This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "detrans2021" appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor. The comments display:
- Personal, nuanced experience: The user shares specific, complex details about their detransition/desistance, top surgery, internalized misogyny, and ongoing management of dysphoria.
- Consistent narrative: The story is coherent and consistent across multiple comments over a month-long period.
- Emotional depth: The writing conveys genuine passion, frustration, and personal reflection, which aligns with the expected emotions of someone who has experienced this journey.
- Interactive engagement: The user responds directly to others' points, offers tailored advice, and asks follow-up questions, demonstrating real engagement.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort started at puberty with a constant, severe dysphoria about my developing body. I socially transitioned in my early twenties, influenced by online communities that felt controlling and ultimately unhelpful. The only medical step I took was top surgery at 24, which I needed and don't regret, but it made me pause and question everything. I realized my desire to transition further was rooted in internalized misogyny and self-hatred from my upbringing as a masculine woman. Now, I'm a butch lesbian who has found peace through therapy, strength training, and letting go of labels to focus on my real needs.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition wasn't about finding my true self, it was born from a place of deep self-hatred. I was born female, and from the moment puberty started, around age 12, I felt a severe and constant discomfort with my developing breasts. It wasn't a fluctuating feeling; it was an unending, persistent dysphoria that was always there, whether I was alone or with people, happy or sad.
I started identifying as trans and began a social transition in my early twenties. I was heavily influenced by what I saw online; trans culture on the internet felt like a toxic, authoritarian vat of ramblings that didn't really have my best interests at heart. I quickly realized the community could be just as controlling and judgmental as the religious background I had left, offering a fake sense of community that crumbled under scrutiny.
The only medical step I took was to get top surgery at age 24. I don't regret that surgery at all. For me, it was necessary. I had tried for over a decade to manage the dysphoria, and nothing else worked. My brain's internal map just did not match that part of my anatomy. However, getting that surgery was also a turning point that made me pause and rethink everything else.
I realized a huge part of my desire to transition further was rooted in intense internalized misogyny. I was raised in a misogynistic environment, and being a naturally masculine, butch woman, I faced a lot of harsh judgment. I developed a visceral hatred toward women as a whole, which I eventually understood was just my own self-hatred projected outward. There was probably some internalized homophobia in there too, as a lesbian who is only attracted to women.
I put all further medical transition on hold indefinitely. I started intense self-reflection and therapy to deal with my trauma and other mental health issues. I learned my triggers and how to avoid topics about gender and biology, which helped immensely. I found incredible value in strength training; working out five days a week gave me a positive connection to my body and helped alleviate other dysphoric feelings I had about wanting to be physically strong. Proper diet and nutrition also played a huge role in managing my depression.
I also experimented with cannabis, which had a mind-opening effect on me. It helped me see things more clearly and was part of my process of self-discovery. I've divorced myself from labels for the most part. I now see myself simply as a butch woman. I'm comfortable with an androgynous appearance and don't feel the need to call myself a man just because my brain didn't line up with my chest.
I don't regret my top surgery, but I do regret getting swept up in a transition narrative that wasn't entirely right for me. I benefited from stepping back and pursuing non-affirming therapy to deal with my root issues. My journey taught me that you have to know yourself better than anyone else on the planet. You can't just grab a label and cram yourself into it. You need to strip everything back, learn who you are without any labels, and then decide what tools you need to live a peaceful life.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | Puberty began; started experiencing intense and constant discomfort with breast development. |
| Early 20s | Began social transition, identifying as trans. Heavily influenced by online trans communities. |
| 24 | Underwent top surgery. This was the only medical procedure I had. Do not regret it. |
| 24 | Paused all further medical transition plans. Began therapy and intense self-reflection to address internalized misogyny, trauma, and other mental health issues. |
| Present | Identify as a butch lesbian. Manage residual dysphoria through strength training, diet, and avoiding gender-related topics. |
Top Comments by /u/detrans2021:
Nocebo + social contagion = bad bad news. And it's not just with trans stuff. Tiktok has a whole sub culture of people who seem to glamorize, over exaggerate and grift off of pretending to have various disabilities. It's very very odd.
But then again I grew up when everyone self harmed so I suppose this really is nothing new. Just so happens self harm scars are easier to hide then transition scars.
Honestly this is a great way to put it. And it makes sense too. A lot of them are gen z/younger millenials who would technically be looking at 2000s with a sense of nostalgia which seems to be the typical under current of any pop culture, a mix of past and present, bringing things full circle.
Solid assessment though. Fuck it sounds like older tumblr. Keep it far away from me please
I mean they're right....
I can't judge anyone who doesn't have a good sense of what makes them comfort or what doesn't as that is usually linked to other mental health concerns, trauma being one of them, but me personally the second I realized things were getting worse I stopped and took stock of what was going on. For that reason I'm very glad I didn't rush my transition despite others encouraging me to do so.
People are absolutely saturated in it. It's sad to watch. It's frustrating. It's uncomfortable for me when I'm trying to avoid said topics.
None of this laser beamed focus on sex/gender is helping anyone. There's a whole wide world and a million other labels to play around with. Gender/sex is one aspect and people are making it out to be life or death. And of course they're gonna fixate on the one thing that is fundementally unchangeable.
I remember going through this when I was trans. I pretty quickly realized it was the same authoritarian bullshit I left christianity over it. It was 'youre our cannon fodder and if you don't like it then you have internalized issues' even as a trans person I couldn't question the narrative inside the lgbt community. I get the same bullshit I did then, only it's over my sexuality now. Which... Ironically enough is one of the other reasons I left christianity! And if I won't let christians give me hell I sure as hell won't let someone who's allegedly an ally do it either, if they were an ally they'd give me room to think and feel and they don't. They want to control to get what they want and I'm sorry I dont do one way anymore. Either give me something more then just a fake community or fuck off because every group can offer you a fake community.
