This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "cjgager" appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments show:
- Consistent, nuanced opinions on detransition, medical ethics, and social pressures over a 10-month period.
- Personal engagement with other users, offering tailored advice, empathy, and personal anecdotes (e.g., "i used to wear a vest like that").
- A natural writing style with conversational quirks ("uuummm," "lol," "jmo") and varied sentence structures that are difficult for bots to replicate consistently.
- A clear, sustained focus on the complexities of gender identity, questioning medical practices, and supporting individuals, which aligns with the passionate and often critical perspective of genuine detransitioners and desisters.
The account exhibits the passion and skepticism mentioned in the prompt as typical of real people in this community.
About me
I spent a lot of time in online communities and saw how my general unhappiness and search for meaning was common. I believe a lot of what's called dysphoria is just the normal, awkward discomfort of growing up, which can be mixed with other issues like depression. I became very wary of the social pressure online, where it felt like questioning anything was discouraged. I now think the real solution is learning to accept yourself as you are, rather than trying to change your body to find happiness. After observing so many stories, I'm grateful I never medically transitioned and instead found peace with myself.
My detransition story
Looking back at my whole journey, I think my experience with gender was more about a general unhappiness and a search for meaning than anything specifically wrong with my body. I never medically transitioned myself, but I spent a lot of time in online communities and saw a lot, which made me think deeply about the whole process.
My main feeling is that a lot of what gets called dysphoria might just be the normal discomfort of being human, especially during puberty. Life is hard and awkward, and everyone feels out of place sometimes. I worry that we're too quick to label that normal uneasiness as a sign you need to change your body, especially when you're a teenager. That's a time when your brain is still developing and other mental health issues, like depression or anxiety, often start to show up. It seems dangerous to jump to transitioning as the first and only solution without really exploring those other possibilities first.
I've become really suspicious of the influence of the internet and social pressure. I saw a lot of people, including adults and professionals, pushing a very aggressive agenda. It sometimes felt like being "woke" and accepting was more important than actually helping the individual person. There's a lot of money and social clout involved, and it can feel like a cult where you're not allowed to question anything. I believe it's never transphobic to ask questions or have doubts. A good therapist should help you explore all sides, not just push you in one direction.
I also saw how this can be especially confusing for autistic people, who might already feel like they have to mask who they are to fit in. The idea of transitioning can seem like another way to finally "fit in," but if you have to change your body to be accepted, are you ever really being yourself? I think learning to accept and love yourself as you are is the most important step, before making any permanent changes.
I have serious concerns about how quickly some medical professionals hand out hormones and approve surgeries. I heard stories of people getting hormones after just one appointment, with no real therapy or even basic hormone level tests beforehand. That seems irresponsible. It reminds me of other medical fads in history, like lobotomies, where a "solution" became popular before anyone really understood the long-term effects. We don't know everything about the human body, and permanently altering it, especially for young people, is a huge deal.
I don't regret that I never medically transitioned. My journey was one of observation and questioning, and it led me to believe that for many people, the answer isn't changing their body, but changing how they think about themselves and their place in the world. The goal shouldn't be to achieve a perfect body where you'll finally be happy, because that perfection doesn't exist. The goal should be to find peace with the imperfect person you already are.
My Timeline of Observations and Realizations
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| (Not specified in my comments) | Spent significant time in online communities, observing transition and detransition stories. |
| (Not specified) | Developed a strong belief that underlying mental health issues and the normal difficulties of puberty are often mistaken for gender dysphoria. |
| (Not specified) | Grew concerned about social contagion and the influence of online groups and aggressive activism. |
| (Not specified) | Realized the importance of self-acceptance over physical alteration as a path to peace. |
| (Not specified) | Became critical of medical practices that seem rushed and non-exploratory, akin to historical medical fads. |
Top Comments by /u/cjgager:
oof - so sorry for you
your opinion is basically mine - there is nothing wrong with transitioning but also there is nothing wrong with questioning it either. when you're not allowed to question stuff it becomes more like a cult or an ideology & is missing the point of the individual - the person's actuality - it cares more about protecting the "idea" and misses the actual "human" part of it all.
this is why i like this site - it's open to ideas which is refreshing (at least on reddit)
back in the 30's many neurologists thought that lobotomies were the way to go - even when some of the after-effects were worse than the original diagnoses. https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-surprising-history-of-the-lobotomy
so what happened was - there was a perceived "problem" - agitated people who don't follow orders. a perceived "solution" - cut out the part of the brain that cause agitation. the solution got raved reviews by all the on-going professionals - 'gee, great idea, let's all do it!'
