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Reddit user /u/dieKreatur's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 25 -> Detransitioned: 27
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
regrets transitioning
depression
influenced online
retransition
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
only transitioned socially
autistic
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The user demonstrates:

  • Personal, nuanced reflection on their own history with gender identity, detransition, and political beliefs.
  • Consistent, evolving viewpoints that show genuine internal conflict and intellectual engagement with the topic.
  • Emotional depth and self-awareness, including admitting to past mistakes and changing their mind.
  • Specific, personal anecdotes about their age, watching specific YouTubesrs over time, and conversations with their mother and psychiatrist.

The passion and criticism present are consistent with a genuine detransitioner's perspective and do not indicate inauthenticity.

About me

I started questioning my gender at 25, believing I was a trans man for two years. After a supportive conversation with my mom, I had a sudden, clear realization that I didn't actually want to medically transition. I later read the Cass Review, which shattered my trust in the pro-trans narratives I had believed and confirmed my decision. I now see I had mistaken my discomfort with puberty and societal roles for being trans. I am much happier now, having socially detransitioned and found peace with my female body.

My detransition story

My whole journey with this started when I was about 25. I was really struggling and I think I mistook my unhappiness with my life and my body for being trans. For two years, I thought of myself as a trans man and told my friends. I became so sure this was the path I wanted that I finally came out to my psychiatrist and then my mom. My psychiatrist was very affirmative, and my mom was unexpectedly super supportive and empathetic. We talked a lot about my fears for my professional life, and she assured me it wasn't as big a deal as I thought.

But right after that conversation with my mom, something shifted in me. I started to feel like I was misgendering myself when I used male grammar in my language. I realized that nothing was actually stopping me from transitioning, but I just didn't want to anymore. It was a really sudden and clear feeling.

Around that same time, the Cass Review dropped, and it completely shattered my trust in the pro-trans narratives I had believed. Reading that systematic review showed me the evidence for things like puberty blockers was almost nonexistent. It showed that it’s not true that the vast majority of trans youth will remain trans, and that kids were being rushed into transition. It made me see that if you're just questioning your gender and aren't sure, transition isn't the only or inevitable solution.

Looking back, I think a lot of my feelings were related to autism and just general discomfort with puberty and the roles society expected of me as a woman. I hated my breasts and had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem. I now believe I mistook gender for gender roles. I thought that to have "masculine" hobbies or wear male clothes, I needed to be a man. But that's not true at all. You can have any hobby or wear any clothes you want; no medical transition is needed for that.

I was also heavily influenced online by leftist YouTubers like Contrapoints and PhilosophyTube. I used to watch James Stephanie Sterling a lot since 2018, but her videos became more and more about being trans and neurodivergent in a way that felt performative and without real substance. I think my autistic mind just wanted clearer, less artistic content, and I couldn't enjoy it anymore. This online environment definitely shaped my thinking.

I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to where I am now, which is a place of much more clarity. But I do regret almost going down a medical path that would have permanently changed my body for reasons that weren't right for me. I'm much happier now that I've stepped back from that and from being super online and into politics. I’ve found that focusing on other hobbies and interests, like good journalism and learning new things, has made my life fuller. Life is so much bigger than just gender.

I never took hormones or had any surgeries, so I didn't have to deal with serious health complications or infertility. I only transitioned socially with friends, and now I've detransitioned socially. My main takeaway now is that we're born with the bodies we have, and we have to find ways to cope with that. Transition is one radical, tough way to cope, but if it doesn't work for you, there are other ways to deal with those feelings, like therapy that isn't just affirming but actually exploratory.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
25 Started to think of myself as a trans man and came out to friends.
27 Came out to my psychiatrist and my mom. Had a supportive conversation with my mom and immediately realized I didn't want to transition.
27 The Cass Review was published, which confirmed my decision to detransition socially.

Top Comments by /u/dieKreatur:

18 comments • Posting since April 28, 2024
Reddit user dieKreatur (desisted female) explains the pain of feeling like a "2nd class" person whose pain is ignored in favor of an "imaginary safety for others," and advises finding "normies" who aren't indoctrinated into rigid progressive values.
29 pointsMay 30, 2024
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Indeed it is, they don’t care about actual people. They don’t care if you are hurt, they only care about imaginary safety for others. When I had this realisation (on entirely different topic) I cried for few days, because I felt like person who always be 2nd class and doesn’t deserve to be respected, cared for and so on. But all you need to do is to find people who aren’t indoctrinated into rigid thinking about progressive values - these exist, normies are nice.

Reddit user dieKreatur (desisted female) explains the findings of the Cass Report, a UK government-commissioned systematic review that found almost no evidence for puberty blockers, questions the claim that most trans youth remain trans, and states children are rushed into transition.
23 pointsMay 4, 2024
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Tl;dr it’s systematic review of evidence on care trans youth receive in UK, commissioned by UK government. Evidence for puberty blockers protocols are almost nonexistent, in state of current evidence it’s not true that vast majority of trans youth will remain trans, children are kinda rushed to transition in UK, number of trans youth quickly increased over last decade. Overall it puts gender affirming care in question.

