This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's writing is highly personal, nuanced, and emotionally consistent. They share detailed, specific experiences with transition, detransition, and internal conflict that are complex and difficult to fabricate convincingly. Their perspective aligns with a desister/detransitioner who is critically supportive of others while grappling with their own decisions.
About me
I was born female and started testosterone in my early twenties because I thought becoming a man was the only way to be a masculine lesbian. I liked the changes at first, but I eventually realized my problem was in my mind, not my body, and that I was a woman all along. I stopped taking testosterone because I didn't want to be a lifelong medical patient and I want to have children someday. I don't regret my journey because it taught me I can just be a masculine woman without changing my body. Now, I'm focusing on building a life where I'm not constantly thinking about my gender.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and I'm still figuring it out. I was born female and grew up in a very strict, fundamentalist Christian home. Because of that background, I couldn't even consider transitioning when I was a teenager, and in a way, I'm glad for that now. I went through my natural female puberty and developed fully, which I think gave me a better foundation to make decisions from later on.
In my early twenties, I finally started testosterone. I liked a lot of the changes it gave me, like a deeper voice and a more masculine appearance. I liked being seen as a man in my day-to-day life; it felt comfortable in a superficial way. For a long time, I identified as a trans man. But deep down, I always had this nagging feeling. I started to see that maybe I was a woman who just really liked the idea of being a man. I’m a lesbian, and I think a lot of my desire to transition was tied up in expressing my masculinity and my attraction to women. I didn't feel confident that I could be a masculine woman, so becoming a man felt like the only option.
I’ve always struggled with what people call dysphoria, especially around my chest and voice. I’ve also had a lot of discomfort with my body just feeling "incomplete." But over time, I realized that my problem was probably in my mind, not my body. I started to feel like I was playing pretend. As an adult, I don't want to base huge, permanent decisions on feelings alone. My body is female, and that's just a fact, like gravity. My feelings about it don't change that reality.
I decided to detransition. I stopped testosterone because I started thinking about the long term. I don't want to be a medical patient forever, dealing with injections and doctor's appointments. It’s exhausting. I also really want to be a mother one day and give birth, and I didn't want to do anything that could risk my fertility. Removing healthy organs or making permanent changes based on a feeling just didn't seem sensible to me anymore.
I don't regret transitioning entirely because it helped me learn about myself. But I do have regrets about not seeing other options sooner. I wish I had known that I could be a masculine woman, a lesbian who uses he/him pronouns, without medically transitioning. I’ve come to see myself as a woman of transmasculine experience, or just a woman who is adjacent to men, rather than a man myself. It was a relief to realize that accepting I am a woman takes away the power of someone trying to hurt me by calling me one. If I accept it, they can't use it against me.
There were also some negative physical things about being on testosterone. I had recurring bacterial vaginosis for several months after starting T, which I never had before and was really unpleasant. I also noticed that my nose seemed to get bigger from the cartilage growth, which was a weird change.
Now, I'm trying to find a sense of self outside of gender. I want to get back to my hobbies and build a life where I’m not constantly thinking about transition. It’s hard. The desire to retransition medically still comes and goes in waves—I even retransitioned once before—but I’m committed to not going back. The simpler my life is, and the less I do to my body, the better I feel overall. I’m focusing on expressing myself in other ways, like changing my wardrobe or getting piercings, and trying to be a kind, gentle person regardless of how I’m seen.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teenage Years | Lived as a female; experienced gender dysphoria but could not transition due to my family's fundamentalist Christian beliefs. |
| Early 20s | Started taking testosterone. |
| Mid-Late 20s | Stopped testosterone and began socially detransitioning. Realized I am a woman. |
| Late 20s | Briefly retransitioned medically by going back on testosterone, but stopped again. |
| Present (Late 20s) | Living as a detransitioned female; identifying as a lesbian and a masculine woman. |
Top Comments by /u/cthelightinub4:
Here are (most of) my notes:
- I'd love to see a documentary like this without the buzzwords that Matt Walsh uses so that the interviewees are defensive, that was the most frustrating thing for me to watch.
- I think Scott Newgent's piece was really important, and I felt like a whole separate documentary about the pharmaceutical industry profiting off of transition is something I'd really want to support.
- I also feel like the therapist Sara Stockton towards the end was important to hear too, out of everyone in the documentary, including the host Matt Walsh, she was the most middle ground person and I think that she properly represents a more general public reaction of concern. She's supportive until she started to worry about the long term affects because she cares about trans people. That's so relatable to me.
- I find it upsetting that Dr. Marci Bowers finds trans abled people (i.e. people with BIID) as "kookie" and mentions it being a fetish and illness. I find people with BIID to even be more "valid" than trans people in the sense that they can actually become disabled, and you can't change sex. It's hypocrisy to dismiss that group like that as a fetish so confidently and casually while also (I assume) fight against people who say being transgender is a fetish. The parallels between the two groups are fairly similar, even down to phantom pain.
