This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user identifies as a male desister with AGP (autogynephilia), a highly specific and personal detail that aligns with known detransitioner experiences. The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and self-reflective voice, showing empathy, internal conflict, and a personal investment in the topic—all hallmarks of a genuine user.
About me
I started questioning my gender because of a deep unhappiness I didn't understand, which I now see was driven by depression and a specific fetish. I believed these feelings meant I was a woman and I identified as trans online for a while. I'm grateful I never medically transitioned, as it wouldn't have solved my real problems with self-hatred. I've come to understand that I am a man, and these feelings don't define my identity. Now, I'm focused on accepting myself and healing my mental health directly.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started with a deep unhappiness that I didn't understand. For a long time, I thought I might be trans, but looking back, I realize it was driven by other things entirely. I struggled with severe depression and suicidal thoughts for years, and I had a lot of self-hatred. I now believe a major part of what made me think I was a woman was a fetish called autogynephilia (AGP). The feelings and fantasies associated with AGP were the primary reason I ever questioned my gender.
I also had some internalized issues that played a role. I had developed some misogynistic views, which I think contributed to the development of this fetish in the first place. It’s a hard thing to admit, but it’s the truth. I felt like I was caught between two terrible options: one side of the debate says that having AGP makes you a creepy, predatory narcissist, and the other side says it means you're truly a woman. Neither of those felt right to me. I'm not a predator; I'm actually very careful to not make women uncomfortable and I understand why they might be wary of men, including men like me. But I also know that the feelings I have aren't a sign that I was born in the wrong body.
I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I only ever transitioned socially, by thinking of myself as trans and spending time in online communities. I'm grateful that I didn't go further medically, because I now see that it wouldn't have solved my underlying problems. My main issues were depression, low self-esteem, and a fetish I didn't understand. Medical transition would have been a permanent solution for a temporary feeling.
I don't regret exploring these feelings because it led me to a better understanding of myself. But I do regret the time I spent thinking I was something I'm not. I'm a man, and that's okay. I'm working on accepting myself and dealing with my mental health issues directly, rather than trying to escape into a different identity.
I don't have any ill will toward transgender people, but I do think the current conversation around AGP is dangerous. Telling people like me that these feelings mean we are women is misleading and can cause real harm. We need to be able to talk about this honestly without being called names or being labeled a threat.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| ? | First began experiencing autogynephilic feelings and fantasies. |
| ? | Started to question my gender, believing my AGP feelings meant I was a woman. |
| ? | Identified as transgender and participated in online trans communities (social transition only). |
| ? | Researched and came to understand my feelings as autogynephilia, not a female identity. |
| ? | Stopped identifying as transgender and began to accept myself as a male. |
| ? | Began working on underlying issues of depression and self-hatred. |
Top Comments by /u/daddioflies665:
Punk can be a very frustrating genre because it was supposed to be about being anti-establishment, anti-authoritarian, nonconformist, etc, but at some point it was redefined as simply being a progressive leftist. Every apolitical punk group has been memory-holed or retroactively claimed as progressive all along, and every punk musician with even slightly conservative views is ignored or lumped in with Nazi punks. This is all well and good if you’re a progressive leftist, but the moment you start to consider other viewpoints is when you realize just how conformist it has become.
If Paul Ryan was ever right about anything, it’s that it’s best to ignore political messages and just listen to the music.
I hate them but I’m not afraid of them so I don’t think I’m transphobic
I’d just like to point out that when “phobic” is applied to groups of people it doesn’t mean you fear them, it’s just a way of saying you’re prejudiced towards them. In fact, saying you “hate” trans people does make you “transphobic” by definition. I really think terms like transphobic/homophobic/islamophobic were created as a way to insult people that hold those prejudices and aren’t actually useful terms. For example, as a kid I thought I was literally “homophobic” because I was deeply uncomfortable with being touched sexually by boys/men. Turns out I just didn’t like being touched without consent, go figure!
