This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's comments are highly personal, nuanced, and emotionally consistent over a three-year period. They share a detailed, non-linear story of their own detransition/desistance, including specific personal struggles, timelines (e.g., 10 years living as FTM, 2 months on T), and practical advice. The language is conversational, uses personal anecdotes ("xD"), and shows a clear, evolving perspective that is characteristic of a genuine individual processing a complex experience. The passion and occasional frustration align with the expected sentiment from someone in this community.
About me
I started as a teenager who hated the expectations for girls and my own body, which led me to live as a man for nearly a decade. I took testosterone briefly and loved the changes, but stopped due to health and cost. Over time, my intense dysphoria faded and I realized I could just be a masculine woman. I detransitioned and told my new coworkers on my first day, which was awkward but fine. Now I'm comfortable as a woman, though I sometimes wish I'd been born male, and I express that through my writing and how I live.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I never really felt like I fit in with the expectations people had for girls. I hated my breasts and always wanted a flat chest. I didn't relate to a lot of the stereotypes about women and I hated being sexualized. I felt so different that I eventually came to believe I must not be a woman at all.
I started identifying as a trans man and lived that way for almost ten years. I took testosterone for about two months. I loved the changes, especially how my voice dropped and I could finally pass as male. But I stopped because it was starting to cause some health issues I didn't want to deal with, and I was a student who couldn't afford the ongoing medical costs. I thought I might start again later, but I never did.
During that whole time, I took things very slowly because I had this nagging feeling that I might regret it. I guess I was right to be cautious. My dysphoria, which felt so intense for so long, eventually started to fade. It took nearly a decade, but it almost completely went away. I started to realize that you can be gender non-conforming and still be a woman. I think I forgot that. Personality and interests don't define your gender; it's just a biological reality.
I decided to detransition. A big fear was what other people would think and the embarrassment of going back. I had this plan to wait a year, move to a new town, and start over with a new name so no one would know. But I ended up telling everyone on my first day at a new job instead because I just couldn't wait. It was awkward, but it was worth it. No one really cared that much; they were nice about it and fixed my name in the system.
Now, I'm okay with being a girl. I'm fine with female pronouns and I've even become more okay with my chest. But I’d be lying if I said I don't still sometimes wish I had been born a guy. I wish I could just snap my fingers and be male. But I don't want to be a trans guy. So now, I live out those feelings through escapism, like in books I write or games I play.
I’m a masculine woman. I have short hair, a tomboy style, and never wear dresses or makeup. I've worked on training my voice back to a higher pitch, and it's on the female spectrum again, though it doesn't sound exactly like it used to. I wonder if my look will make it harder to find a partner since I sometimes look like a butch lesbian even though I'm not, but I think it'll be fine.
I have some regrets. I regret not understanding sooner that I could just be a masculine woman without having to change my identity. I think a lot of my feelings came from hating gender roles and stereotypes, not my actual body. I also have some sexual trauma and have always hated being objectified, which I think played a huge part. I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m still a virgin, but I'm working on healing from that little by little.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's okay to question it, but questioning doesn't automatically mean you should transition. It might mean you need help accepting yourself as a tomboy or just a person who doesn't fit stereotypes. There's no one way to be a woman. Just be yourself.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teenager | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and female gender roles. Hated my breasts. |
| Around 19-20 | Began identifying as a trans man (FTM). |
| Early 20s | Started testosterone. Loved the changes, especially my voice dropping. |
| Early 20s | Stopped testosterone after 2 months due to health concerns and cost. |
| Late 20s | My gender dysphoria began to fade significantly over time. |
| 29 | Officially detransitioned and resumed living as a woman. Told my new workplace on my first day. |
| Now (30) | Living as a masculine woman, comfortable in my identity, but still occasionally wish I had been born male. |
Top Comments by /u/catowl-1:
