This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments are highly specific, emotionally varied (offering support, personal anecdotes, and nuanced advice), and demonstrate a consistent, long-term engagement with the complex and painful realities of detransition, including grief, trauma, and body image—topics that are difficult to fake convincingly. The language is natural and personal, not robotic or copy-pasted.
About me
I was a mentally ill tomboy who got convinced online that medical transition was my only option. I now see that a lot of my distress came from a paraphilia that twisted my feelings about men and my own body. I realized I needed therapy to find the root of my problems, not just to affirm a new identity. I’ve accepted that I am female and that changing my body wasn't the right path for me. Now I'm finding new confidence by reconnecting with my femininity in my own way.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been long and complicated, and it’s taken me a lot of time to understand what was really going on with me. Looking back, I see now that I was a mentally ill tomboy who was convinced I was trans. I think I was influenced a lot by what I saw online, and I ended up feeling somewhat coerced into believing that transition was the only answer for my discomfort.
A huge part of my experience was dealing with what I now recognize as autoandrophilia. When I was a teenager, it was disgusting and depraved; I was fetishizing men and gay men because of my dysphoria. It was a real porn problem that twisted my feelings. I had to call myself out on it and put myself back in place before I could even start to tackle the real issues in therapy. I see now that these kinds of paraphilias can really take over and lead people down a bad path, especially when they get encouraged in certain online spaces.
I did live with a lot of gender dysphoria, but I’ve come to realize that medical transition wasn’t the right answer for me. I know it’s possible to accept yourself as the sex you were born, even when it feels impossible. It takes a lot of hard work, and you have to move away from wanting instant gratification. The goal is consistent satisfaction, which only comes from self-acceptance. For me, that means accepting that I am female.
I have a lot of thoughts about gender now. I believe that if you are born female, you will always be female, even if you use he/him pronouns or live as a man. That’s the reality of being trans. So the choice becomes about whether you can be okay with that, or if you need to find a way to comfortably live as a woman. For me, I’ve chosen the latter. I don’t regret exploring my gender because it led me to this understanding, but I do have regrets about getting so deep into the idea that I needed to change my body. I see the grief and anger that can come from that, especially for people who have lost their fertility or had serious health complications. That’s a kind of loss that needs real grief counseling to process.
Therapy was crucial for me, but it wasn't gender-affirming therapy. I needed a therapist who would help me figure out the root of my feelings, not just affirm them. Any good therapist should listen when you say, “I’m not looking for gender affirmation. I’m looking to process and figure out the root of these feelings.” I also have PTSD, and I’ve learned to be careful with language, using terms like “emotionally activated” for general feelings instead of the word “triggered,” which I try to reserve for my PTSD.
Now, I’m trying to reconnect with being a woman. I’ve found that small things, like wearing a fun pink wig or a little makeup, can help me feel more feminine and confident again. It’s not about needing to wear makeup, but it helped me. I’m learning to see myself as an androgynous female and appreciating my feminine features. I even got a stereotypical “gay” haircut to signal to other women that I’m a lesbian, which felt like a positive way to express myself without denying my sex.
Here is a timeline of the main events I've talked about from my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teenager | Struggled with autoandrophilia, fetishizing men and gay men due to dysphoria. |
| Young Adulthood | Identified as trans, was convinced transition was the only solution. |
| Young Adulthood | Underwent therapy to process the root of my feelings, not for affirmation. |
| Present Day | Realized I am a female with gender dysphoria for whom transition wasn't the answer. |
| Present Day | Detransitioned socially; working on self-acceptance as a woman. |
| Present Day | Exploring feminine expression like wigs and makeup to feel confident again. |
Top Comments by /u/delusionalxx:
All I can say is you were lied to. And you will need to process that anger first. Because that anger will always overtake the genuine grief that is underneath. You are experiencing grief right now, I’m not a professional who can say whether or not it’s been traumatic for you; however, this is absolutely something that can be traumatic for someone. Until you can process the anger of the grief, you won’t be able to get to the root, which is a deep and profound sadness around your loss of ability to conceive a child. Please seek therapy because you deserve it
I know it’s hard, it’s felt impossible for me, but it IS possible to accept yourself as male. It may take a shit ton of time, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Instant gratification isn’t your goal anymore, your goal is now consistent satisfaction and that can only come from the hard work of accepting oneself
It’s fetish content and the reason it’s gotten this far is no one & i mean NO ONE has put autogynephiles in their place nor has anyone put autoandrophiles in their place! And I’m saying this as someone who struggled with autoandrophilia. I was a disgusting depraved teenager fetishizing men and gay men because of my dysphoria. I called myself out and put myself back in place and then was able to tackle the very real gender dysphoria I was experiencing in therapy. These people feed into their paraphilias, purposefully seek out victims, and take the fetishization to the max. There are many people coming out about being groomed in online spaces to become the perfect “gender bending fetish object”. I am so sorry you found these awful places
You may want to be a man. But the reality is you’ll always be a woman going be he/him pronouns. That’s the reality of being trans. So you either need to come to terms with that and be okay with not being on T but still identifying as a trans man or you need to find a way to comfortably live as a woman.
Oh my gosh you look incredible! I’ve seen your other posts and for some reasons your face really stands out to me (& I say that in the most endearing, complimentary way ever)! You look perfectly beautiful yet perfectly handsome! Very much view you as an androgynous female
Kind of off topic but if you don’t want to use the word “triggered” another option I enjoy using is “emotionally activated” or “deeply activated”. Since I have ptsd I try to reserve trigger for it’s intended use and use emotionally activated for other deeply activating feelings/responses.
I did the same thing! Got a stereotypical “gay” haircut to help signify to other women I like women! Not offensive at all sorry people are being rude! I think you look incredible and instantly could tell you were a female! The makeup looks wonderful and really highlights you’re beautiful eyes and feminine features
Please don’t worry I think you’ve been very kind and open! I personally relate to feeling coerced and convinced I was trans when really I was just a mentally ill tomboy. I still live with gender dysphoria but I know transition isn’t my answer anymore. I think others just want to share that for them they weren’t coerced and it came from a different place for them. But I hope you don’t worry that you’re being rude or “wrong”! You are being understanding and it’s clear people here feel safe sharing their story with you
I know the other commenter said you should go for a natural wig color + natural makeup but personally i think a fun makeup look mixed with the pink wig could help you feel confident while your body is detoxing (especially since this pink color means something to you)!! I really like the pink wig on you, you pull off the color really well, maybe wearing it with a pastel shirt would look nice too!! Regardless, especially in the first picture I think you look like a woman wearing a wig! Just trying to throw out some stuff that helped me on my journey 🙏🏻❤️I saw you mentioning struggling with dry skin from skin conditions as well as from the T. If you want to wear foundation at some point you should look into Missha Glow Cushion (your color would probably be No.13) it’s very hydrating, is made for dry skin, and it’s not too heavy of coverage! Even a little bit of a lip tint and some mascara would look lovely if you don’t wanna spend time on makeup! Not saying you need makeup but I know it helped me feel more feminine again!! Again I love the pink wig I love bright colors and people who aren’t afraid to wear them! 🩷
Yes! This! You ARE a man with our without your testicles. I know that doesn’t change the distress of no longer having them, but you are a man regardless of if you have them. You can be the man you want, you can fight for the life you want to live as a man, and you can outclass many men, as long as you don’t give up.