the same thing, imo, has happened with transitioning - especially those who believe that it must be started pre-pubescently. until further studies are done by "well-known authorities" (who, it seems never actually ask the people who actually detrans) and they all agree that maybe it's not a good idea to perform surgery on new or just developing teens - then nothing will probably happen, sadly.
here is a short history of the occurrence of "egg meaning trans" - https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/egg-transgender
seems like a very slow propaganda movie.
yes - you know many people think humans are very delicate when they are babies, but it looks that mentally they are very very malleable and vulnerable when they are just becoming teens. Peer pressure and bullying is such a real thing - we really need to pay attention more to middle school - high school - & especially the internet.
some people, no matter what politics are just godawful & unfortunately your relatives sound like a bunch of unfeeling asshats - sorry for that.
hope you found the help & caring you need(ed) - everyone deserves respect - your folks otoh are absolutely clueless
PLEASE!!! if you are letting comments from Reddit (or insta or twit or snap or ANY social media place) get into your mindspace you are online TOO MUCH!!! Online commentary for many reasons often degrades into negativity since there is no way to make a person agree with you. In the real world someone might punch someone in the face if you disagree - or even kill you (really wars are just really BIG disagreements). So don't take it to heart that people disagreeing with you means much of anything. Everyone is allowed an opinion. Sounds like you need to either shut off the phone/computer and/or - stop trying to "reason" with people who don't want to agree with you. You are like arguing with flat-earthers - some people just CAN'T BE REASONED WITH!!!
https://www.kqed.org/education/532334/is-the-internet-making-you-meaner
sounds that some extremists may be actually becoming delusional. there is a certain limit i think when transgenderism becomes borderline psychotic & i am not in any way saying that trans people are mental - but if you start believing that a trans female can become pregnant & a trans male can impregnate - there is a limit where such delusions DO become a mental delusion/obsession. those people really ought not transition since that would be fueling their illusions/delusions instead of addressing them. (jmo)
Generally once I made the conscious decision to transition I had virtually no doubts. I had been feeling dysphoria and fantasising about living life as a girl from as young as 12 years old. I tried my best to repress my feelings throughout my teens and early 20s and acted as the most masculine guy I could but I had serious bouts of depression and suicidal ideation during this time.
sounds like you are very goal oriented but now that you are basically done with all the transitioning you are basically feeling empty because you have nothing to look forward to.
but sometimes goals are just a strawman to the actual thing/event/problem that is really going on. it's good you have friends & a bf to be there for you - but you might need to really investigate why you had feelings of dysphoria to begin with. were you afraid of puberty? did something happen to a relationship that maybe changed or you thought changed because of puberty? i'm not a psychoanalyst but it sounds like you need to delve into the real reason you like the "going to" but not the "being there" part of your life journey.
good luck to you and best wishes
there will never be a time when you (or anyone actually) ever "fit in 100%" - - - the main reason being - a lot of real life sucks & doesn't have anything to do with transitioning or not. humans are imperfect - you are imperfect - i am imperfect - everyone is also imperfect - there is NO ONE out there perfect.
this is why i question people pushing transitioning when a person is still a teen - puberty is a time when hormones are awakened the brain learns new ways of social interacting. it's also a time when underlying mental "problems" might surface - & i'm not especially saying that transitioning is a mental problem - but changes in hormones and brain development during pubescence do let schizophrenic, bipolar, depression and anxiety disorders surface at that time.
Dysphoria? the general uneasiness of life - a general depression - a not so happy feeling? everyone has it - even happy people at times wonder about meanings & why & my body sucks - it IS a part of life - that life really oft-times is not wonderful. no matter how many "transitions" a person may go through (& there are a boatload of all different kinds of transitions, not just bodily) they have to first learn to accept themselves as is.
she sounds like she cares about the children & i hope her message will get through.
really don't understand why it seems that a "gender dysphoria" issue has grown in the last 8-10 (?) years. she might be onto something when saying it may be related to social contagion.
i always feel sad that such issues are made political when it ought to circle around a child's/person's mental health & well-being. people arguing over which "side" you're on seem so superfluous when such seriousness of life-changing acts are being discussed.
you're BEAUTIFUL no matter whatever your choice.
lol - i used to wear a vest like that - if not college grad - take them up on their education benefit it's worth it. if don't mind overnights and/or traveling look into Walmart remodeling - it's big bucks after a few yrs if you can keep up with it.
Good Luck!