I really hate the "if you question ur gender ur not cis" that is super harmful! Anyone can question their gender! That doesnt mean they should transition, it might be something else they need, like help accepting that they are a tomboy or femboy or w.e
Face looks like a woman but body like a man, but that just might be because of the clothes! Not saying you need to wear a skirt or anythinf but if you wore the pants a bit higher up and didnt pull the shirt over your hips maybe that would help! If you want to do that, that is
You can be gender non conforming and still be a woman, i think thats what people forget, and I did too. I always wanted a flst chest and I still do but my chest dysphoria has definitely gone down a lot. In general i want a more androgynous looking body but ive accepted what i got even tho it's not what i wouldve chosen for me xD Personality wise i also do not relate to a lot of women, but again, that doesnt mean im not one tho! We are all individuals, we are all different I feel like if i was a teen now i would call myself nb, but im rly happy im not xD I think nb is a way to identify out of female gender roles, expectations and stereotypes Cuz if ur nb, those wouldnt apply to you right? But in the real world that doesnt work, other people will still apply those faulty expectations on you anyway... sucks but its true
Just tell everyone and get it over with. I detransed just as i started a new job, rly bad timing and i thought of just waiting for a year and then leave and go by a new name etc at a new job, but that would just create other problems. So my first day at the office i tell them i changed my name and so we need to change it everywhere in the system. From male name to female name, and then someone asked my gender i guess I said female and they fixed everything up for me and i ended up working there for a year.
There is a detransperson called shapeshifter who is like you, maybe you could seek him out and ask for advice? He still presents a lot like a woman even tho he identifies as a man again. Its gonna be hard ofc, you cannot change what has happened but there are many men out there that for example have a micro penis or they lost their penis in an accident so there are many different ways mens lives can be different down there but they still live as men. Breasts can be removed, yea its another invasive surgery but its up to you... Just do not think you are too far gone, you are not, just follow your heart and what feels best for you, it wont always be easy but such is life
There is no certain way to be a woman, just be yourself! One of my biggest fears when detransitioning was other peoples reactions and judgements but turns out i didnt have to worry at all, it was very mild, everyone was understanding. It will be awkward at times but it will be fine!
Just get lazer hair removal later You already look feminine :) you look nice! If people percieve you as a woman you dont really need to look feminine anyway, and the easiest way to get percieved as a woman is probably voice and hair, so do a lot of voice training if u need it! But you already look feminine enough so i dont think it matters for you! Clothing doesnt really matter if its masculine or feminine cuz women can wear both and people dont rly care that much
I felt the same as u and i eventually detransitioned xD I felt fine living as a transman for years and couldve probably kept living as one cuz I didnt mind, i dont mind a flat chest or guy clothes or w.e but eventually my dysphoria faded and I started thinking abt my future do I wanna live as trans or am I actually okay to live as a woman. Apart from dysphoria I always hated being seen as a woman because people have so many stereotypes abt women that I just don't relate to and I hate being sexualized by others. But I've accepted that no matter how different I feel from other women and how much I disassociate I am still a woman because being a woman isn't tied to certain personalities or interests or clothing choices, its just a biological thing So I detransd and have never been better :) its good to not have to hide some part of me
Hopefully you wont regret it but you are young... just take things slowly (i know its hard when u got dysphoria) and dont jumpstart hormones etc. Make sure you know the medical downsides of cross sex hormones. And if ur considering any surgeries... I would hope u stay away from bottom surgery, but if u do want it then do lots of research! it can go very badly..
And ye dont forget that biologically you will always have the sex ur born with, and just come to terms with this and accept this, even if you transitioned
:)
Im a masculine woman, short hair, tomboy, never wear dresses or makeup or w.e, i like a different style that makes me feel good
I wonder if it will make it harder to find a partner tho since i look like a butch lesbian sometimes even tho im not xD but its probably fine!
Anyway some ppl are always gonna get masculine women to conform to some standard of what a woman should be but in general it's nothing to worry about. Just live ur life and have fun! U will be fine and fk w.e others think. Just ignore them.