her and get her in touch with her body (she may protest doing this if she is afraid of getting in touch with her body).
Maybe this isn’t helpful but I used school and grades as a control method for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love school, but it was a way i could get control over my life when i felt most vulnerable and mentally distraught. From there, I controlled my diet unhealthily, my sense of self with gender, and began checking locks and wallets over and over again. If someone had saw my transition and gender obsession as similar to those other unhealthily methods of control, I would have felt seen and heard. Pain always wants to be recognized and seen and heard. Hope some of this helped and feel free to PM me.
I say you should work to go off of T and slowly transition forward towards your next stage in life. It sounds like you want to own your womanhood again. It's worth it. Your voice might change but if you talk with your throat you will always sound more feminine. My best friend was on T for two years and transitioned at 16 before detransitioning. She now has less acne, lost weight, likes her body more, AND got a great boyfriend. It's 100% possible to be a woman without breasts also. I don't have any personal advice for accepting your body post surgery, but I'm hoping some other women who had top surgery will reply. Goodluck. You can always detransition.