genderaffirming.ai 

Reddit user /u/chococheese419's Detransition Story

female
hated breasts
regrets transitioning
trauma
influenced online
influenced by friends
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
only transitioned socially
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The user's comments are highly specific, emotionally charged, and internally consistent with the perspective of a desister who is deeply critical of gender ideology and transition care due to personal trauma (AGP partner, FGM/trafficking survival). The language is nuanced, complex, and shows a personal investment in the topic over a sustained period, which is not typical of inauthentic accounts.

About me

My journey started when puberty hit and I felt a deep hatred for my female development, seeing my body as a betrayal. I was influenced by online friends into thinking a transmasculine identity was the only way to be a masculine woman, which led me to socially transition. I was later trapped in a horrifically abusive relationship with a man who identified as a woman, and when I escaped and desisted, my old friends abandoned me. I now see my discomfort was rooted in trauma and the difficulties of being female, not in being born the wrong sex. I regret ever transitioning and believe we need to offer real psychological support instead of encouraging medicalization.

My detransition story

My journey with all of this is messy and rooted in a lot of pain. Looking back, I see now that my desire to transition was a way to escape from being a woman, not a genuine need to become a man. A lot of it was about trauma and not being able to handle the expectations and vulnerabilities that came with being female.

I think my discomfort started in puberty. I hated developing breasts and everything that came with becoming a woman. I felt like my body was betraying me. At the time, I didn't have anyone to tell me that it was okay to be a masculine woman, that I could be a "stud" without having to change my body. Instead, I found acceptance online and among friends who were also exploring non-binary and transmasculine identities. I was influenced by them, and it felt like the only way to be free from the discomfort I felt.

My thinking on gender now is that a lot of gender dysphoria, especially in young people, is caused by trauma and the difficulty of dealing with patriarchal expectations. We need better support for kids that doesn't immediately jump to hormones and surgery. The real response to gender dysphoria should be wraparound support, including psychotherapy that isn't just pro-transition. I needed someone to help me work through my issues, not affirm a new identity that would lead me to medically harm myself.

I was in a terribly abusive relationship with a man who identified as a woman. He had what I now understand is autogynephilia (AGP), and he was insane. The relationship was forced on me by my social circle at the time. He was abusive in every way, including rape, and even called himself the mother of my late daughter, which was a whole other level of horrific. When I finally escaped and later desisted from identifying as trans, a lot of my transmasculine and non-binary friends dropped me and sided with him, which was a second betrayal.

I have serious regrets about my transition. I never had surgery or took hormones, but I socially transitioned for a time, and I see now how close I came to making irreversible mistakes. I believe it's evil that we allow teens to get parts of their bodies chopped off. The minimum age for hormones should be 18 and for surgery, 21. Cross-sex hormones are disabling, and starting them young just makes that worse. I see the push for child transition as a form of child abuse, and as a survivor of FGM, I see parallels there. It's like "woke FGM."

I benefited from stepping away from pro-transition thinking. Seeing the ideology for what it is was like a wake-up call. I even think it functions like a psyop, perfectly designed to destroy leftist movements from the inside by making people ignore basic reality.

Here is a timeline of the main events I remember:

My Age Event
Early Teens (Puberty) Started hating my breasts and female development. Felt intense discomfort with becoming a woman.
Late Teens / Early 20s Was influenced online and by friends, started identifying as non-binary/transmasculine. Socially transitioned.
Early 20s Was in an abusive relationship with a male partner who identified as a woman (AGP). The relationship involved rape and profound psychological abuse.
Mid-20s Escaped the abusive relationship. Later, desisted from my trans identity.
Mid-20s Lost many friends from the trans community who sided with my abusive ex-partner after I desisted.
Now I regret my social transition. I believe my issues were rooted in trauma, puberty discomfort, and internalized problems, not in being born in the wrong body.

Top Comments by /u/chococheese419:

11 comments • Posting since January 9, 2025
Reddit user chococheese419 (desisted female) comments on Trump's executive order, arguing the minimum age for hormones should be 18 and for surgery should be 21, calling it "evil" to allow teens to get surgeries.
103 pointsJan 29, 2025
View on Reddit

Yeah I think the minimum age for hormones should be 18 and the minimum age for surgery should be 21. It's evil that we allow teens to get parts chopped off anywhere in the world.

These executive orders from trump are so conflicting bc obviously I don't like the guy but this is a rare good thing he's put into effect.

Reddit user chococheese419 (desisted female) explains her abusive relationship with an autogynephilic male who called himself the mother of her late child and committed rape, and how desisting cost her friendships.
27 pointsJan 9, 2025
View on Reddit

holy shit I didn't know there was other people like me.

My AGP ex went the whole nine yards with abuse, including calling himself the mother of my late daughter that he sired. Also rape. He was INSANE. Honestly the relationship was forced by my social circle in the first place.

Worst thing about desisting is that when I did, a lot of transmasculine / female nonbinary (now-ex) friends dropped me for him or tried to support him bc I sent a nasty message to him months after we broke up / I escaped, depending on how you want to put it.

Reddit user chococheese419 (desisted female) explains that Trump's executive order isn't motivated by care for kids, arguing the real solution to gender dysphoria is therapy for trauma and patriarchal expectations, not transition.
25 pointsJan 29, 2025
View on Reddit

I agree, and that's the thing with trump, I don't feel he's doing it bc he cares for those kids.

