This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly detailed, internally consistent over a two-year period, and reflects the complex, nuanced, and often contradictory feelings common in genuine detransition/desister experiences. The comments show personal struggle, evolving self-perception, and a mix of regret and acceptance regarding their choices. The language is natural and conversational, not scripted.
About me
I was born female and lived as a man for nearly a decade after believing my discomfort with womanhood was gender dysphoria. I started testosterone in 2015, which gave me confidence but also dulled my emotions and led to a difficult preoccupation with porn. I eventually realized my true sexual identity was as a woman, and I quit hormones for good in 2020. I now identify as a gender non-conforming woman and am comfortable with my androgynous look, though I regret the permanent voice and hair changes. I’ve learned my dysphoria was psychological and could have been resolved without medical intervention, and I now present as male only when it’s easier socially.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated. I was born female, and for about a decade, I lived as a man. It started when I was younger, feeling incredibly uncomfortable with the expectations placed on me as a girl. I hated how clothes, especially women's clothes, fit my curvy body. I felt sexualized during puberty and hated my developing breasts; it made me very insecure. I also grew up without any butch female role models in cartoons or media, which made me feel like the only way to be my masculine self was to be a boy.
I first identified as non-binary, thinking of it as being somewhere between cis and trans, a mild case of a medical condition. But that quickly shifted, and I began to socially transition to male around 2013, changing my name and pronouns. I believed the discomfort I felt was gender dysphoria. In 2015, I started taking testosterone. I liked how it made me look more masculine and made me feel more confident in public. My personality changed on T; I had more energy, but my emotions felt duller. My sex drive went through the roof, and I developed a real problem with porn, looking at it daily and masturbating multiple times a day. It was like a craving I had to scratch. My sexuality also shifted; I had always been bisexual but was more into women before T. On testosterone, I became crazy about men.
But over time, I started to have doubts. I never got used to giving myself the weekly shots. I hated the excessive body and facial hair I developed. Most importantly, I realized that in all of my sexual fantasies, I was always female. I was aroused by my own female body and liked my breasts because they were sexy. This was a huge sign to me that I wasn't a transsexual man. I was just a masculine woman who felt more comfortable being seen as male in society.
At the beginning of 2020, an insurance issue meant I couldn't refill my prescription. I was already on the fence, so I just quit testosterone cold turkey. It felt like a sign. I didn't have a rough physical transition off of it, though I did have some weird vaginal discharge for a while that eventually stopped.
Now, I identify as a woman again, a gender non-conforming one. I don't completely regret taking testosterone. It gave me a more androgynous look that I'm comfortable with, and I even like the clitoral growth I got from it. But there are permanent effects I deeply dislike. My singing voice is ruined; testosterone gave me a tighter vocal range, and my voice breaks when I try to hit high notes, which makes me sad because I used to love singing. I have hair all over my body, from my chest down my stomach and legs, and I hate having to shave my face. I'm considering laser hair removal.
The biggest change has been in my thinking. I believe my dysphoria was due to psychological factors that were subject to change, and now it's gone. I think I could have been happy as a gender non-conforming woman without ever taking T, but it would have taken a courage I didn't have back then. The older I get, the less I care what people think. Their impressions of me are their business, not mine. I'm fine with a few close friends knowing I'm a woman, but I still usually present as male to strangers because it feels easier. I'm giving socially detransitioning a try to see how it feels.
I also had a sterilization procedure because the idea of pregnancy used to scare me and cause me dysphoria. Now, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m infertile, like many other women.
Looking back, I feel like I was influenced by online communities. A decade ago, on transgender forums, I was encouraged to interpret all my negative feelings about being a woman as gender dysphoria. I was told transition regret was almost non-existent, so why not try it? I think that's dangerous. Transitioning should be a last resort, not something taken lightly. While it's absolutely the right path for some people with real, unchanging dysphoria, others, like me, might just be struggling with the pressures of being a gender non-conforming person in a world that doesn't accept that.
Age | Year | Event |
---|---|---|
23 | 2013 | Began socially transitioning to male, changing name and pronouns. |
25 | 2015 | Started testosterone injections. |
30 | 2020 | Stopped testosterone cold turkey due to insurance issue and personal doubts. Realized I identified as female. |
33 | 2023 | Identifying as a gender non-conforming woman and considering social detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/daftmunk:
I've known four AFAB people who identified as nonbinary but seemed like ordinary women. It seemed like a trend.
