Yeah but haven't you heard that the sub is exclusively cis bootlickers, people suffering from internalized transphobia, and TERFs pretending to be trans? /s

I was a semi-active poster there (r/truscum not r/asktransgender) for 3+ years and was actually a mod briefly for about 2 months at which point I detransitioned and kinda ghosted them. They finally removed me a few months later.

The anti-transmedicalist stance I saw from most trans subreddits really put things into perspective for me during that time. Imagine not even being able to question or challenge the accepted narrative as an actual dysphoric trans person.

Yeah at this point TERF is literally just a synonym for transphobe to them. I'm not a radfem nor have I ever claimed to be. Am I just a TE? TER?

The extent of overuse or misuse of the acronym reminds me of words like "communist" or "nazi" or "bigot" at this point. I feel like no one takes any of those seriously anymore because it feels like they don't have a real meaning at this point.

I don't really understand it either. I'm not friends with any of them now, but I came out years before I even met my former friend group and was the one who identified as trans the longest (and technically probably still am by far despite having detransitioned now). To most people, if anyone was going to remain trans and be happy transitioning, it probably would have been me, but it wasn't.

I stumbled across a couple of my former friends online recently and they're still seemingly happy with their trans identities. People in that friend group who I never expected to be trans have now transitioned. I wonder if they're genuinely still happy with themselves, or if any of them are secretly hiding regrets out of fear of being socially ostracised or having to admit they were wrong. I'm glad I'm no longer trans, but I can't help but feel a bit envious that I dedicated so much of my life to being someone I no longer am, meanwhile they all seem content with things.

While I acknowledge that they're well-intentioned, it really does feel gross. It feels infantilizing and demeaning. I noticed it when I changed my name 5 or 6 years ago but it feels even worse now. I don't know if it's because society has become more overly-affirming and pro-trans or if it's just more annoying to me now because I'm trying to escape all of this. I never really experienced female socialization and I'm an emotionally stunted idiot but come on. If even I can pick up on it then it's excessive.

I am (and nearly always have been) the fairly unpopular combination of "economically left" and "socially right". The only notable exception I can think of is my support for environmentalism that isn't shared by much of the right-wing. I don't consider myself a centrist even if it "balances out" because I still clearly lean to one side or the other on each "set" of issues.

I like to think I'm decently informed on matters, as I've studied things like history extensively since the time I started to read, and politics as I've delved into political theory since my first year or two of middle school. My degree program also heavily focuses on things like this. I'm not an expert and will not claim to be, but I'm aiming to be eventually.

I won't really get into the specifics of my "ideology" here, but I will say that I don't particularly agree with much of the American right or left; I have an abundance of criticisms of "both sides" (yeah, yeah, "both sides bad" I'm sure no one has ever heard that). American rightists have rallied around absurd conspiracy theories and seem to care more about promoting them or screwing over the working class than just about anything. American "leftists" (at least the politicians) aren't even leftists. Socially, sure, they are (but I don't align myself with social progressivism so this isn't even a positive for me), but economically they aren't unless you genuinely subscribe to the belief of "socialism is when the government does stuff, and if it does a lot of stuff, it's communism".

I know this isn't all entirely relevant but I feel like it's interesting to see the sorts of people who align with specific ideas, and I've found it fairly useful on a handful of occasions.

I'll be honest, I'm against transitioning. I was against transitioning when I was doing it, and even before I did it. I know some people will obviously view that as "typical conservative hypocrisy" (in the same sense as "the only moral abortion is my abortion" type of things) but that's my own fault. My transition came from a place of perceived necessity to me at the time. Nothing else helped, and I was so miserable that I expected I'd kill myself eventually. Combine that with everyone claiming that people who don't transition will kill themselves or that there was no other solution, and it seemed like it was the only option to stay alive, even if I was living in a way I wholeheartedly opposed. I felt overwhelming internal conflict even if it seemed like self-preservation rather than just "maybe I'll be happier this way". I won't harass or abuse others who transition, as that's just basic human decency, but I won't support them in that decision. And honestly, if it were up to me, I would restrict or eliminate transition-related "healthcare", but it isn't my choice. There are people it seems to work for (as evidenced by alleviation of dysphoria in some people when they transition), but I'm incredibly skeptical of the long-term results or underlying causes. I also no longer believe it's necessary in order to be happy or to alleviate dysphoria.

With that said, honestly, I don't really care how detransitioners are or aren't addressed politically if it's done in good faith. The problem is, it frequently isn't. Even in the cases it is, there's a glaring lack of research on detransitioners. Is this because of low detransition rates? It not fitting the "current narrative"? People just not caring about us? I don't know. This is a problem because even people who may genuinely sympathise with detransitioners and want to help don't have enough "evidence" to be credible, and anecdotal evidence of some redditors, for example, isn't sufficient. It would help their case if there were more detrans related studies or recent statistics.