Real response to GD is wraparound support including psychotherapy (that isn't pro transition). I think a lot of GD is caused by trauma and difficulty with patriarchal gendered expectations. We need a space for such kids to be gender non conforming without harming themselves. When I was a teen, I needed someone to tell me I could be a stud without being trans, and shown me the risks

Reddit user chococheese419 (desisted female) explains why they believe trans ideology is a patriarchal psyop designed to destroy leftism by undermining women's rights and other core principles.
22 pointsJul 20, 2025
View on Reddit

THANK YOU!! I genuinely believe trans ideology is a psyop because it just feels perfectly formed to destroy leftism from the core. If you can ignore reality when it comes to women's rights, you can be convinced to do the same with disability rights, working class rights, race rights, etc

Reddit user chococheese419 (desisted female) comments on a public figure, supporting her women's shelter work and legal funding while critiquing her focus, and compares child transition to "woke FGM."
21 pointsJul 4, 2025
View on Reddit

I do think she can be a bit overzealous at times and optically to a normie it's like being obsessed with this one group she has no other connection to. However I do like her work for women's shelters and the legal support funding for anyone who was attacked or lost opportunities they were entitled to for having boundaries.

I think it's best to let good works speak for themselves and respond to entitled outrage with her opinions, such as creating these shelters, funding projects around the world for women, do works that are only pertinent to natal females like period supply distribution etc etc. When one does these things and they are only for female women, TIAs pushing boundaries itself will show people the kind of people they are.

I do understand going really hard against child transition though (including PBs), and the beliefs making people think child transition is ok: I think it's child abuse and is just woke FGM imo (I say as an FGM survivor)

Reddit user chococheese419 (desisted female) explains why human traffickers would likely prefer a live woman over an artificial womb, based on her experience as a survivor.
16 pointsJan 16, 2025
View on Reddit

this is dark but I'm going to be honest, as someone who survived being a broodmare in a trafficking context (none of my kids survived very long) traffickers would probably prefer a live woman over an artificial womb (however I still agree that an artificial womb could cause serious issues).

Main thing is a woman already being forced to bear children would also have to care for those children and would not be empowered to do anything about it. Whereas the traffickers themselves need to care for a kid from an artificial womb or need to get someone else to do it. Escaping is extremely rare and the most common way to leave trafficking is via death or being let go (aka traffickers don't want you anymore, which a pregnant woman would almost never be one of those people to be let go).

Reddit user chococheese419 (desisted female) comments on the prioritization of social issues, arguing against a hierarchy of suffering.
15 pointsJan 12, 2025
View on Reddit

well this is the detrans sub so they clearly wanted to ask about trans related things. you could have easily said "here's a similar effort you can also get involved in" rather than trying to say they should only be interested in this thing.

Why wouldn't you start with the group with the fewest protections and the highest rate of abuse?

By that logic you should stop caring about intersex or trans stuff and start worrying about FGM. Actually fuck FGM let's worry about child sex trafficking. Actually fuck CST let's worry about vaccines for children. Actually fuck vaccines let's worry about—

Reddit user chococheese419 (desisted female) explains the disabling long-term health consequences of starting cross-sex hormones before finishing puberty, including high costs, medical dependency, cancer risk, osteoporosis, and infertility.
14 pointsJan 29, 2025
View on Reddit

You don't know where you would be now if things were different. Going on cross sex hormones without finishing puberty also comes with its own issues. How can you say you would be better if you were paying an arm and a leg for endocrinology, your life centered around doctor's appointments, potentially battling cancer and/or osteoporosis, and being infertile?

Cross sex hormones are disabling, and the earlier they're started the more disabling it is. You can't presume you'd be just fine with whatever conditions that would have caused you

Reddit user chococheese419 (desisted female) comments on the difference between gender apathy and nonbinary identity, arguing that nonbinary people are inherently less apathetic than cis people.
11 pointsJul 4, 2025
View on Reddit

Honestly someone who identifies as nonbinary is automatically less apathetic than a cis person who doesn't think about it.

That being said I do think a lot of cis people are gender obsessed and could stand to chill out, and as you said none of that involves identifying as nonbinary. For example average people often let gender expectations control them rather than styling themselves the way they actually want to.

Reddit user chococheese419 (desisted female) comments on the danger of giving in to suicidality threats in gender dysphoria care, comparing it to anorexia treatment.
10 pointsJan 29, 2025
View on Reddit

I definitely agree with you that this EO should offer more support, or should have a complimentary EO offering psychological therapy.

But as for stopping cross sex hormones, it can be titrated, not stopped cold turkey. A 17 year old being on CSH in the first place is a disgrace.

Suicidality as a threat is very dangerous to give in to when it comes to psychiatric care. "Do this or I'll kill myself" "don't do this or I'll kill myself" is extremely harmful for the person making the suicide threats, and if people give in to one thing, it actually increases suicidality over time. I'm not sure if this phenomenon specifically is an aspect of GD, but regardless it is not the proper approach to just agree.

Anorexic: "don't feed me or I'll kill myself, don't put me in treatment or I'll kill myself, give me ozempic or I'll kill myself" what happens if you oblige? then it becomes "don't even suggest new foods to me or I'll kill myself" and the person is stuck in a permanent position of illness. Ofc for anorexia it's more serious bc ana itself can kill you, whereas GD can't.