This story is from the comments by /u/catummi that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "catummi" appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments are highly specific, emotionally consistent, and contain intricate personal details about their detransition journey (e.g., reasons for transition, time on testosterone, permanent physical changes, pregnancies, laser hair removal scams). The narrative is complex and spans several years, which is difficult to fabricate consistently. The tone of being "pissed off" about the harm and stigma, as well as the passion for raising awareness, aligns with the expected perspective of a genuine detransitioner.
About me
I was a tomboy who started testosterone at 19 because I hated my female body and thought my personality meant I was supposed to be a man. After four years, a car crash and therapy made me realize I was wrong, so I stopped. I’m now a woman with a husband and kids, but I have permanent changes like a deep voice and facial hair from taking testosterone. I’ve learned that being female doesn’t limit my personality, and I’m finally comfortable just being myself. My journey taught me self-acceptance, and I’m now focused on correcting the physical changes I can.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition was a long and complicated one, but it feels like a lifetime ago now. It all started when I was a teenager. I was a tomboy as a kid—outdoorsy, bossy, and what some people would call unlady-like. When puberty hit, I really struggled. I developed an eating disorder, anorexia, because I hated the curves my body was developing. I didn't want breasts or hips. At the same time, I had this low self-esteem and had absorbed a lot of negative messages from society, like the idea that men were somehow better than women, or that women get ugly as they age. I put two and two together and thought that my discomfort with my body and my tomboy personality meant I was supposed to be a guy.
Being gay also seemed like a big "it" thing at the time, and since I'm a straight woman, transitioning felt like a way to be a part of that. So, around age 19, I started taking testosterone. I was on T for about four years. It changed my body a lot. My voice dropped, I grew facial and body hair, my Adam's apple became prominent, and my hairline started receding. I lived as a man during that time.
But deep down, I think I always knew it wasn't right for me. Two things happened that made me stop. First, I went through a type of therapy called DBT, which helped me deal with my obsessive thoughts. Second, I was in a near-death car crash. In that moment, I promised God I would stop all the transition stuff. It was like a wake-up call. After that, the male image I had of myself just wasn't important anymore. I stopped obsessing about gender and started to become comfortable just being "me." I stopped taking testosterone when I was 23.
My views on gender completely changed. I don't believe in masculine or feminine traits anymore. I think the only thing that makes a man "manly" is being male, and the only thing that makes a woman "feminine" is being female. Everything else—likes, dislikes, personality—is just being a unique human being. Society needs to stop associating hobbies or traits with a specific gender.
Coming off testosterone, a lot of things changed back. My body hair returned to normal, and my periods came back. But some changes are permanent. I still have to shave my face twice a week, I have an Adam's apple, my voice is permanently lower than it was originally, and I have a receded hairline from male pattern baldness. I've wasted money on laser hair removal that was a scam, and I'm now looking into electrolysis and hair transplant surgery to correct these permanent changes.
It's been over ten years since I stopped, and I've built a whole life. I've been married twice and have three children. Neither of my husbands ever knew about my past. I pass as female in public, though sometimes my voice might confuse someone on the phone. Having children definitely helped solidify that I'm female, but it was around age 23 that I naturally started wanting a family, which coincided with me stopping T.
I don't really have regrets, but I see it as a chapter of my life that I had to go through. I benefited from non-affirming therapy, and the whole experience led me to question everything, even religion—I converted to Islam for a while because of my promise, but I've since left. Gender just isn't a big deal to me anymore. I'm content being a woman, and I love being a mom. The whole experience taught me about self-love and acceptance, which is what I think is most important.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | I was a tomboy and disliked the gender stereotypes placed on girls. |
| Puberty | I developed an eating disorder (anorexia) due to discomfort with my developing female curves. |
| 19 | I started taking testosterone (T) and began living as a man. |
| 19-23 | I was on testosterone for 4 years. |
| 23 | I went through DBT therapy and was in a near-fatal car crash. I promised God I would stop transitioning and ceased taking T. |
| 23+ | I detransitioned. My body hair and periods returned, but I was left with permanent changes like facial hair growth, a lower voice, an Adam's apple, and a receded hairline. |
| 23+ (over 10 years) | I got married, had three children, and built a life as a woman. I am now looking into electrolysis and hair transplantation to correct permanent changes from T. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/catummi:
its been 8 years its rarely ever on my mind 😆 i actually had an entire marriage and two kids with someone (now my ex) who didnt even know of my trans/detrans history at all 🤷🏾♀️ i still have to shave my face twice a week which is super annoying lol but even doing so im not usually thinking about why i grow the beard (like having been on t) it just feels like a weird oddity about myself i deal with
i actually got scammed with the lazer hair removal, i wasted 1200$ on a year of scam treatments 😑 i can still grow a beard, i still have shave twice a week atleast... its super obnocious lol but it is alot sparcer after the treatments i went through, just still growing though
when i can afford it i plan to go through actualy lazer removal treatments, i forget what the lady i talked to told me but theres a kind thats lazor reduction and one thats actually removal, though both call themself removal... i’d just bring this up if planning to look for treatment
haha its all the same to me 🤷🏾♀️ i still feel like the same me regardless, tho being a girl its annoying dealing with all the periods and emotional sensitivity hormone influxes brings and as a man its most annoying dealing with all the lust and increase in aggression
i guess also as a women u get undenyably more attension (both good and bad) but as an effeminant gay dude (and being trans) u deal with good and bad attension too
sorry if im being too frank 🤭 but thats my experiance
i feel it rly doesnt matter to me what gender i am, i’d be fine to be a man again but since im biologically not it takes to much time/money/effort to keep that up and im lazy and content either way so girl it is! lol i do love baring kids and being a mom though so there is that (i have two kids)
gender just isnt a big deal to me, it is what it is and i rly just dont think about it at all where it was constantly on my mind being trans 🤷🏾♀️
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 im not an “autistic lesbian”, but im so glad we as detransitioned peoples are actually getting publicity!
