This story is from the comments by /u/dancingonsaturnrings that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, detailed anecdotes about medical trauma, cultural reconnection, and experiences in trans and intersex communities.
- Complex, nuanced opinions that reflect the internal conflicts and evolving perspectives common in detransition.
- A consistent, multi-faceted identity as an autistic, intersex desister who is part of a system, which is a highly specific and unlikely persona for a bot to fabricate convincingly.
- Emotional variability ranging from supportive and gentle to frustrated and hurt, which aligns with the passion and pain mentioned in the prompt.
The account reads as a genuine person sharing their complex lived experience.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort with puberty, along with depression, led me to believe I was trans. Online pressure pushed me from identifying as non-binary towards taking testosterone and planning surgeries. Reconnecting with my cultural heritage, which honors the female body, was a major turning point that changed my perspective. I stopped hormones and left that identity behind, which was terrifying because the community I thought was supportive felt cultish. I'm now at peace as a woman and don't regret my journey, but I'm critical of how easily I got medical treatment without deeper psychological support.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and I’m still figuring a lot of it out. I was born female, but I later found out I am also intersex, with PCOS and another condition. I never felt comfortable with the changes that came with female puberty, especially developing breasts. I hated them and felt deeply disconnected from my body. This discomfort, mixed with a lot of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, led me to believe that transitioning was the answer.
I started identifying as non-binary first, and that felt like a safe middle ground. But the pressure, both from online communities and from friends, pushed me further. I felt like I had to pick a side, and I started to move towards identifying as a trans man. I was deeply influenced by what I saw online; it felt like I had finally found a place where I belonged and people who understood my pain. Looking back, I think a lot of my feelings were about escapism—wanting to run away from the person I was and the body that felt so wrong.
I took testosterone for a while. I was so sure it was what I needed to feel right. But things started to shift for me. A huge turning point was reconnecting with my cultural heritage. In my culture, women and our bodies are held in profound respect. This experience was incredibly powerful for me. It made me see my own body in a new light, not as something wrong, but as something valuable. I cancelled my plans for a hysterectomy, which I had been pushing for, and slowly began to step back from my trans identity.
Leaving that identity behind has been the hardest part. It’s been more terrifying than coming out as trans ever was. I thought the love and acceptance I found in the trans community was unconditional, but when I started to question things, I realized it wasn't. It felt cultish. I wasn't allowed to be unsure or to just talk about my doubts without people getting defensive. That was a heartbreaking realization.
I also have autism, and I think that played a big role in everything. The way I experienced my body and social expectations was filtered through that lens. The black-and-white thinking common with autism made it easy for me to latch onto the idea that I was born in the wrong body as the one solution to all my problems.
I did benefit from taking hormones for a short time; it felt like it saved my life at that moment by giving me a sense of control. But I don’t think it was the right long-term solution for me. Now, I see myself as a woman. I don’t separate myself from womanhood anymore. I don’t regret my transition because it was a necessary part of my journey to get to where I am now, which is a place of much more peace and self-acceptance. I do, however, have serious regrets about the medical gatekeeping and how easy it was for me, as a vulnerable person, to get treatment without deeper psychological exploration. I experienced horrible medical neglect when trying to get care for a UTI because a clinic refused to see me, saying they "don't treat men," which was a terrifying and degrading experience.
My sexuality has always been a bit fluid, but I’ve settled into being bisexual. I’ve seen a lot of conversation about internalized homophobia being a reason for transition, and while I can’t speak for everyone, for me, appreciating masculine women and the historical crossover between lesbianism and masculinity helped me realize that I could be whoever I wanted to be without changing my body. I didn’t have to become a man to be valid.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | Started puberty; began to feel intense discomfort with my developing female body, especially my breasts. |
| 18 | Discovered online trans communities and began identifying as non-binary. |
| 21 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 23 | Reconnected with my cultural heritage; cancelled plans for a hysterectomy. |
| 24 | Stopped testosterone and began identifying as a woman again. |
| 25 | (Present) Continuing to explore my identity as a detransitioned, intersex woman. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/dancingonsaturnrings:
idk this doesnt read as sexual to me. Maybe you mean romanticizing? The act of seeing something often severe or serious through rose-tinted glasses, to disminish the seriousness of something because they only see the upsides or what they want to see, etc.