I suggest checking out coverage by Jesse Singal, who is very good at topic of trans youth and very truthful to science.

https://thedispatch.com/article/the-cass-review-wont-go-away/

https://jessesingal.substack.com/p/michael-hobbes-is-spectacularly-wrong

https://reason.com/podcast/2024/05/02/jesse-singal-should-kids-medically-transition/

Reddit user dieKreatur (desisted female) comments on the goal of transition, arguing that body happiness can be achieved without hormones and that trans people existed before modern medicine.
22 pointsApr 30, 2024
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Omg that’s so sad :/ it’s great that you feel better with yourself and your body - and that’s the ultimate goal of transition, isn’t it?

Arguments to push back: 1 Cis people experience unhappiness with their bodies and with their lives too and can fix that by improving style, not everyone with body issues is trans 2 trans people existed before modern medicine, didn’t take hormones and lived their lives, so clearly hormones aren’t the only solution

Reddit user dieKreatur (desisted female) comments on the shift in James Stephanie Sterling's content, expressing concern that it has become overly focused on personal identity and politics.
20 pointsMay 1, 2024
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Also leftist youtubers. Contrapoints, PhilosophyTube and James Stephanie Sterling come to my mind.

I’m somewhat worried about Stephanie Sterling. I used to watch her frequently since 2018 and her videos became… more personal, more political (yes I know Sterling always was political, it wasn’t just video games journalism), more self-deprecating (not in a goofie way it how it started), more about trans stuff. Sterling is now that disabled/neurodivergent/trans person who can’t shut up about it. And I want to be happy for her, but also can’t enjoy her videos anymore.

Reddit user dieKreatur (desisted female) explains how to tell a family you are detransitioning, suggesting a script that acknowledges their past support while stating a change of heart after 10 years.
18 pointsMay 5, 2024
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Maybe „Mum, I remember what you said, that you want me to be 100% sure about transition, because you don’t want to go through it twice. But hear me out. I know you love me and you were super supportive of my transition, because you wanted me to be happy. And the thing is, I’m not happy anymore. I was 100% sure back then, but after 10 years I changed my mind”

Reddit user dieKreatur (desisted female) explains why fear of the queer community is rational and advises using resources for managing toxic relationships.
16 pointsMay 31, 2024
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It’s well founded, very rational fear! How to fix this: well honestly search for resources how to keep relationships with toxic family members. Some individual relationships can be saved with your hard work, in other cases you will discover that people actually don’t think what you expect them to think, some relationships will go nasty.

Reddit user dieKreatur (desisted female) explains how a supportive conversation with her mom and the Cass Review led her to realize she didn't want to transition after identifying as a trans man for two years.
12 pointsMay 2, 2024
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I thought of myself as trans man for 2 years, but only friends knew. Then I became sure that this path I really want and came out to my psychiatrist, then my mom. Psychiatrist were affirmative, my mom was unexpectedly very supportive and empathetic. We talked about my fears about profesional life and my mom assured me it’s not that big of a deal as I thought. After conversation with mom I started feeling like I’m misgendering myself when I use male grammar (I don’t live in English-speaking county). I realized nothing stops me from transitioning, but I don’t want to. Then Cass Review dropped and it shattered my trust in pro-trans narratives. Yeah if I just question my gender and aren’t sure it absolutely doesn’t mean that transition is inevitable or the only solution.

Reddit user dieKreatur (desisted female) advises asking four key questions before transitioning: the goal, its physical possibility, if it solves specific problems, and if less aggressive solutions exist.
10 pointsMay 16, 2024
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Ask yourself 1) what do you want to accomplish with transition 2) is is physically possible 3) would that result solve your specific problems (not vague „gender dysphoria”, but the thing with which you actually struggle) 4) is it any other way to solve these problem that very aggressive medical intervention destroying your body in the long term (for example you will get vaginal atrophy)

Reddit user dieKreatur (desisted female) comments on the spread of disinformation, explaining that the "Maintenance Phase" podcast hosts spread falsehoods about obesity, health impacts, and weight loss.
10 pointsMay 4, 2024
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I hope so too. Check out this: https://substack.com/@checkthefacts?r=1kbm9v&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=profile Turns out that Michael Hobbes and his cohost of Maintenance Phase spread rampant disinformation about obesity, health impacts of obesity, ability to lose weight and related health topics. I’m very angry that I fell for this and used to sent them money on patreon.

Reddit user dieKreatur (desisted female) comments on the difficulty of questioning an entire paradigm, admitting their own immaturity in assuming their side was correct by default.
9 pointsApr 30, 2024
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you know, at first I was offended that you assumed I’m teenager or something as I’m almost 29, but… yeah, I guess I’m not really mature if I had assumption that my side is correct by default until proven otherwise. The hard thing for me tho is not questioning beliefs/sources, but questioning entire paradigm