It's horrible to see what other little gay kids are being shown and it's going to result in the same bs trauma I dealt with as someone who left christianity, and the lgbt community will fade down as all groups do. They go through a passion phase where everyone is part of it, and they have the most power they ever will, but eventually the horrible behavior of its leaders trickle down and damage the young people coming in and they learn to resent it and then seek to over throw it. So long term the community is not likely to stay, especially if they continue to abuse people they way they do, especially the people who are supposed to benefit from it. What will be in its place I don't know. But lgbt people will continue to exist either way. The community doesn't create lgbt people, it's the other way around, and the community sure enjoys acting like it cares when it doesn't. It used to, but now the power hungry people snuck in and see ruining it for the rest of us. I doubt we're the only people feeling burned by it, eventually those burned will out number those not. It's just the way the world works, and especially seeing as they're unwilling to admit their behavior is damaging people.
Hell, I pretty much left lgbt groups behind when I was trans. Pretty quickly realized they didn't have my best interests at heart, if they did they'd be fevorishly looking for better solutions for dysphoria and yet they're too busy sitting there with their thumbs up their asses saying 'but dysphoria makes you special uwu' no bitch it made me horrendously depressed and forced me to take out that pain on a perfectly healthy body when I'm sure there's a better fucking solution. But hey, wanting a better solution is transphobic apparently. They don't care. They never have and they never will, same goes for lg, why are they being forced to date transpeople? No one is obligated to date you fucking period. Don't like it? Tough shit the only gaurentee in life is death and taxes. If you're transitioning for you then people wanting to get in your pants should be irrelevant. And why are they tryna force alleged transphobic people to get with transpeople? Doesn't that put transpeople in more danger? The whole train of logic is dumb as shit. And the irony is lost on them as they fight for some moral cause that doesn't give a shit about them, much like what I did when I was a christian. I had to spread the alleged good news mean while the whole time I knew I was gay and the second they found out they'd leave me on a street corner.
The lgbt community is preying on vulnerable people to do whatever insane goals they have. And more often then not if you follow the cause and effect it doesn't help anyone who's lgbt. If we can call out other insane groups for doing this, then I'm sorry the lgbt community doesn't get a pass.
Long rant over tldr: leaving a group that is supposed to protect you can be really hard, but as time goes on more will feel this way if the group doesn't change and will result ultimately in its down fall, but the people in it will go on and create a new group, repeating the cycle.
I've noticed a lot of people who have shifting sexuality upon transitioning are more likely to detrans. Don't know if that matters or not.
As for hormones they tried doing that as a means of conversion therapy and it didn't work. That's what they did to Alan Turing and he killed himself.
Butch for butch (or masc for masc) is definitely a thing. I'm butch myself (kind of desisted/kind of detrans it's complicated), only into women, and I personally love dating bi women, save for my current girlfriend who's a lesbian, I pretty much exclusively date bi women. I just wanted to point out we exist, not every lesbian is a hard lined no bi women, I know that's certainly a stereotype but I really really doubt I'm the only one. There's hope my friend. But it might be good to focus on figuring out your trauma first, it will help you gain some confidence in the long run.
Have you considered getting some therapy if that's an option?
A combination of things.
Part of it was over compensating for top dysphoria. On a subconscious level I didn't think people would understand the symptoms I had over my chest. I don't know if it was dysphoria or something else, but I stand by it being needed for me at least.
Part of it was extreme internalized misogyny. The hatred towards women as a whole that bubbled to the surface was visceral, don't think I've ever hated anything so much. The irony wasn't lost on me and caused me to put two and two together, all that hatred I was projecting outwards had at one point been turned inward. Pretty much stopped my transitioning plans in their tracks.
Probably a twinge of homophobia in there but it wasn't as prominent as the internalized misogyny. That shit is no joke. Being a very masc woman probably played into that as well.
Currently paused transition until I sort through my emotional issues first and it's been going rather well but I don't think I'd have ever reached this conclusion had I not taken the journey I did. A journey that was rather controlled mind you. I didn't go the unusual transition route which people did give me shit for, glad I stuck to my guns, I would be in some deep regret now. I was pretty much my own doctor for most of it, 5 stars though, would go back haha.
Outlets are important. They say you should have 1 creative hobby, 1 athletic/sport hobby and 1 knowledge building hobby. Assuming you have 3 you love down time will be hard to come by.
That being said, for me I had to learn my own triggers of what would bring up these feelings. Was it a certain conversation? A certain phrase? Images? Thought patterns? Emotional lead up? Learning these things can help mitigate the emotions when they pop up. Self reflection cannot be understated here. Ask yourself the tough questions, answer them honestly.
Avoiding topics regarding gender/sex/biology are very helpful. There is such a vast array of things in this world, taking a step away from trans/biology/gender topics can help this immensely. Even if not long term, taking a break from any and all topics revolving around gender is a great way to bring the feelings down, at the very least slow it down.
I've pretty much divorced myself from any label as best I can. The way I see it, I don't need to label myself anything if I don't want to. I look pretty androgynous irl so most people also avoid any gendered language which works out rather nicely for myself.
As for the actual dysphoria, learn methods that will help. I work out and do heavy weights with focus on muscle/strength building. Obvious health benefits aside I'm able to just enjoy working out in the moment.
Honestly, trial and error it for yourself. If something works it will speak to your soul and will come naturally. Allow yourself the freedom to do whatever it is that you want to do.
I agree. Especially with trans culture online. Fucking forget it. Just a vat of toxic ramblings. The adults are all toxic and semi abusive. If I didn't have trans/lgbt friends irl I'd assume the whole damn community is like this.
But then again that's the internet, giant bucket of crabs.