This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake persona. The user provides:
- Highly specific, personal, and consistent anecdotes about their long-term transition, detransition, and experiences within trans and detrans communities over many years.
- Emotionally charged and nuanced opinions that reflect the complex, often painful, and passionate perspectives common among long-term detransitioners.
- A coherent personal narrative that evolves over time in their comments, detailing their changing views and life circumstances.
The account exhibits the expected characteristics of a genuine, disillusioned individual who lived as a trans woman for over two decades and is now critically reevaluating that experience.
About me
I was a teenager from a small town when I started my transition to female, hoping to find a community where I belonged. I lived as a woman for 22 years, but hormones and surgery never resolved my dysphoria and instead created new anxieties. After my bottom surgery, I realized I had lost a functional part of my body for a poor imitation that caused me deep regret. I began detransitioning at 41, and the crippling anxiety I had lived with for decades immediately started to fade. I lost all my friends and my home, but I am finally living in reality as a man, mentally free for the first time.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was born male, and I began my transition to female when I was 19. I was from a small town and I desperately wanted to find a community where I fit in. I found that online and at places like Camp Trans, where I went for several years starting in 2006. I met other trans people who were into punk and zines, and for a while, it felt like I had finally found my people. We were protesting for inclusion, but even then, I had doubts. I remember talking to some older lesbians who explained why they wanted their own space, and it made a lot of sense to me, even if it went against what my new friends believed.
I lived as a trans woman for 22 years. During that time, I took hormones and eventually had bottom surgery in 2017. I was convinced that each step would finally make me feel complete and solve my dysphoria. But it never did. Instead, each surgery and treatment just created new problems and new insecurities. I was constantly anxious, spending hours getting ready to go out and then often canceling my plans because I couldn't handle it. I was surrounded by other trans women who were also crippled with anxiety, and we all just affirmed each other's decisions without ever questioning if it was really helping.
A huge part of my identity was wrapped up in a very compartmentalized idea of womanhood. I would fixate on specific traits of female celebrities I admired, like Courtney Love or Anna Nicole Smith, and try to emulate those tiny parts instead of seeing the whole picture. The trans community I was in encouraged this. We would hyper-focus on each other's single features, like a nose or legs, and call them feminine, completely ignoring the overall masculine reality. It was a bubble of delusion that we all reinforced for each other.
My bottom surgery was the biggest turning point. I had been with biological women before and knew what a real vagina was like. After my surgery, I realized immediately that what I had was nothing like that. It doesn't function the same way, it's difficult to feel pleasure, and orgasming is nearly impossible. I lost a fully functional part of my body for a poor imitation that came with a host of new physical and emotional problems. I now have nightmares and what I believe is PTSD, where I dream I'm still intact and then wake up to the horrible reality.
I started to detransition in 2022, when I was 41. I cut my hair, stopped presenting as female, and started taking testosterone again. The change in my mental state was immediate and shocking. The anxiety that had plagued me for over two decades just started to disappear. I didn't care about "passing" anymore. I felt free for the first time in my adult life.
This decision cost me everything. All of my trans friends turned on me. They called me a bigot, a TERF, a Nazi, and told me to kill myself. These were people I had known for 20 years, people I had supported through their own struggles. I lost my housing and ended up living in my car, starving in a national forest. The people who helped me were not from the LGBTQ community; they were homeless people, conservatives, and travelers. The rejection from my old community was brutal and complete.
I don't believe in transgender ideology anymore. I don't think men can become women. I think gender non-conformity is perfectly normal and should be celebrated, but the idea that you can change your sex is a lie. I see now that my transition was a form of escapism from other problems, like low self-esteem and internal issues I never dealt with. Quitting porn was also a big step in my healing.
