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Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The comments display:
- A consistent, personal narrative of being on and then stopping testosterone.
- Specific, lived experiences (e.g., physical changes, social interactions, medical appointments).
- Emotional depth and a clear, evolving perspective that aligns with a desister's journey.
- A natural, conversational writing style with varied sentence structure and personal anecdotes.
About me
I started my transition at 18, feeling uncomfortable with my body and influenced by online friends. I was so sure testosterone was right that I started taking it at 19, but I quickly felt like I was playing a role that wasn't me. The loneliness of being seen as a man was worse than I expected, and my health suffered badly after just six months on hormones. I stopped testosterone seven months ago and am now living as a woman again. I finally feel free to be myself, but I deeply regret the physical and social pain that transition caused me.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started when I was 18. I was really uncomfortable with my body during puberty and hated my breasts. I think a lot of it was low self-esteem and depression. I spent a lot of time online and was influenced by what I saw there and by friends who were also exploring their identities. I started by identifying as non-binary, but it quickly escalated to me believing I was a trans man.
I was 100% sure that testosterone was the right path for me. I argued with my parents about it, convinced it wouldn't harm my body. I started taking T when I was 19. At first, I thought it was what I needed, but I quickly realized I was trying to be something I wasn't. I look miserable in all the photos from that time. I used to enjoy putting on makeup and taking selfies, but I stopped all of that because I felt like I had to act a certain way to pass as a cis man. It wasn't me.
The social changes were the hardest part. I work as a barista with all female coworkers. One day it hit me how lonely I felt. I knew that if they had met me as a girl, we would have been much closer. I noticed women avoiding eye contact with me, and I hated that I was starting to be seen as a man. I had to play a role I wasn't prepared for. While I knew about the physical changes, I had no idea what it would do to my social life and how isolated it would make me feel.
My health also took a hit. After only six months on T, my blood work came back really bad, which was the complete opposite of what I was promised. It proved to me that the risk of taking cross-sex hormones, especially when you're young, is not worth it. Everyone reacts differently, and you never truly know what it will do to your body.
I decided to stop testosterone and detransition when I was 19, about seven months ago now. The process of coming off T was uncomfortable. I had a lot of throat pain for a while, which made it hard to talk to customers at my job. It lasted for about a month after I stopped before it started to get better. My voice still cracks sometimes if I laugh too hard, but it has lightened considerably. I'm regaining control of my voice and even find singing along to music helps.
Now, I'm living as a woman again and I feel so free. I can do what I truly enjoy, like wearing makeup, without feeling like crap for it. I'm out to my friends and I finally feel like I can connect with other women properly. I don't regret exploring my identity because it led me back to myself, but I deeply regret taking testosterone. It caused me physical health problems and a lot of social pain. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, especially not young people who are still figuring themselves out.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | Started identifying as non-binary, influenced by online communities and friends. Experienced significant puberty discomfort and hated my breasts. |
| 19 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 19 (after 6 months) | Blood work showed serious health complications. Stopped testosterone and began my detransition. |
| 19 (Present, 7 months off T) | Living as a woman again. Voice is lightening but still cracks occasionally. Throat pain is gone. Feeling free and reconnecting with my female identity. |
Top Comments by /u/chscrz:
i work at a job with only female coworkers and one day it suddenly hit me how lonely i felt. that's not to say that i'm not friends with my coworkers, but i knew that if i had met them as a girl instead we would've been much closer. this was honestly probably my own fault for trying so hard to pass as a cis man but regardless it made me extremely depressed to realize that i couldn't connect with other women the way i used to before. that and noticing other women trying to avoid me or not make eye contact. i hated that i was starting to actually be seen as a man. it felt like i had to play a role that i wasn't prepared for because while i was aware of the changes i would go through regarding my body, there was no way for me to know what it would do to my social life. now that i'm out to my friends and living as a woman again i genuinely feel so free
i want to add that you never truly know what testosterone will do to your body. everyone reacts differently and while there are many trans men living healthy lives, i just do not think the risk of taking cross sex hormones is worth it (especially if you are under 20). believe me i was 100% sure that testosterone wouldn't harm my body, and i even argued with my parents over it, but my blood work after only 6 months on T showed the complete opposite :(
this !!!! i look miserable in all the photos i took while on T and i certainly felt it too. i was trying so hard to be something i was not, especially since i enjoyed putting on makeup for selfies before my transition. it's so freeing to finally be able to do what i truly enjoy and not feel like crap for it
what type of hair do you have? i have pretty thin hair and the length was exactly like yours about a month ago but now it's all at my shoulders and looks more "full," more like feminine short cut! i've noticed that washing my hair more often and thoroughly massaging my scalp in the shower has helped a ton :') also taking vitamin d is good!
it should go away! i had so much throat pain when i first got off T that it even became difficult for me to do my job properly (i'm a barista and talk a Lot with customers) but i realized it started to become less painful after about another month. i'm still only 5 months into my detransition but i have zero throat pain now, not even a little bit of discomfort. the only thing is my voice does still crack if i laugh too hard or try to speak in a really high voice 😅 i will say though, i wasn't on T for as long as you were so it could be different and may take some more time, just try to be patient :')
it actually went great!! i think most of my anxiety came from never having met this doctor, but as soon as she came in i felt so much relief (she's a younger doctor, probably mid 30s) 😭😭😭 she was completely understanding and i even ended up talking about how i used to identify when i originally planned to be as vague as possible. i got my labs done just now and am waiting for the results but she said if i decide that i want to get on birth control i can just shoot her a message and she'll get me started :') such a nice experience. im glad your doctor wasn't judgemental either, but i hope you do end up finding someone with more experience!
this happened to me as well but it eventually went away! my voice has also lightened considerably and still has a ways to go since i've only been off T for about 7 months :') it's crazy how many changes u go through but rest assured that that weird feeling in ur throat is perfectly normal
some doctors really do suck. this was all i was thinking about before my appointment today but surprisingly there was nothing in my medical history that indicated that i was ever on testosterone? all that came up under prescriptions was something i took for my asthma one time last year LOL so i really didn't need to bring it up at all, i only did because my doctor ended up being extremely sweet and understanding. im sorry you had such negative experiences, it really should not have to take much for a medical professional to be professional
i never felt that i was a very good singer but as u said it is extremely satisfying to be able to reach so many different notes! i only sing along to the music i listen to on occasion but since i have no discipline to actually voice train i may just use singing as a way of gaining more control :o