I don't appreciate how often I've seen trans women speak about afab peoples uterus as if its just an object you'd shop for. It's disrespectful and dehumanizing.
We have to, we really have to. That 1% stat is so wrong. Just by being here I can see there is so many of us, and the fact so many of us have had the exact same journey!! is really telling. 13 😔💔 that is so young. Too young to consent for a lifelong altering procedure, in my humble, not medical opinion. I really hope your surgeon will be your friend through this x
Navigating orientation and gender identity is so hard...I know a lot of lesbians who are into transmascs and transmascs that identify still as lesbian despite their transition, there's quite the historical cross over between lesbian and masculinity– I am not a lesbian myself so I don't feel it's my place to try to explain, but I hope it can reassure you that there are definitely women out there who do and will love you as you are right now and detransitioned and however you want to be. Attraction is complex.
I've felt really isolated in this as well and I would say groups like these is what helps me most feel grounded and supported. We aren't alone. You aren't alone. I'm proud of you for taking these steps, even if they are scary x
idk either. To be honest I haven't dived (dove? diven? english) in to read more on that because it's so much to parse. Little by little I'm untangling myself from this mess. I'm sorry your first surgeon was so terrible. I've heard a lot of transition surgeon horror stories tbh, even with bedside manners.
I reconnected with my culture and we greatly value women and their opinions, as well as the richness of their bodies. Profound respect goes to us. I spent time immersed and then as soon as I went back home, cancelled all my wants for hysterectomy. From there onwards, the changes were more steady and slow. Granted its complex as a system and not everyone in here is desisted, but for me I feel quite certain at this point that I am, or that at least, I do not seperate myself from womanhood anymore.
I think this is the case for many trans people. Of course it would be easier to not be trans! It's a hard journey, the treatments are difficult, and the world is very harsh. Even trans communities themselves can be harsh (honestly the biggest part why I mingle less/am leaving). If HRT saved your life, I don't think it'd be right of us to tell you to stop it. It doesn't sound like you are genuinely questioning your gender, but moreso looking at detransitioning because it's simpler not being trans, is that right?
That's the one...when you're questioning, where do you go? Be it in trans or detrans groups, people are quick to jump the gun and call brainwash or hatefulness, which closes the door right away to discussion, compassion or understanding. Even learning. In neither spaces does it feel like there is room to go "hey, I'm not sure anymore, I need a shoulder to lean on right now".
I think modifying your feed to have positive, wholesome masculinity and male figures in your life can help. If you're open to still participating in queer or trans circles, oftentimes in queer events you will see a diversity of gender roles among a diversity of gender identities, so seeing men embracing being themselves no matter the differences can really help too. Some men like nail polish and glitter. Some like piano. Some like dancing. Some like mechanics, etc.
I'm intersex with PCOS paired with another variant. Intersex doesn't mean a person isn't a man or a woman (gender), it means they are born with a combination of male and female traits (sex). A trans person is not born with their combined traits and is hence not intersex. Intersex are also very specific variants with specific symptoms and traits to them. This org has a very extensive glossary of all currently known intersex variants, including but not limited to PCOS https://interactadvocates.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Intersex-Variations-Glossary.pdf
Absolutely. I've been coming out little by little and it's terrifying. No jokes, this is significantly more terrifying and life-changing than coming out as trans was for me. (disclaimer: system, only host is detrans/desister). I knew that I'd be welcomed and embraced and that community was strong, I knew coming out as trans would mostly go well in my case...I was a bit nervous, but nothing more. But in this case, I am perpetually terrified of losing my loved ones due to the cultish behavior. Realising it IS cultish in the first place really hit hard. So hard. I thought the love of the community was unconditional, I thought I had my place, but if you aren't even allowed to question anything or get information...? sad sigh