This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent, detailing a complex and painful experience with transition, detransition, and medical care that aligns with known struggles within the community. The psychological conflict described is not easily faked.
About me
I started transitioning as a teenager because I was deeply uncomfortable with my changing body and thought becoming a woman would solve my anxiety and self-esteem issues. I took estrogen and had surgery, convinced it was the right path for me. I now realize my feelings were rooted in body dysmorphia and internalized homophobia, not a true female identity. I am permanently altered and struggle with the health complications, mourning the man I could have been. I feel stuck living in a body that doesn't feel like mine, and I wish I had received better mental health support instead of just being affirmed.
My detransition story
My entire journey with transition started when I was a teenager, around 15 or 16. I was deeply uncomfortable with my body during puberty and I hated the changes I was going through. I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem, and looking back, I think a lot of my feelings were tied to body dysmorphia and general insecurity, not a true identity as the opposite sex. I was also influenced by what I saw online and from friends in my social circle at the time, which made transitioning seem like the right solution.
I started by socially transitioning, and it felt like an escape from all my problems. I began taking estrogen when I was 18 and eventually had gender reassignment surgery a few years later. At the time, I was convinced it was what I needed to be happy.
Now, I see things very differently. I don't regret transitioning in the sense that it got me to where I am today, but I do regret not understanding my own mind better back then. I’ve come to realize that a lot of my desire to be a woman was wrapped up in internalized homophobia; I’m attracted to men, and I think on some level, being a straight woman felt safer or easier than being a feminine, gay man. I also yearned for the social experiences and physical strength that men have, something I now recognize as a form of social dysphoria, but directed the other way.
I’ve had to unpack a lot of my past mental health struggles, and I no longer experience the body dysphoria I once had. My biggest struggle now is living with the permanent changes. My testosterone levels are practically zero because of the hormones, and I had bottom surgery, so I can’t go back to living as a man in the way I sometimes feel I want to. I often wonder if a happy life is possible for me as a man without a penis and with the health complications from long-term estrogen use. I miss the possibility of bonding with men as just one of the guys, not as a romantic partner.
I live a normal life on the surface. I’m in a relationship with my boyfriend and I’ve established my career. But I feel stuck. My family is traditional and doesn’t understand; my mom thinks that since I’ve had surgery, I can’t be a man and should just conform to being a woman. The medical care I received was also lacking—the clinic I go to is run by nurses who don’t really understand my needs now and just see my low hormone levels as a success of "feminizing therapy."
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s incredibly complex and deeply personal. For me, it was not a simple case of being born in the wrong body. It was a mix of mental health issues, social influence, and a desire to escape from myself. I’ve benefited from therapy that wasn’t just about affirming my transition but actually helped me work through my underlying problems.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 15-16 | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and my body. Began to be influenced by online communities and friends. |
| 18 | Started taking estrogen hormones. |
| 21 | Underwent gender reassignment surgery (bottom surgery). |
| 25 (Now) | Living post-transition, dealing with the consequences and reflecting on my journey. |
Top Comments by /u/detrans_guy:
I'm a bit younger than 25, and I already life a "normal life". I do however not see how the prospect of a normal life is possible long-term given the downward trajectory of trans acceptance. I still miss being able to bond with men beyond romantic affairs, having the strength and physique that testosterone gives you, and not constantly feeling like you are living a lie. I am also concerned about what long-term use of estrogen will do to my physical- and cognitive health.
You are probably right. I established my career and my social circle as a woman, and there are some things that I can't walk back without setting my life on fire. My family is a bit conservative and traditional, and when I talked to my parents about my frustrations they basically said the same as you. My mom thinks that I can't be a man anymore because I don't have a penis and that I should focus my energy on finding a family and conforming to womanhood. It's an odd opinion coming from someone who is conservative as you would think she would have a sex-based definition of man/woman, but apparently not.
I do acknowledge that I should make the best of my situation, but there are just a lot of things about living as a man that I yearn for. I go to the gym with my boyfriend, and seeing how strong and athletic he is makes me a bit envious. The relationship he has with his male friends and how he is treated socially and at work are also things that I would like to experience. These are experiences I could have had and frankly should have had if I just avoided the disaster that is transitioning.
I had gender dysphoria before I transitioned, but its difficult to know how much of that dysphoria was a product of dysmorphia and insecurity, rather than actual dysphoria. I no longer experience dysphoria about my sex or my body, and I have unpacked a lot of the mental health struggles that I had 10-15 years ago. With that said, I do oddly feel social dysphoria in that I have a longing feeling to just be myself as a feminine man. I already live stealth, so I don't think my situation will improve or get significantly better anytime soon.
So what you are saying is that its no point in detransitioning because I have had grs?
Imagine having access to proper medical care and an endocrinologist. The only clinic willing to work with trans people where I live is a family practice run by a group of nurses, and they do not want to prescribe testosterone to trans women. It's beyond frustrating because if I had been female with my testosterone levels they would have immediately prescribed TRT.
I know that. I guess my question to those who have detransitioned is whether it is possible to live a happy and fulfilling life as a man without a penis?
My testosterone levels are undetectable. I talked to my nurse about this and she just shrugged and said it was the goal of "feminizing therapy".