i relate to the first girl, i had an eating disorder to and i think that really played into it, also that dealing with feelings of gender disphoria should be looked at in other ways too
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 aplaud this
idk tbh... ive rarely expressed my views on this for fear of backlash, u kno? im not anti-lgbt rights rly or anything... like im not trying to bash anyone, i just want awareness for the reality of the situation bevause i was trans myself u kno? ive heard people make remarks at detrans people being simular to people who think they can therapy or “pray the gay away” but its nothing like sexuality, totally beleive homosexuality is legit even tho im completely heterosexual and actually BECAUSE im undenyably heyerosexual is why its easy to understand lol ive tried trying to be with someone of same gender ik its just not something (i, atleast) can make happen 🤷🏾♀️
sorry im rambling agaib
for me i was annorexic and i didnt like the curves and changes my body was going through from puberty and assosiated wanting to not have these curves as wanting to be male, as well as i was a tomboy as a kid so put two and two together thinking that meant i was a supposed to be a guy, because of the body disphoria and my likes in childhood. i was also under the impression men were better lol through whatever subliminal means you know when i was younger there was alot more bashing of female stuff like periods or girls using the wahroom etc as taboo, and things like men get old and handsom but women get ugly growing older, women cant be funny/comedians etc lol all bs ideas of course but i think those ideas in the society made me look at myself like less as a female and i wanted to be more.
also being gay was a big “it” thing, so i’d get to be apart of that since im a straight girl/was a gay guy
all in all, shouldve listened to my mom 🤷🏾♀️ mom knows best lol
anyway since being a guy through transition i realized that no, im not a guy. i actually had a near death experiance and told god i’d stop the whole transition stuff so i did and actually converted to islam (and in islam i RLY leanred im not a guy nor is there anything praiseworthy to the male gender over the female 😂) anyways left islam too now long story sorry, anyone can message me if they want
body hair yes actually! i still shave my face twice a week but i think all my body hair is back to normal now, nothing grows on my chest or belly or anywhere else it didnt used to before T 😊
my voice is lower than it priginally was but not so low that i dont sound like a female over the phone, but i can still do a pretty good deep old man rover singing voice if i wanted to 😆 which is kinda fun
thank you for the compliment. those are the types of things i got from people about the situation, but ik how i looked befote i ever took T so ik the changes to me it made and it feels nice to look closer back to how i did beforehand and possibly be like how i wouldve looked if i’d never transitioned
its a long process, lots of lazer/electrolysis, hair restoration, fillers etc its very expensive to correct the changes i had left from taking hormones
maybe a tiiiiiiny bit, but tbh thats mostly the same. things that perminantly changed/stayed are: the aforementioned, beard growth, adams apple cartilage, the extra nose cartilage, and some extra chin/jawline cartilage, and a bit of the voice drop but didnt stay as low as it was but it just didnt raise back to original pitch either
i didnt have any surgeries actually, sorry wish i could help more there...
pregnancy makes your hormones crazy for sure but typically its like in pregnancy u get better head hair growth but can also get weird facial/body hair growth, than after pregnancy u get alot of hair loss simular like being on T) so it balances out i think... and going through multiple pregnancies and baby feeding deffinately impacts the chest thats for sure but idk in what way if u were to have had top surgery 🤔
my voice is deffinately higher than it was while i was on T, but also deffinately not the same pitch it was pre-T. its enough to pass normaly as female over the phone but different enough to sing old man river pretty well lol