I identified as nonbinary for a while, but I interpreted it as being somewhere between cissexual and transsexual. I took testosterone, wore men's clothing, and changed my name and pronouns because I felt like I wasn't completely female.
I'm identifying as a woman again after a lot of thought and self exploration. I now identify as gender non-conforming.
Though I haven't had the same experience, I am disturbed by people identifying as non-binary when they show no signs of dysphoria. I feel like there's a community of authentic trans people and a separate community of attention seeking fakes. Many people interpret being transgender as an ideology they're free to espouse rather than an involuntary state of being
I identified as nonbinary for most of my 10 years as a trans man. The way I conceptualized it is that if transsexualism is a medical condition, a nonbinary person is someone who has only a mild case of it. I don't think that's irrational.
I have met people who identified as nonbinary and didn't seem to have any sort of dysphoria and weren't even noticeably gender-nonconforming. That confused me.
For some people who buy into a certain ideology, being transgender is based solely on a point of view. But for others, it's an involuntary feeling that can't be reasoned away.
The fact is that most people are gender conforming, at least in how they present themselves. If you are very uncomfortable conforming to your assigned gender, you're going to feel like you don't fit in, and that hurts. It's easier for some people to be transgender than it is to be gender non-conforming because being transgender can allow you to feel like you fit in with others.
I'm very sorry that you're going through this. Basically all kids are stupid. Don't be hard on yourself. You are right that "Do you want a living son or a dead daughter" is emotional blackmail and that children shouldn't be allowed to make such big decisions.
You're probably going to have a lower quality of life now, but your life isn't completely ruined. You can get used to not fitting in. It's all about not caring what people think. You may not get to be pregnant or breastfeed, but you're not alone. There are a lot of infertile women.
You can get reconstructive surgery for your breasts. You can still have a good life.
I'd tell them that many people who believe they're transgender are happy after transitioning, but some of them regret it. Some people misinterpret their own feelings. For example, you might think you feel like a boy when you really just hate being a girl.
Of course there are real trans people. Detransitioners are relatively rare. But they do exist, and I fear they'll become more common because of how the transgender community encourages others to see themselves as transgender.
When I was on here a decade ago, browsing transgender subreddits, I remember being encouraged to see my past experiences with gender through a transgender lens. I was encouraged to think my bad feelings about my gender as gender dysphoria rather than bad feelings experienced by a lot of cisgender women. For example, it's probably a common experience for teenage girls to feel sexualized by their developing bodies. That made me very insecure when I went through it.
To make matters worse, I remember people in transgender subreddits essentially saying that transition regret is almost non-existent, so if you think you'd benefit from transitioning, why not do it?
Transition regret was almost non-existent because it used to be that only desperate people with no other options transitioned. Transitioning didn't used to be taken so lightly. I fear that's going to change.
There are a lot of strong female characters. My problem is with the lack of gender non-conforming female characters, especially butch female characters. You have the Powerpuff Girls and Kim Possible and Dora the Explorer, but they're all girly. Growing up without butch female role models made me feel like I had to be a boy to be myself
You look roughly the same in both pictures. The only differences I see is a smaller contrast between your lip and skin colors in the second picture and thicker eyebrows in the second picture. These could be due to a difference in lighting. I'm not sure what difference testosterone even made in your appearance, if any.
It's strange that we think about transitioning as becoming your true self when sex hormones can actually change your personality. I experienced this on testosterone. I had way more energy and felt like I always needed to be doing something. I became more impulsive. My emotions were duller, and even though I've been off testosterone since 2020, my emotions are still duller than they were pre-T (I don't consider this a bad thing).
By far the weirdest thing that happened to me on T was how it changed my personality. I've always been bisexual, but pre-T, I was more into women. I found myself crazy over men. Before T, I had looked up porn every once in a while to spice up my life. But on T, my cravings for porn were like an itch I had to scratch. I looked at it every day and saved my favorite images to my phone. I masturbated as often as three times a day.
I'm now convinced that some of the psychological differences between men and women are definitely biological rather than learned.