I have serious regrets. I am now infertile and have to live with the permanent consequences of my surgery. My body is irrevocably changed. But mentally, I am in a much better place. My eyes in pictures now look alive and happy, whereas before they just looked sad and blank. It’s a colder world as a man; women don’t smile at me in the same way and it’s more isolating, but it’s a reality I can finally live in without the constant fear and anxiety. I transitioned because I thought it was the truth, but I detransitioned because I finally found it.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 19 | ~2000 | Started my MTF transition. |
| 22-26 | 2006-2010 | Attended Camp Trans multiple times. |
| 41 | 2017 | Had bottom surgery. |
| 41 | 2022 | Began detransitioning, stopped presenting as female. |
| 42 | 2023 | Living as a detransitioned male. |
Top Comments by /u/deserTShannon:
I don’t believe TW are women. TW are a subset of men. I don’t mean that in a mean way I it’s just my experience 22 years as mtf. Males have experiences women can never understand, starting with the moment we arrive on this planet. The same goes for females. Females have a much different experience the way they are treated by the world and the way they treat others. I saw a meme that really clicked for me and it was like boys: fake insults Girls: fake compliments Which was completely my experience as a teenage boy, and a trans woman in my 20s and 30s. The other trans people I knew when I started all were very based in reality regarding sex and gender.. somewhere we went off the rails
I had the same thing happen. At first I was trying to be supportive of them and their transition even tho in my heart of hearts I knew it was all bullshit. Trans people told I was a Nazi. They called me bigot, transphobic and many other nasty nasty names. A few even told me to KMS. After they knew I lost 7 mtf friends to suicide over 20 years. You know who never called me nasty names? Straight people. Sure my feelings were hurt when I met a person and the feelings of attraction ended for them when I disclosed my transition. Only one back in 2003 called me a sick disgusting freak. Throughout the years the guys and girls that didn’t want to pursue me after disclosure were ALWAYS really nice about it. You know who was never really nice to me? OTHER TRANS PEOPLE! Even in my transition they were judgemental, gossipy and usurious toward my hospitality and good nature. They shit talked me and other trans people non stop. When I made the decision in 2022 that I was over it and going to detrans again people I loved turned their backs on me so quickly. I lost everything. I was living in my car, in a national forest outside Tucson basically starving with no way to get a job or have stability in my life. And you know who befriended me and accepted me? Other displaced/homeless people, conservatives, Festie wooks that lived in school busses. Trans and queer people I used to be friends with reveled in my ostracism and destitute situation bc “i got what I deserved for being a terf” which was hilarious bc I’m not a feminist. So from my experience trans people are not great friends. They turn on you as soon as you break from the affirmation spin cycle of delusion. It’s hard as fuck to be cast out, but it’s going to be so worth it in the course of your life
Exactly my experience. Every mtf I know was either a fem gay guy or a nerdy incel type straight guy. Both were hyper focused on weird concepts of femininity and woman hood. So much of the identity is about breaking things down jnto little pieces instead of the larger whole. One might have fem shaped legs or a narrow waist so they hyper focus on those parts but seem to be incapable of seeing the whole picture. Ya you may have a narrow waist but you’re 6’2” and visibly male.. but they can’t see that because other trans wil say “ughh I wish I had your legs girl!” So the delusion is just enforced while reality is glossed over
As someone who transitioned at 19 detransition around 28, then re-transitioned at 30 and D transitioned at 41 I can tell you that this sort of thing never goes away. These feelings of maybe it was better on the other side never go away either. I think therapy is key, but for me I want to mirror what someone else said quitting porn was a big one. For me, I did watch a lot of porn of trans women having sex with women and calling it lesbian porn and even had multiple relationships where I dated women as a trans woman but even in those relationships I was constantly watching porn constantly like thinking and fantasizing about myself as a female, and it was detrimental to my house and my well-being being of my state of mind. I had bottom surgery in 2018, and for me that was the immediate realization that the whole thing was all bullshit that there was no magical surgery that can turn you into a woman. That a neo vagina is absolutely nothing like a real vagina and when you’ve been with biological women and real vaginas. There’s a new level of dysphoria because now I don’t have a penis which everyone knows what to do with a penis and I don’t have a real vagina which everyone knows what to do with a vagina. But now I have this weird mutilated penis to look like a vagina that doesn’t function like a vagina can’t function like a penis anymore and barely has any sexual stimulation and very difficult to orgasm with. The whole ideology is a lie and you must accept who you are as you are before anything else. We will never be women we can never be women. Straight men want to be with real women any man that wants to be with a trans woman has a fetish in my experience of 22 years living as a trans woman. it’s all low quality, low value men. Any woman that wants to be with a trans woman I don’t know it’s not really lesbianism it’s just seems to me like it’s all fetish base for both sides but you Gotta do what makes you happy but I’m gonna tell you right now I really don’t think re-transitioning and putting your body through even more chaos is going to make you happy. You just have to accept that being a feminine guy is totally acceptable and wonderful and I wish you the best.