- The pediatrician Dr. Michelle Forcier was disappointing, I think it's off the wall that she treats gender in young children as they have a good imagination while prescribing them blockers and hormones. Idk what else to say. I just would not treat children the way she does, and she claims to treat hundreds of them.
- I do agree with the professor Dr. Patrick Grzanka on Matt Walsh being condescending and rude and he's framed to be seen as over-reactive when his hunches about Matt's intentions were absolutely correct. I do think his reaction to Matt saying "what if I say I am Black" was just... not it. But I absolutely get why he was defensive to that degree and I know his intentions are to be loving and accepting of others.
- I do think that in general it was messed up that Matt made a cover-up organization to trick these people into doing interviews.
- For athletes, we keep talking about who's winning what. It's not about who's winning to me, it's about, do you qualify to be in a certain section of a sport. You can be in last place and still not belong in that sport designation. The focus on winning was far too much in my opinion.
- Continuing with sports, I don't like that Caster Semenya was being put in the category of transgender women by showing her picture alongside the trans women athletes montage for multiple reasons.
- Going to one small part of the world and interviewing the Maasi and then claim the Maasi to be representative of the entire rest of the world is silly. If they are going to go international (outside of North America) at least be comprehensive. EDIT: Matt did say elsewhere that this was an intentional choice because of how people would choose an obscure culture to prove the existence of trans people and multiple genders; he did this to put his own spin on it. But I do think that the execution was poor and it just came across as him being silly, I think he could’ve interviewed a person who did use obscure cultures to prove transness and then right after did his bit with the Maasai.
- I'm also curious about the long term use of hormones giving cancer. I've heard it before but just in passing, it's never been in depth. I think the documentary missed an opportunity there, and also with further highlighting the effects of HRT and surgeries.
- This last one is a nitpick: the psychiatrist Dr. Miriam Grossman, although I liked her history lesson and appreciate her contributions to the conversation, I don't like how she's a bit too dismissive of children's sense of self. It's definitely not in the realm of Dr. Forcier by any means but also not everything a child is is just one humongous phase who is wrong about everything about themselves.
I have more thoughts and notes but I don't want this comment to be too long.
The fact that it is the single most trafficked live-stream event in the history of the Daily Wire I think speaks to the fact that many of these people are possibly trafficking the documentary are probably not conservative and just want to watch it without subscribing to the Daily Wire. As a leftist I am dissatisfied with the circular logic of "a woman/man/nonbinary person is someone who identifies as one". How can we protect marginalized communities if we have no true definition to them?
While I don't think the documentary is entirely fair, it does shine a light on how ridiculous it all feels in this current age of LGBTQ+ and the street interviews displayed the kind of climate that I felt I was drenched in for the past dozen years of me being out as trans. I don't think Matt Walsh was the right person for the point he was trying to drive home. This shouldn't be on a conservative site, this should be on a progressive site or centrist site with people who are like Sara Stockton. More detransitioners, more doctors, more researchers, and they can be anonymous like that lady who talked about Lia Thomas. And also, get trans people who are also critical of all of this! And edge away from including people like Jordan Peterson. That's my take!
I relate heavily to this. It’s a big conflict for me and I feel misplaced. I do have these conversations on a 1 to 1 level with my inner circle on occasion, but in terms of being vocal, I just can’t or don’t know how to do that. Saying that the sexes of male and female are real and have distinctions between them that does warrant acknowledgement and being taken into account when making medical and social decisions is not harmful to trans people. It’s a good thing. It goes beyond the political, if something isn’t as good or correct as it seems we need to know that info even if the result isn’t what we would’ve hoped. The betterment of people (trans and cis alike) > ideas/political stances, always.
I’d feel this way if gender dysphoria wasn’t considered a medical condition by and large. If it’s diagnosed by doctors and transition is the treatment, then it is on the doctors. People aren’t wrong for wanting relief, and if it’s not treated as a cosmetic choice, the doctors are making these medical discernments for people
I do feel differently about informed consent, but that’s on a case my case basis for me. Informed consent is not nearly as informed as it should be, and people should be assessed to have better informed consent on their specific case and the range of consequences, including the possibility of detransition. That would still be at least partially on the medical providers
❣️You don’t have to do anything or change anything to be a woman. A woman’s life could look like so many things, including yours, regardless of femininity and blending in as a woman. But the question is, how do you want to be in general? You said you want to look soft, which I understand. Do you mean soft as in your face and body features or soft as in aesthetic?
And I get fearing being visible in that way, in the beginning I also tried to feminize and people assumed I was a Black trans woman. It depends on your area and how safe you are, but in my experience nothing too terrible happened to me. Usually looks of disapproval, but if I felt really uncomfortable I would ask to walk/ be places with someone
I’ve had a partner with bottom growth and I liked it/ it wasn’t an issue. I’ve had a partner with a natural quite large clitoris and I liked it/ it wasn’t an issue. Sadly I usually start to sweat if my partner’s clitoris is too small. All of my partners liked my bottom growth and most preferred it over a smaller clitoris
I’ve never heard of people (unless they’re really young and ignorant teenagers) having issues with vulva variances in general. I’ve heard too many horror stories about vulva surgeries, losing sensation is a major negative life changing event/ trauma. Because of that I wouldn’t worry too much about immature future partners; no one is worth having those kinds of surgeries for
Yea I have really bad bouts of “dysphoria” & I did retransition at one point & have considered retransitioning (but only medically, not socially. I don’t think I ever want to socially retransition). For me it’s normal, it goes up & down.