Anyway, it’s perfectly fine to hold hatred for ideologies, behaviors, etc, but you shouldn’t hate entire groups of people based on the way some (or even most) of them act. That’s my naive idealistic opinion, anyway.
I agree with what you’ve said here and I don’t think you’ve said anything unreasonable, but as far as some of the other comments in this thread… I just wish that people could see that demonizing men with AGP is exactly the kind of thing that pushes them towards transgender ideology. If you’ve got one side saying you’re a creepy predatory misogynistic narcissistic fetishist, and you’ve got the other side saying you’re just really a woman born in the wrong body, what do you expect is going to happen? I have AGP. It’s literally the only thing about me that made me think I was trans (besides self-hatred, suicidal ideation, etc). I think the idea that AGP is a myth is incredibly dangerous for people like me. But apparently the only other explanation is that I’m an evil self-centered rapist? I already feel like I walk on eggshells to avoid making women feel uncomfortable. I’ll admit I have (or at least had) some misogynistic views that led to me developing this fetish in the first place, but fetishes aren’t really something you can get rid of as far as I know. I’m not trying to disregard the existence of actual predators that hide behind the trans label, but I swear I’m not like that, and I can’t be the only one.
Okay, that’s totally fine and I’m not trying to judge you for that. Appreciate your explanation. Anyway, sounds like a tough situation, and I understand you feeling guilty or somehow responsible for this but you really shouldn’t. It’s not your fault, even if your actions somehow influenced these turn of events. I wouldn’t blame myself for my younger sibling getting addicted to drugs just because I’m a user myself (actually I probably would, but that’s just the kind of thing empathetic people do to themselves). There are a ton of external and internal pressures for these kind of things and we can’t control how other people behave or react. They’re just caught up in the same shit that you were. I really hope everything works out for the best. Sorry that I don’t have any useful or actionable advice to give.
You’re right, I may have taken this a little too personally. And taking it so personally might make me look like a narcissist, lol. I also think that the term “narcissist” gets thrown around a lot these days so I’m sometimes skeptical whenever it is brought up. I agree that many AGPs, particularly the ones that vehemently deny that AGP even exists, are a serious problem. And I’m not trying to make this all about me. I just want others to be cautious of over generalizations and how they can sometimes be counterproductive. You stated your point very emphatically, and that’s all I’m asking for.
Though I’m not sure if it’s accurate to say that AGPs are the group of males that are the MOST violent towards women, but due to the current political climate I would agree that they do present the biggest risk. Anyway, sorry if I came off as hostile or unsympathetic, that was not my intention.
I’m male and have never been on hormones so take my advice with a grain of salt, but I have been on escitalopram (and citalopram before that) and experienced lowered libido due to that medication. Recently I’ve switched from SSRIs Wellbutrin (bupropion) and that has pretty much reversed my low libido. Maybe consider trying that medication? Again, I know our situations aren’t really comparable but if your libido never returns to normal then it might be worth considering.
Yeah, I don’t blame you at all for taking precautions for your own safety any more than I’d blame a woman for not wanting to accept a ride from me or something like that. Sure, it hurts my feelings to be thought of as a threat, but I recognize that it’s not a risk a woman should be willing to take with a male stranger. It’s just something men have to accept, and I wish MTFs would accept it too. At any rate, I appreciate your understanding. In case I didn’t make it clear, my comment was not directed towards you at all, but more towards the thread in general.
One thing I do agree with everyone here about is that you shouldn’t be worried about being labeled a terf. Or rather, you shouldn’t consider being called a terf to be a moral failing on your part. Though, considering some of the openly hostile and violent sentiments I’ve seen directed at “terfs” (even from men that don’t even identify as trans! wtf!), you probably should be worried about being slapped with the terf label. Back in 2015 I was assured that the “it’s okay to punch a Nazi” rhetoric would not be taken too far, but here we are…