This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this user account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments demonstrate:
- A consistent, nuanced, and personal perspective on detransition.
- Direct engagement with the community's internal conflicts and politics.
- Empathetic advice that acknowledges the complexity of individual experiences.
- A clear and critical voice that aligns with a genuine, passionate user who is frustrated with certain elements within the community.
About me
I never felt like I fit in and started to believe my body discomfort meant I was a man. I took testosterone and had surgery to remove my breasts, which gave me a temporary sense of confidence. I later realized through therapy that my real issues were depression and anxiety, not my gender as a female. I deeply regret the permanent changes, especially becoming infertile, because I wasn't encouraged to explore other solutions. I'm now a woman learning to accept myself, but I have to live with the lasting consequences.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I never felt like I fit in. I was uncomfortable with my body when I hit puberty and really hated developing breasts; it felt like they didn't belong on me. I think a lot of my feelings were tangled up with low self-esteem and depression. I spent a lot of time online, and that’s where I found communities that seemed to have an answer for what I was feeling. I was influenced by what I read and saw, and it made me believe that transitioning was the solution to my deep discomfort.
I started by identifying as non-binary, but that quickly shifted to identifying as a trans man. I began taking testosterone when I was 19. It felt like it was giving me a sense of control and a new confidence I never had before. I believed in myself more. I got top surgery a year later, at 20. I don't regret the surgery itself because I always hated my breasts, but I do regret the reasons why I did it and how quickly it all happened.
Looking back, I don't think my issues were really about gender. I think I was using transition as a form of escapism from other problems, like my anxiety and depression. I benefited from therapy later on, but it was a non-affirming therapy that actually helped me. It helped me untangle my feelings and realize that my body discomfort wasn't necessarily a sign of being born in the wrong body, but was connected to other issues.
I don't believe in gender the way I used to. I think it's a social concept that I tried to force myself into because I felt broken. I'm just a woman who had a very hard time accepting herself. I don't regret the personal strength I found during that time, because it did help me get through a difficult period in my life. But I deeply regret the permanent changes I made to my body. I'm now infertile, and that is a serious and lasting complication that I have to live with. I regret that I wasn't encouraged to explore other ways to feel comfortable in my own skin before making such big decisions.
This community was supposed to be a place for support, but I often found it unhealthy. A lot of the so-called allies were creepy or treated us with pity instead of real empathy. And there were too many people pushing conspiracy theories instead of just listening to our actual experiences. I came here looking for people who understood, but it was often centered on everyone else but us.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 20 | Had top surgery. |
| 22 | Stopped testosterone and began to detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/deeplurkdt:
What are we supposed to be seeing here? It's a hand. It looks like a hand.
I think you need to work on accepting that even without testosterone in your system, every day you get older. You will never be 20 again. There are lots of things that are going to happen to you in the future that you cannot blame on past testosterone use. You are going to keep on aging. You need to come to terms with that.
Radfems allied with the religious right before against porn. Since the 80s:
Radfems are more marginalized.
The religious right has made huge gains.
Porn is more prevalent than ever.
Having lived through that you'll understand my contempt for the tactic of shooting off your nose to spite your face.
If transition or testosterone is what allowed you to get to a place where you believe in yourself and your abilities, then maybe it wasn't wasted time. There will be things you regret still, but maybe doing it another way would've taken 15 years instead of 5.
I think life is too short to be strict about purity or naturalistic approaches. Or at least too short to waste time on regretting being "unpure." It sounds like you gained a lot from transitioning that wasn't about gender at all. That's great. It's something you can take forward from it that will help the rest of your life.
You have no logic. Everything you post is a conspiracy theory.
That’s why I have such a strong stance on this. The children are the future and need to be protected from this propaganda. Our blood needs to survive. There’s too much foreign interests in castrating an opposing country. It weakens the internal structure and result in defeat in a short period of time. Every one who has swallowed the trans pill owes it to push back hard to slow the damage being inflicted and make their sacrifice worth something. We are at a loss. It doesn’t mean you or your children have to be.
WTF even is that comment? Don't bother answering. You need way more help than anyone here is qualified to provide.
You're here because the general tone of this sub agrees with what you've decided is what you want for your child. You have another parent here telling you this space is not meant to be centered on you but you keep patting yourself on the back. The mods obviously approve, so just don't strain yourself.
I don't really agree they are more respectful. They are given a lot of leeway to insult our experiences and bodies and treat us with pity instead of empathy.
I'm not really upset with you in particular. I just finally made an account after months of lurking because. Well, I don't actually know. It's just upsetting how little this place seems to be for the people it's supposedly for.
Many of the "allies" bother me more tbh. I see how they act so I've never even posted. I don't want them being creepy at me. And the conspiracy theory nutters. I went looking for community on the advice of my therapist but this place is unhealthy.
Have you actually physically transitioned in any way? Or have you been fighting this through de/reidentification this whole time?
I've known a handful of butch straight women. That was how they self-IDed, I assume the lesbians in their life were okay with it. One was married to a cis straight man. Another was active in the kink community and played with bi men. There are options, but you're never going to have much community. Straight women who are not feminine but are still fine in neutral women's clothes are going to tell you they get it, but they don't.
Even people who do detransition may only do so in certain ways. They may stay on hormones but detrans socially. They may stop hormones but pursue surgery like FFS or mastectomy. Or they may pursue reversal surgeries.
I am strongly against the sub enforcing the hard line that any body modification is wrong. We are all trying to figure out how to live with ourselves and the reality is that is just not going to look the same for everyone.