This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's language is nuanced, empathetic, and personal. They offer tailored advice, share personal reflections ("I am a victim of suicide"), and use quotes and reasoning that demonstrate a genuine, thoughtful engagement with the struggles of others, consistent with a passionate desister or detransitioner.
About me
I started as a teenager who felt deep discomfort with my female body, especially during puberty. I found community online and socially transitioned to live as a male, which felt freeing at first. I eventually realized I was using this new identity to escape from deeper issues like depression and low self-esteem. I am grateful I listened to my doubts before making any permanent medical changes. Now, I am at peace living as a female and have learned that real healing comes from within.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I felt a deep discomfort with my body, especially when I went through puberty. I hated the changes I was experiencing; I developed a strong hatred for my breasts and felt completely out of place. I now see this was a mix of body dysmorphia and the normal, but intense, awkwardness of growing up.
I found a lot of community and answers online. The idea that I might be trans made a lot of sense to me at the time. It felt like a solution to all my unease. I was influenced by what I read and by friends who were also exploring their identities. I started identifying as non-binary first, and then later as a trans man. It felt like I had finally found a group where I belonged and a way to escape the feelings I didn't know how to handle.
I socially transitioned. I changed my name and pronouns and asked everyone to see me as male. For a while, this felt incredibly freeing. It satisfied a need I had to be someone else, to shed the skin of the person I was so uncomfortable being. I think a part of it was also internalized homophobia; it was easier to think of myself as a straight man than to come to terms with being a gay woman.
But the doubts never fully went away. I started to realize that the benefits of living as trans were becoming less than the costs. The mental energy it took to maintain that identity was exhausting. I began to understand that my transition was a form of escapism from deeper issues like depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. I was trying to fix an internal problem with an external solution.
I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I am so grateful now that I slowed down and listened to my doubts before making any permanent changes. I eventually told my friends and family that the trans label wasn't for me anymore. It was scary, but the people who truly loved me supported me.
I don’t regret exploring my gender because it was a necessary part of my journey to understand myself. But I do regret that I was so quick to adopt an identity without fully questioning the reasons behind it. I benefited greatly from therapy that wasn't just about affirming a trans identity, but that helped me unpack my trauma and self-esteem issues.
Now, I see gender differently. I think it's less about an innate identity and more of a belief system or a state of mind that people adopt to satisfy a need. For me, that need was to belong and to escape from myself. I’ve learned that real peace comes from dealing with your internal struggles, not from changing your external identity to try and outrun them.
| Age | Date (Approximate) | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 15 | 2017 | Began experiencing intense puberty discomfort and hatred of breast development. |
| 16 | 2018 | Heavily influenced online; began identifying as non-binary. |
| 17 | 2019 | Socially transitioned to living as a trans man. |
| 18 | Late 2019 | Began having serious doubts about my transition. |
| 18 | Early 2020 | Detransitioned; stopped identifying as trans and resumed living as female. |
Top Comments by /u/cindyfl268:
I can't comment from the transgender experience , but my life experience tells me that if you are having ANY doubts, simply slow down. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks but you.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind." ~Dr. Seuss
Best wishes!
Please remember, you can't control their reaction only yours. Even if they are overjoyed and say the wrong thing, so what? You are in charge of your own destiny. Hold your chin up and know that at the end if the day, you answer only to yourself. Wishing you peace and a positive start for the new year!
Please don't feel guilty. It's normal to try out different ideas of yourself as a teen/young adult. Be honest with them and say that for now, trans isn't how you want to be labeled. Those who love you won't mind and those that mind don't matter -Dr. Suess
I think of it like this. You can be trans if you want to. I think of it as more of a state of mind, a belief system, maybe? At some point, being trans satisfied a need that you've had. Maybe it still does? Belonging to a special grouping, a certain status amongst friends online or in person, internalizing homophobia and possibly even feeling relief from gender dysphoria. Which by definition means an uneasy feeling about one's gender expression. Trying to mimic a life lived as the opposite sex can absolutely be done. And for some people, they do derive mental and other internally perceived benefits from that choice. When the benefits become less than the cost for you, it's time to make a change. That's just life.
I hope you choose to share more in this group. There are many very supportive people here. They can better speak to the many details surrounding the issues of the trans experience. And most are a lot less direct than I am. Please don't take my response as one of not caring. Life is a tough road for so many of us. Make choices that will derive the most peace & love for yourself without inflicting pain on others. That's really the best anyone can do.
I wish you clarifying peace in your future.
You've taken the first step towards slowing down. No need to make big decisions tonight. Sit with these feelings and things will eventually clear for you. Do you have a friend that will just listen? If not, what about a family member? Type more here if no one else is available. Sending you good thoughts and healing energy!
You are NOT alone!! Please talk to a family member right away. I am a victim of suicide and you can not wish that status on anyone. https://goo.gl/search/National+Suicide+Prevention+Lifeline National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, Please call for help!