I always consider and accept the possibility I may be wrong about things. I don't want to unquestionably support people who don't, even if it supports my positions.

Detransitioning (or transitioning for that matter) aren't political. With that said, if politicians make reference to us, extend support, or improve visibility, I'm fine with that. I only ask that they stop using us as pawns to enact political change (though it's fine if that's a result of their pro-detrans association) just for the sake of it, and instead express genuine concern for us and the other men and women who may someday desist or detransition. I'm a woman first and a detransitioner second, so why is the latter the only important thing?

I tell myself this a lot and it's definitely been helpful. Mine actually seems to be a bit on the smaller side for someone who transitioned, even if it's still massive compared to how it was before. I've definitely seen smaller ones from FtMs or detrans women but I've seen plenty of larger ones too, and it's nice to remember that even some women who never took HRT are like this naturally. Still not happy about it, but it helps knowing I'm not some deformed abomination.

I don't know if there's anything scientifically proven but I think this happened to me too

Some things reversed quickly like my body hair. Some never changed on HRT at all like my voice, so there was nothing to revert back to. Some things went back to normal but took quite a bit of time, like my period and hairline; I already had a pretty masculine hairline before HRT so this was definitely one I was worried about. For the hairline in particular, I feel like it actually mascilinized a bit more after testosterone before it started to re-feminize.

My facial hair is probably the big one though. I suddenly had a major increase in hair growth several months (maybe even a year or more) after testosterone. I grew more during this time than I originally did while medically transitioning. I went from having to shave every few days to having to shave twice a day, so as much as people advise against it, I just epilate my face at this point. it went from small patches of short, light, thin hair to thick black hair everywhere. I never had hair on my neck either, but suddenly several months after HRT I did, and it's actually one of the hairiest parts of my face now.

We don't know all of the long term effects of HRT yet. Detransitioners tend to be ignored, and it's rare that you hear "trans" people openly talk about the negative effects. I sometimes hear mention of vaginal or uterine atrophy but that's it. I really wish I could be involved in some sort of medical or psychological study so we could have some answers, but for now we just have to rely on the experiences of others I guess.

I have plans to remove the tattoos I got several years ago during a period of (likely trans related) poor mental health and have extreme regret over them. I also disagree with them from a religious perspective.

With that said, despite my personal opposition to both, I don't think the two are anywhere close to the same. A tattoo is a cosmetic choice or a form of self-expression, is typically reversible despite the expenses associated with it, and generally has nowhere near the level of negative consequences. While tattoo regret can cause poor mental health, it isn't exactly promoted as the "only cure" for a mental health issue like transition often is.

SRS and HRT completely change the body, many effects of HRT aren't reversible, and even in the best cases, SRS or other trans-related surgeries cannot return your original genitals, breast/chest, face, voice, and so on to you.The long-term effects aren't fully known (at least not on a large scale). Some people who receive these surgeries or hormones were never dysphoric, some learn to live with the dysphoria, and some get over the dysphoria. In all of those cases, they've typically caused some irreparable harm to their body and may never come to terms with the regret.

It's worth noting that there's a difference between "trans-affirming" procedures and procedures carried out for health or aesthetic purposes too. I have no issue with a woman who has back pain from large breasts or has breast cancer receiving a reduction or mastectomy. This is a medically necessary thing. While I disagree with it and do feel regret is a very real possibility, I also feel there' a difference between people who undergo genital modifications or removal of sexual characteristics purely for aesthetic reasons. Body modification as a form of self expression is one thing. Relying on surgery to "treat" mental health issues is another. We typically discourage surgery for people suffering with body dysmorphia and recognize the harmful thinking it can promote, so why is gender dysphoria not treated the same?

It does feel lonely and isolating quite often for me.

When I was trans, that's all I had to do. I automatically had support and a community. I didn't have to to do anything else to fit in. I wasn't drawn to trans identification or the associated community or out of a desire to fit in or be understood, but it was a nice perk, at least initially. One good thing to come from a period of regrets. Turns out many of them share near-identical behaviors and opinions (especially on political matters for whatever reason), so that didn't even last long given that I can't say we frequently saw eye-to-eye.

I don't connect fully with a lot of detrans women. I value the understanding we have for one another because of our shared experience through much of this process.

But it seems many women who detransitioned were previously lesbians (or at least bisexual) and still maintain (or regain) that sense of solidarity or find comfort in that community, and I can't relate to to it as a straight woman. Many detrans women are/were more stereotypically masculine and them being "tomboyish" or "butch" or even just "not particularly feminine", often played a role in their transition, meanwhile that was never the case for me.

