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Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's comments display:
- A consistent, personal narrative of being a young desister who identified as FTM.
- Specific, lived experiences with social transition, binding, and internal community dynamics.
- Emotionally charged opinions that align with the known passions of the community.
- No contradictions or generic, bot-like language. The advice given is personal and nuanced.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort with puberty made me believe I was a boy from age 13. Online communities reinforced this, and I rebelled against my father by embracing a toxic masculinity. I bound my chest unsafely, which still causes me pain, and had plans to medically transition. Just before turning 17, I found examples of masculine women and realized I could just be myself. I reidentified as female and am so grateful I figured it out before making permanent changes to my body.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was really young. I was a hardcore trans kid for about four years, from around age 13 to 17. I was born female, but I became deeply uncomfortable with my body when I hit puberty. I hated my breasts and felt a lot of anxiety about developing a more womanly shape. I think a lot of this was just a general discomfort with puberty itself, but at the time, I was convinced it meant I was a boy.
I spent a lot of time online, especially on Tumblr, and I was heavily influenced by what I saw there. I got really into trans ideology and started identifying as FTM. I created all these complicated labels for myself, like multigenderflux, which was a combination of multigender and genderflux. It felt like a way to finally have an identity that fit, but looking back, it was more about escapism than anything real. It was a way to escape from the low self-esteem and depression I was feeling.
My home life wasn't great. My father constantly told me I was actually a girl and tried to force me to be more feminine. This didn't help me at all; it just pushed me further into my trans identity as an act of rebellion. I became toxically masculine and even made fun of other FTMs who weren't as masculine as I was. I was trying so hard to prove something.
I was also really confused about my sexuality. I thought I was attracted to men, but it was all just hypothetical situations and what I now see as compulsory heterosexuality—or in my case, as someone identifying as a guy, compulsory homosexuality. When I tried to tell my old friends that I only liked women, they shut me down, saying I was "obviously joking." But the truth was, the last time I touched a penis was as a sperm cell. I had a lot of internalized stuff to work through.
I never did anything medical, but I did bind my chest. I used multiple sports bras, which was super unhealthy. I only did it for about three months, but I still have constant sharp rib pains from it. My ex bound with four small bras and almost died; her ribs moved inward, and the hospital said she could have punctured a lung. I always tell people to use a proper binder if they're going to do it, and to get a size larger, because it's so dangerous otherwise.
I had plans to start testosterone the day I turned 18 and get top surgery that same summer. I was completely set on it. But right before I turned 17, I started to reconsider. Seeing positive things about masculine women online really helped me. I realized I could be a masculine woman and that was okay. I didn't need to change my body to be who I am.
I reidentified as a female just before I turned 17, and I'm so incredibly grateful I figured it out then instead of after medically transitioning. I can't even imagine having to go through a medical detransition on top of everything else. I don't regret my social transition because it was a part of my journey and how I figured things out, but I definitely regret the pain I put myself through and the toxic mindset I was in.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's not as rigid as I once thought. For me, it was never really about being a man. It was about discomfort with puberty, internalized issues, and a need to escape from myself. Sexuality and gender aren't defining factors; you just need to be a good person and be true to yourself. I needed to go through that journey on my own terms to finally understand that.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started identifying as FTM, began social transition. Heavily influenced by online communities. |
| 13-16 | Identified as trans, used complex labels (multigenderflux), bound chest unsafely with sports bras. |
| 17 | Reconsidered gender identity, influenced by positive representations of masculine women. |
| 17 | Stopped identifying as trans, reidentified as a female. |
| 17 | Expressed gratitude for avoiding medical intervention (planned T and top surgery at 18). |
Top Comments by /u/chanchany228:
Yeah I'm actually really happy that I reidentified at 17 instead of when I was older because I had plans to go on T the day I turned 18 & get top surgery that summer lmao. I can't even imagine what I would've done if I had to medically detransition on top of everything else.
for me my "attraction" to men was all hypothetical situations, & compulsory heterosexuality. (or in the case when i identified as ftm, compulsory homosexuality.) When I tried to tell my old friends that I only like women, they all shut me down, saying that I was "obviously joking" & "clearly liked sucking dick" even though the last time I touched a penis was as a sperm cell.
I would say to just give yourself time. I'm only 17 & it took me a year to figure this out, after 4 years of being a hardcore trans kid. Your discomfort with dating men as a woman, but not as a man, could probably be you internalizing others acceptance towards gay males over straight females. Or you could actually not like men.
No matter what you are who you are right now. Sexuality isn't a defining factor in who you are. Just be a good person & hopefully good things will come.
tell her three sports bras are super unhealthy & from a person that bound that way for only three months I still have constant sharp rib pains from it, even though my ribs have not visibly moved out of place
also if the bras are small enough I would be EXTREMELY concerned for her health because my ex had a D cup or larger, bound with 4 A cup bras from 6th grade, & almost died. Her ribs moved at least two inches inwards, & the hospital staff said that if she kept it up she had a very real chance of puncturing her lungs.
For her own physical health, get her a gc2b binder. She could easily take extra bras to school & put them on there, & then take them off before she gets home. Binding with a binder still has it's risks but bras & bandages can easily kill someone.
I know you said you don't support binding, but if you get it a size larger than her measurements, it will still bind, & she'll have absolutely no issues breathing (as long as she wears it responsibly.)
One time on Tumblr I reblogged a detransition positivity post onto my detransition blog & then got called a TERF.
I didn't even self-identify as a feminist at the time. That was the only post on my blog. My bio said I was detrans & that was it.
They support detrans & reidentified cis people as long as we don't talk about our experiences.
transmasculine means youre afab & trans, but not necessarily FTM. usually used by afab nonbinary people that wish to medically transition
multigender is having multiple gender identities
genderflux is when the intensity of your gender shifts
i combined the previous two terms into one, creating multigenderflux
My father constantly telling me I was actually a girl & trying to make me do feminine things did not help me desist. It actually pushed me farther into trans ideology as an act of rebellion & a way to somehow prove myself to him. I ended up being toxically masculine & making fun of other FTMs that weren't as toxically masculine as I was.
She needs to go through this journey on her terms. If you want to show her some videos I would recommend positive things about masculine women. That's what really got me reconsidering my gender & what it means to me.
For the self-harm thing, please convince her to go to therapy for that. I used to self-harm as well & my summer days were spent worrying about people seeing my scars & judging me for it.
I hope she'll be okay soon, or at least not hurting herself.
I can't really help much because I never did anything medical but knowing you have an issue & the will to fix the issue are the first steps to healing. I have faith that you will figure this all out by the time you're 18. Don't rush into anything, you have so much time left to think about these things.