This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user writes with personal nuance, shares specific details (e.g., working in healthcare), and engages in multi-faceted discussions about medical and psychological aspects of detransition, which is consistent with a passionate, knowledgeable individual, likely a desister or a concerned parent as the username implies.
About me
I was born female and my journey started with deep discomfort during puberty, compounded by trauma and autism. I transitioned to male and took testosterone, hoping it would solve my pain, but it only caused serious health problems. What truly helped was therapy that focused on my trauma and internalized issues instead of just affirming my transition. I realized my discomfort wasn't with being female, but with trauma and society's narrow expectations of women. I've detransitioned and now find peace in accepting my body and helping others avoid the same painful detour.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition was a long and difficult one, rooted in a lot of pain and confusion. I was born female, and from a young age, I struggled with severe anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Puberty was incredibly uncomfortable for me; I hated the development of my breasts and felt a deep disconnect from my body. This was compounded by my autism, which made the social expectations of being a woman feel like a confusing and impossible performance. I never felt like I fit in.
I started to believe that my profound discomfort meant I was not a woman. I found a lot of this thinking online and in friend groups where transitioning was presented as the only solution to these feelings. It felt like an escape from myself and from the pain I was in. I socially transitioned to male and then began taking testosterone. I was convinced it was the right path.
The testosterone did change things, but not in the ways I had hoped. It caused serious health complications for me very quickly. I started having major joint problems in my early twenties, feeling like I had the body of someone decades older. I also developed an autoimmune disorder, which I believe was triggered by the hormone treatment. I was warned about these risks but had dismissed them, thinking the mental relief would be worth any physical cost. It wasn't.
What finally broke through for me was non-affirming therapy. I found a therapist who didn't just affirm my desire to transition but instead helped me dig into the why. We worked on my deep-seated trauma, my low self-esteem, and my internalized issues. I realized I had a lot of internalized homophobia to work through; I think part of my desire to become a man was an inability to accept myself as a female who didn't conform to stereotypes. Through therapy, I began to understand that my body and my self were not separate things to be fought against. I am an integrated whole. You can't escape being your sex, just like you can't escape being human.
I decided to detransition. Stopping testosterone was a relief for my body, even though it was hard. I regret transitioning. I regret the permanent changes to my voice and body hair, and I live with the fear of long-term health issues from the hormones. I deeply regret the time, money, and emotional energy I spent on a path that was ultimately a detour away from dealing with my real problems. My discomfort wasn't about gender; it was about trauma, autism, and a society that tells women there's only one right way to be.
I now believe that the push for medical transition is often too quick and doesn't allow people, especially young people, the space to explore their feelings through proper psychotherapy. I benefited immensely from therapy that wasn't just about affirmation but about finding the root cause. I’ve found more peace in accepting my body as it is and focusing on helping others, which has given me a perspective and confidence I never had before.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 13 | - | Started puberty; began to feel intense discomfort and hated my developing breasts. |
| Early 20s | - | Began socially transitioning to male. |
| 22 | - | Started testosterone therapy. |
| 22 | - | Began experiencing serious joint pain and was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder. |
| 23 | - | Started non-affirming therapy focused on root causes of trauma and anxiety. |
| 23 | - | Realized my discomfort was not related to gender identity and decided to detransition. |
| 23 | - | Stopped taking testosterone. |
Top Comments by /u/daughersmom:
and most don't control for whether someone is already taking hormones, the very real existence of brain plasticity (we adapt to where we are and what we're told - even that's something we ourselves are saying to ourselves), and on and on. Additionally, most of those studies have laughable cohort sizes. I saw one with about 12 or 18 people. ridiculous!
I think that's a good plan. From my point of view, too many people are pushing this and the capacity to explore normal teen and young adult angst through regular psychotherapy is being shut down. There need to be consequences for wrongfully pushing this avenue.
Yeah, that last part - that's the bit that presumes there's just one way of being female. The only thing that makes one female are the genes. The rest is just personality. Women look SO many different ways and have so many different interests. I hate the media and advertising that makes women and girls think there's only one way to successfully female. And, the whole bit that promotes the idea that somehow your internal self isn't actually tied to your physical being.
In re the health issues. Testosterone comes with all sorts of problems. Heart disease, cancer, joint and bone loss. The most recent recommendations sent to physicians was that they shouldn't even be prescribing testosterone or estrogen as replacement therapy for men and women respectively because it causes more problems than it could ever solve. There have been numerous successful lawsuits in re HRT for both men and women. FDA says testosterone should NOT be used in females for any reason (barring minimal use in re a very specific cancer treatment). The various surgeries seem to be nothing but problematic and repeated UTI's are typical. Hysterectomy creates lots of problems and oopherectomy will put you into instant menopause. I don't think these issues are really laid out the way they should be. Double mastectomy creates nerve damage, as does phalloplasty (to the arm). You need to do research at non-biased sites (or at least a balance between both sides) in order to get some straight information. All the solid research indicates better outcomes mentally and physically for those who learn to accept themselves as an integrated whole being.
What are your reasons? Knowing that you will regret it, that you are doing it for the wrong reasons, should encourage you to seek some non-affirmative counseling to get to the root of why you feel like you want to transition. What would your life look like that would make you NOT want to transition, that would make you feel comfortable just as you are?
You can no more escape being human than you can escape being your sex. These are things you just are. There is no escape.
It sounds like you need some good therapy that focuses on the basis of your discomfort. Some DBT therapy might be great. Good luck.
First, thanks for sharing your story. My own daughter is struggling right now. Your share gave me hope. I know it sounds trite, but perhaps finding a way to focus on something outside of yourself, at least for periods of time, might help you gain some perspective and footing. There are so many young people who need to hear what you have to say. I know your autism/shyness might limit how that happens, but I would strongly encourage you to help others. I have dealt with PTSD, anxiety, and depression since i was a preschooler (many moons ago), so I understand what you're dealing with. I also know that I have benefited greatly from stepping outside of myself to focus on helping others. Heck, even if it's just that you volunteer some time at an animal shelter or something like that, it might bring you some peace, to provide solace and comfort to others. The point being that there are many ways to take care of yourself and gain confidence and love for yourself.
I wish you well. I'm pretty sure you can get tons of support here.
Fascinating read. Not unexpected, I guess. But, great to have what seems a pretty honest opinion from a physician. Very sad, really, for the patients. I hope more doctors will begin to stand up against this factory assembly-line way of practicing medicine and really consider their "first do no harm" oath.
Medical care will get back on track actually probably before anything else (I work in the healthcare field and we just got an update on this within the last 24 hrs) and that will be in just a few weeks, depending on where you are and what path your state is taking to get back to normal. Be patient with yourself and the process. It took you a few years to get where you are and it will take some time to get back to yourself. Congratulations! This is all just a hiccup in the process.
I believe the risk is a bit higher than the average men's risk and it kicks in earlier. The joint problems are pretty early onset. I know some 22 year olds with the joints of a 70 year old. Testosterone to that amount just doesn't belong in a woman's body. It can also trigger autoimmune disorders. I know of several cases of that among the young people I know more immediately - this is true for both men and women.