I’m so sick of the “trans People don’t detransition out of regret only because of how people treated them” LIE! It’s infuriating, and so placating to the real issues of Why people detransition. Every detransition or I know the transitioned because of regret or unhappiness, or realizing that it wasn’t right for them not because of how people treated us. In fact, most people I know that are trans are cuddled in every step always told her a victim always told her affirmed. They’re amazing and “they’re a real woman” it’s such a lie to say we did transition because of how people treat us. I think I’m better way to look at it is many people transition because they’re constantly yassssslight by everyone in the community
No. When I first started to detransition a lot of my trans friends were like “well, you still support trans people don’t you?” And since they were my friend, I said yes, of course because I love them and I care about them but now every single one of them has turned on me so I don’t actually believe that people are genuinely trans. I think gender non-conformity is totally normal and natural but the idea that you could transition from one to the other is totally not and I think it’s really dangerous And I feel bad for my friends that are still living and struggling with anxiety because all of my trans women friends are basically crippled with anxiety they can’t do this they can’t do that like every single thing is a cake do you wanna just go get a cup of coffee or hit a thrift store and they’re like no my anxiety is too strong today I can’t go like OK
Your eyes look the most different. In the before they look blank and sad, and in the current pic they look bright and beautiful and kinda like you’re smiling even tho your face isn’t. I’ve noticed this with all detransjtioners, including myself. The eyes change dramaticallg
I wouldn’t fret about the statistics, because I don’t believe the less than 1% is accurate at all. How can less than 1% be accurate if one person knows more than a few detransitioners. I just met a detransitioner the other day randomly in the real world. And even if there weren’t that many of us that doesn’t mean it’s not right the transition if you feel that transition is not right for you. I think as we go further down the road or gender, affirming care. We’re gonna be seeing a lot more detransitioners in the future.
Wow, I had not heard that term before but I feel like that is 100% accurate especially with my own experience. I used to look at some transgender‘s and think oh my gosh I wish I looked like her. I wish I had her lips or her hair, or whatever but now after detransitioning I’m like oh my god thank God I look like me.
So I went to camp trans in 2006,7,8 and 10 across the road. My first year in 2006 I was about 4 years into my mtf transition and met this cool trans girl online who told me about camp trans. She said “it’s a protest of a festival or whatever but I just went and met some cool trans people” being from a small town I wanted to meet other cool young trans punks. So I found someone who posted on the Camp trans rideshare page and went to DC to meet her and head out. I didn’t know what to expect. The trans girl i rode with was from an affluent suburb and was in college, two things foreign to me and she explained that michfest was problematic for not allowing transwomen. We disagreed on a lot of things and when we got to CT we went our separate ways. I finally met other mtfs that were into punk and riot grrrl and zines and I really felt like I found my community. We did this thind where we “walked the line” and approached all the festies in their cars and talked to them about including trans women. The first car I talked to convinced me to allow them their space and honestly it made a lot of sense. So I feigned a headache and walked back to camp to make new friends. A lot of the “yellow armbands came over from the fest and met us. I made some new friends, chopped firewood where a photo of me was taken that later went viral on the internet. All in all I stayed at CT and had a great time. I went back a few times but it got more and more woke. That’s where I learned about cis and white privilege and terfs but they weren’t called that yet. Anyway I’ll never forget that first car with the old head lesbians in it that told me they deserved their own space and that I was young and would understand when I was older. The person I was paired with to walk the line said “I wasn’t as radical as I thought I was” and I was just like “whatever” one year I was there some TRAs snuck over to michfest and defaced some speakers or something. My last year there was some kind of showdown with some TRAs and a tow truck driver and it just became not fun anymore and I never went back. I think that was the last year camp trans had any real attendance. Anyway here are some photos I found on the net of camp trans in the first years i went
https://www.flickr.com/groups/ct06/pool/
I’m in these a lot as the skinny blond TS with the red scarf and gray hoodie…
https://www.flickr.com/groups/509072@N22/pool/
after a picture of me went viral holding an axe in 2006 I didn’t allow anyone to take pics of me because I didn’t want to end up on the internet in a bra again… so I’m not in there but a lot of my friends are.