Many detrans women mention internalized misogyny or sexual trauma or gender nonconformity as reasons for transition. I can't relate to these; I have a long and unfortunate history of sexual assault but it came several years after I first "became trans", and the other things have never really applied. I can relate to women who transitioned due to dysphoria related to their body and sexual characteristics, but many of them still unfortunately still struggle with dysphoria, meanwhile mine is no longer present. I understand them to a degree obviously due to my own past experience, but I can't relate to this feeling persisting for years after deciding to "embrace womanhood".

I don't mean to generalise if any of it seems that way. There are as many transition and detransition related stories as there are detransitioners. I acknowledge and respect every woman (and every man for that matter) who has gone through this. But the connection that many of the more common themes or traits or underlying causes can create is something I lack, even if I have I still have the detrans "connection" on a basic level that makes someone part of this community. And don't get me wrong, I've met detransitioners I relate to very heavily and it's always a nice feeling, but it's not...particularly common I guess?

And with other women, I struggle too. Average "cis", non-detrans, and non-desisting women. If I was trans for the majority of my life, how can they possibly understand that? The only people who can probably truly understand that are trans people and detrans people. I missed out on female socialization. There's no right or wrong way to be a woman, but it still seems difficult to "be a woman" at all when you missed out on all of that.

I don't hate women by any means. I like being a woman. I don't avoid women or refuse to develop close connections with women, it just doesn't seem to come naturally anymore like it may have long before I transitioned.

Connections and relationships with men feel so much easier and I'm friends with several great men. I assume that's due to more "male socialization" than female. But my enjoyment and adherence to femininity means I don't quite "fit in" there either, much like many feminine men and MtF(tM)s.

My lived experience feels so different to me from almost everyone, and I don't really want it to be. I want a community. I want connections and mutual understanding (on multiple levels). But that's not how things are. I'm fine with it at this point, but it's still a bit lonely all the same.

FtNBtF but I always seemed to relate more to FtMs than NBs back then so I guess I'll weigh in too

Honestly for me it's that I'm not dysphoric anymore. I had dysphoria for years. Diagnosed. I also came out as a very young child, though I didn't know the word "trans" or "nonbinary" yet. Spent essentially 2/3 of my life at minimum considering myself trans. It may have been even longer, but I can't remember far enough back.

I wasn't ever particularly gnc if I'm being honest. I'm not 100% stereotypically feminine or anything but I'm definitely not masculine (nothing wrong with being masculine though). On a 1 to 10 scale if 1 is entirely feminine and 10 is entirely masculine I'd probably put myself at 3.5 or 4. Other people would probably rank me from 2-6 depending on who it is. I would say It's been pretty consistent throughout my life. The only particularly "masculine" things about me are my male-dominated field of study, my eyebrows, and whatever the hell my hairline turned into like 10 years ago.

I wanted surgery for YEARS but never had the opportunity to get it (thank God). I was on HRT for a bit over a year and only stopped as early as I did due to financial struggles. I had very little if any social dysphoria. Most of my dysphoria was related to my chest, genitals, and internal reproductive organs, but that wasn't 100% of it. Most changes HRT could have caused also seemed neutral or positive (voice change positive, body hair neutral or positive, etc.) to me at the time. I didn't want bottom growth or facial hair but was willing to accept a couple of negatives for multiple things I felt would help me. I don't know if it's funny or sad that my clit size and facial hair growth are the only things that didn't reverse themselves after HRT, but that's a discussion for another day.

Aside from no longer being dysphoric, I assume the lack of social dysphoria and being NB rather than FtM played/plays a heavy role for me. Sure, I wanted to look "less female" but the goal wasn't to look/act/be male either. Additional note: my goal wasn't to look like a "uwu soft anime femboi" either like so many NBs seem to want to be. Ew.

I still had dysphoria when I chose to detransition. I had it for quite some time after I made that choice. I don't have it now. I genuinely don't know how or why it's gone, I only wish it happened sooner. I'm 24 and have only been dysphoria-free for... I dunno? A year to a year and a half? Maybe it has to do with the brain not being fully developed until around 25. I mean, was pretty sure I was asexual until I was 20 or so because I'd never been sexually attracted to anyone. Turns out I was an oddly delayed "late bloomer" and I'm actually your average straight woman. Probably a similar case there. Who fucking knows.

Disappearing gender dysphoria is probably not the typical answer. There are plenty of possible answers for FtMtFs though. Self acceptance (or lack of), self discovery, adjusting to change, liking the aesthetic or lifestyle, lack of female socialization and referencing what society deems ideal instead, thinking there's a right or wrong way to be a woman, overcompensation, and so on. It's a case by case thing I guess.

Anyways, I hope you find the answers you're looking for, whatever they happen to be. Best of luck