I said this in another comment but I feel an important missing piece of this convo is the fact that social media in general portray reality in very simplistic, often reductionistic and black-and-white terms where the more radical and simple the position, the more likely it is to get airtime due to the fact that it generates engagement, positive (affirmation) or negative (controversy). Offline communities seem much more process- and need-focused, online communities more outcome- and image-focused.

You might have dissociated parts of yourself and during the experience of transitioning. I think it has happened to me, too, only for me to come to realize that I did so out of fear of my old self (prior to transition) no longer having a space within my life and my life's narrative anymore. Sometimes we do this when we had an or multiple very uncomfortable and/or alienating experience/s.

My parents treated me like shit for coming out to them when I was 13, which led to some of the most traumatic and miserable years of my life and did not help me in the least. I don't like how popular the idea that dismissing your child is a-okay seems to be. Maybe with less pressure from my family to finally conform and adopt my assigned gender (in any capacity), I would not have felt the need to be 100% certain I would not be forced into my assigned gender again by them.

I think it also depends massively on whether your parent accepts you at all in general and respects you as an individual, or just treats you like an extension of themselves, if you feel free to be yourself whichever direction your gender and your journey with regard to that end up taking. Mine belonged in the latter category. A lot of such parents would take "not taking seriously" to mean "blatantly disrespect and continue to pressure and/or punish by withdrawing affection in case of failure to perform".

Not to mention that no teenagers around me medically transitioned anyway because that wasn't and still largely isn't accessible where I live. Those were among the worst years of my life. No amount of internet anything would have made medical transition happen at that age for me. Because it wasn't possible. Starving myself to near-death was possible, however. That, too, is a reality for some people.

Sounds like dissociation. Perhaps your experience resulted in stressful and negative feelings, which would create a need to distance yourself from that experience, as we all tend to do to protect ourselves from things that trouble us. I would talk to a therapist about it because it can easily be that you have something left to process about your experience with transition.

It sounds like you're trying to tell yourself which way to go instead of just living with what feels most genuine to you wrt your gender and presentation.

Whether you stay on here or not, I would advise you to consume less content to "zap yourself out of" anything and just find people, activities, meaningful paths and ways of expressing yourself that you vibe with.

If you are attracted to women and you find one you feel a connection with, you can be honest with her about your incertainties. That is what partners are also there for. As are friends.

You don't need to "resist" any step you desire or an identity you see more of yourself in. It's not like testosterone is a forbidden fruit. It's something you can take to achieve a certain difference in physique. As you've already been on it, you probably got an inkling of how it works and what effects you can expect. How did you like them vs. what you used to experience more of?

Consider what you prefer and go for that, and take your time. It may be a consideration that is difficult. But don't try to propagandize yourself out of a desire. It won't work. Instead, focus on your feelings, what feels most in line with "you", give yourself time and space to see and feel them without value judgments attached. Give yourself the space to be creative with your expression and how you relate to people, see what you find most enjoyable. :)

I know it's hard in a society that judges us for it so much, but there are people and places where there is less of a judgment attached to it and more freedom to be found. You can find that for yourself.

I think you could apply this to a lot of groups on social media. The way these platforms are designed by tech companies creates echo chambers. This very subreddit has dynamics of it, as do many other subreddits, because feedback loops like that are addictive. I don't think it's useful to put the onus on trans people rather than the social media aspect, as I know very well that off social media, trans people act very differently and there is no one trans community or hivemind, nor is there the kind of organization that would make a cult in the groups that I've seen. They're basically loosely organized circles of friends who hang out, discuss, and, shocker, dispute each other's points of view. I know that cancel culture and identitarianism are a big thing these days, so that can definitely contribute to making online communities and even offline organizations that follow the rules of identitarian logic seem cultish, but again, not limited to trans people.

None of the above. I found medical transition to be a solution to an incredibly complex problem I was having, parts of it worked, some of my decisions were influenced by my traumatic past, much of which was due to my family and some peers who abused me in an incredibly humiliating, anti-queer, anti-trans and misogynistic way, but to say any of the above would be not to do the complexity of the issue justice.

Most of my anger goes towards those who've abused and harassed me, and the "therapists" who didn't help me with the trauma but insisted on ridding me of my transness (yes, ridding me of it, not affirming it) or omitting the fact that I had unrelated problems, rather than helping me. Nobody else.

We don't have informed consent here and I am in favour of adopting the model because of the mess of misinformed or straight up destructive "therapy" I've had because of the lack of a detachment and complete missing of precise dedication to my support, as opposed to mere differential diagnosis.

Thanks, that's helpful. This is all extremely difficult to navigate and the reason I assumed intent in the first place was because what was said sounded like a familiar dogwhistle. I guess I shouldn't have, but that is what happened. I'll try not to do that moving forward.

Man, for some reason I absolutely misread that. Sorry!

Anyway - Yes, I've read from a few who were worried about that! I think T can change our bone structure to a degree even as adults, but sometimes it's also a lot of muscular changes and fat redistribution that cause one's jaw to appear more prominent, so I hope they'll find that it can still shift to a certain extent, as you said.

Why do trans women's voices "suck" to you? I think a lot of trans women have very nice, pleasant voices, with or without training, though atypical for women, and I don't get the need to paint them with such broad strokes? I feel like a lot of trans women are acutely aware of and distressed by how their voices are perceived, so yes, if you want detrans women to feel similarly self-conscious, bash them all, but I feel like this self- and other-flagellation serves few of us. Unless you want to clearly outwardly distinguish us from trans women, in which case I'm like, why? Because that makes us more socially valuable?