Medical transition is just not worth it. I don’t want to be a patient forever. It’s honestly wack & the less I do to my body, the less I think about “gender”, the simpler my life is.
Part of what 0dd3ven said can come across as dismissive to the desisting experience. We are social creatures and social integration is significant and life-impacting. Don’t feel afraid to post if posting will help you; speaking about your own experience to get support isn’t talking over others
Is there ANY possibility you’d detransition? Well, yea. People should factor that into their decision making. It’s healthy to consider all possibilities instead of trying to find ways to eliminate possibilities. There’s also possibility you’ll be forever transitioned.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve had dysphoria or how intensely you’ve had it or where it came from imo & ime. Detransition is a possibility. That doesn’t mean you’re not suffering & it doesn’t mean you’re “less real” it’s about what is actually good for you overall. It doesn’t mean transitioning is the best option or even detransition is the best option.
Honestly I started detransitioning because I was berated for being same sex attracted. I’ve been “dysphoric” my whole life since my first memories. Still not entirely sure why. But it’s not about how I feel. I just need to make sensible decisions for my body & the health of my body. Everything transition-related is entirely cosmetic & doesn’t make me a man to any degree, no matter how many people read me as a man or aided me in believing I was a man in any way.
Me enjoying transitioning in the way I did was irrelevant. I also wanted to preserve my fertility as best as I could. I don’t want to remove organs off of “feelings” i.e. dysphoria. I decide that my problem is in my brain, not my body, so I should have mental health related treatments. & it was also the little things like, it’s annoying to inject myself every week or that I looked older on testosterone. It’s a mix of things.
I just don’t want to play pretend to the point that I think it’s real. When I was a kid I pretended. I’m an adult. I don’t desire fixating on dreams or how complete I’d be in the future when I am fine now. Again, regardless of whether I feel incomplete now. Objectively, my body is & always will be what it is supposed to be already, a female body. Like how gravity exists & it doesn’t need my feelings on the matter, you know?
In my experience, personality helps. Having immaculate etiquette and going out of your way to being kind makes you appear as a softer person. I identify as having a soft personality, and although I look masculine/ androgynous, the way I move through the world I intentionally try to be very gentle and people tend to recognize that even when I'm read as a man. Also, having accessories that display that softness helps, like a fun or pastel phone case, or beads/bands in your hair or a nice headwrap, a feminine watch, if you wear glasses some dainty glasses, feminine chains, feminine earrings and piercings, nice colored socks and shoelaces, feminine looking earbuds for your music, a soft backpack, etc etc. Those things can balance out your appearance and make you more androgynous (again, in my experience!) and I find that it boosts my self esteem when I take care of my appearance in that way
Online shopping is also great in order to get clothes that you want in your size. It's not easy and I struggle with it too, but if you see something on the internet that you like, try to reverse image search it or ask what it is and where people got it
In terms of your religion, I'm sorry that they're not accepting of trans people. That's really tough. May I ask what your religion is? Maybe there might be more accepting sects, maybe not near you but possibly on the internet where you can find support. In terms of top surgery, I can't in good faith give you advice on it, but I will say that you are allowed to have complex feelings on it regardless of being a man or a woman
Firstly, your English is great! Completely understood everything
Secondly, I’m sorry that your home life for so long was in an abusive environment and that has affected you deeply. And that people have been unaccepting of detrans people at your school, truly the adults in charge should know it’s occurring and take action.
The last thing is that, from looking at your Why You Could Be Trans list, none of those things indicate transness to a great degree. Women/girls can like masculine clothes and be masculine-presenting and have masculine hobbies (especially video games). And on the flip-side, trans men/boys can be feminine and have feminine hobbies. As for having no problems with masculine pronouns, that is usually said to be an indicator of transness but if it’s something that you just don’t have a problem with instead of greatly preferring it, it doesn’t seem to be a strong indicator here. There are also women/girls who do like or go by masculine pronouns (like me) albeit they are usually connected to the lesbian/ stonebutch community as an expression of their masculinity
In terms of feeling distress that your body isn’t as feminine as the girls around you, that’s definitely (unfortunately) normal! Even feeling distress that your body doesn’t look like others around you in general is normal
And shakedog966767 explained detrans and desisting well
In terms of friends not accepting that you’re probably not trans, those people would not be your friends if something like this causes them to avoid you or bully you. If desisting is right for you, I’d encourage you to try and meet new people as a girl and interact with them and have them as friends. Prioritize your comfort and do what feels right (with help and support from people like your art teacher)