This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it's a bot or a bad-faith actor. The user's story is highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent. They discuss complex personal details like surgical specifics (keyhole top surgery, fat transfer concerns), deep regrets (inability to breastfeed), and psychological motivations (trauma, relationship influence) in a way that reads as genuine lived experience. The tone is passionate and defensive at times, which aligns with the expected emotional state of someone dealing with detransition.
About me
I started taking testosterone at sixteen because I thought becoming a boy would make me safe from past trauma. I had top surgery at eighteen, partly for a boyfriend who preferred men, and I now deeply regret it. I've realized I was just a traumatized girl and my discomfort was never about being the wrong gender. I stopped testosterone and now I'm grieving the loss of my breasts and the chance to ever breastfeed my future children. I'm working with a surgeon now to get implants because I miss my body and want to feel like myself again.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition is deeply tied to a lot of pain and confusion I experienced as a kid. I went through a lot of childhood trauma, and in my mind, being a female made me a target. I thought that if I tried to look like a boy, I would become invisible and safe. For a while, it worked. You can only live a lie for so long, though.
I started taking testosterone when I was about 16. I thought that was what would finally make me feel comfortable in my own body. I wasn't sure what else the deep discomfort I felt could be, so I guess expressing it as a gender thing was the path I chose. Looking back, I know that discomfort was about something else entirely; it had nothing to do with my gender.
A couple of years after starting T, I had top surgery. I got the keyhole procedure, so I have virtually no scarring. At the time, I was in a long-term relationship with a guy I thought I was going to marry. He was bi with a lean towards men, and he took care of me through my entire recovery. A part of me now wonders if I did it for him, and that's a really terrible reason to get surgery.
I regret transitioning immensely. I was a traumatized minor who had no business making those decisions. I know now that I am a woman, and that's pretty self-explanatory for why I detransitioned. It never felt right to begin with.
The biggest thing I live with now is the loss. I hate being flat. I want to be a mom more than anything, and I know I can never breastfeed now, which just eats me up inside. I lost a part of myself that I can’t ever get back. I’m working with my surgeon, who also does reconstruction after mastectomies, to hopefully get implants. I miss my breasts and I miss having cleavage.
I’ve been off testosterone for a few months now. I haven’t noticed any new fat coming back, just my body redistributing back to where my curves belong. My chest is mostly loose skin now, which might make getting implants easier. I'm still exploring all my options.
A lot of people see my piercings and my alternative style and might think it’s connected to my past, but it’s not. I started getting piercings long before I ever transitioned. I’m just a body mod enthusiast; I think they look neat and it’s part of my personal style. If I had stayed cis my entire life, I’d still be an emo chick. It has nothing to do with my gender identity.
I don’t really have the answers for why some people are trans and some aren’t. For me, I’m just not trans. I discovered that about myself. I’m just a woman who has some stuff to sort through.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 18 | Had top surgery (keyhole procedure). |
| 23 | Stopped testosterone. Began the process of detransition. |
| 23 | Currently exploring breast reconstruction options. |
Top Comments by /u/dilapidatedpigfetus:
thank u that is a relief that's how im perceived even if i cannot see it myself yet. i had top surgery a couple years ago, but i had keyhole so i have virtually zero scarring. doc that did it also does reconstruction after a double mastectomy and he's totally fine with doing that so i'm working on it :,)
i sense some passive aggressive undertone in your questions, and i wonder how much of it is genuine curiosity and how much of it is trying to take a dig at me. it doesn't bother me that i didn't pass, because it never felt right to begin with. i started taking T when i was like 16 because i thought that's what would make me feel comfortable in my body, but the specifics are personal and i'm not obligated to disclose that and i think it's irrelevant considering all i was asking is if i look female to people who don't know me 😭😭 but i de transitioned because i am a woman and not a man, and i think that's pretty self explanatory
idk i hate being flat, i wanna be a mom and i know i can never breast-feed now :,) which eats me up. but im scared of the fat transferring thing bc i had lipo initially, so i have no fat to blend that into and it might look odd. i'll probably end up getting under the muscle implants bc while being flat is valid, i miss my boobas lol 😭 and i miss having cleavage
HAHA nah not rude at all i dont mind answering questions, honestly the piercings have nothing to do with my being trans before, i started getting em before i transitioned (as a traumatized minor that had no business transitioning and i regret it immensely,) but i just think they look neat on me and i like the way they make me look, it's moreso correlated with my style preference and less with my gender identity. piercings are typically a more feminine thing as well, and i SUCKED at being a guy (pooner lol) but yea i just think they're neat tbh i dont rly talk to/hang around any ftm ppl, but i know a lot of alt girls who are down w the piercings and stuff 🤷🏻♀️ im just an emo fuck ig
probably because some people really are trans, and it's not so much about appearance but about how they feel on the inside. i myself am just not trans and i discovered that about myself. i can't and won't speak for anyone else, maybe ask someone who is still trans because i'm a woman and dont have the answers you're looking for
the piercings are just part of me, have been for a long time, long before my transition. i'm 23 now and have no plans to remove them, in fact, there are more i am interested in getting! i am just a body mod enthusiast, it has nothing to do with wanting to 'hide' behind fashion. also, since i had top surgery, i won't be able to breast feed and it's definitely something that i mourn. i lost a part of myself i can't ever get back. and i am definitely growing my hair out hahaha, it's naturally blonde, i dye it this color
i mean everyone's individual experience is different but in my case, i disagree 🤷🏻♀️ and i've actually spent a very minimal amount of time in ftm circles. pretty much anyone can be alt, regardless of gender identity. they just aren't related tbh. if i stayed cis my entire life i'd still be an emo ass chick
idk ive been off for a few months and haven't noticed any fat coming back:( just redistributing, like back to where my curves belong etc. my chest is more or less just loose skin at the moment, but that will make it easier for implants if i do go this route. i'm still exploring my options for sure and i'm talking to my surgeon and docs about it
i underwent a lot of childhood trauma, so in my mind, being a female made me a target and trying to look like a boy made me invisible. and it worked, but you can only live a lie for so long. i was uncomfortable with something in myself on the inside but it had nothing to do with my gender, i guess that's just the way i chose to express it as a kid because it's like i wasn't sure what else it could have been, yanno? now that i'm older i know that i'm a woman and i just have some stuff to sort through
lol i understand what ur saying but it does matter what i look like, even if i am a woman. i am detrans and was on hormones for a long time. was just asking for an unbiased perspective if i pass or if i appear to be androgynous (which is what i don't want) fully aware that i'm a chick. this post wasn't meant to state otherwise so pointing out that i am matter-of-factly female doesn't answer my question. plenty of other ppl have given me good feedback tho, thanks anyway!