This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, specific knowledge of hormone therapy effects (dosage sensitivity, fat distribution, bone changes).
- Consistent, nuanced viewpoints that reflect a long-term, lived experience within the community (referencing 15 years of involvement).
- Empathetic and detailed advice that is context-rich and doesn't rely on scripted talking points.
- A natural writing style with personal asides, varied sentence structure, and conversational tone ("prolly," "ur," "🤷♂️").
The passion and criticism expressed are consistent with a genuine detransitioner/desister's perspective.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort started with puberty, as I hated the changes happening to my body. I later identified as a trans man and began taking testosterone and had top surgery, influenced by online communities. I realized my transition was an attempt to escape deep-seated self-esteem issues, depression, and trauma. Through therapy, I understood my journey wasn't about gender and I now identify as female again. I've made peace with the permanent changes and am focused on my healing and living my life.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been long and complicated, and it’s taken me a lot of years to understand it. I was born female, and my discomfort started around puberty. I really hated the development of my breasts and the changes my body was going through; it just never felt right to me. Looking back, I think a lot of this was tied to a deep-seated low self-esteem and some body image issues that probably bordered on an eating disorder. I just didn't feel comfortable in my own skin.
I started identifying as non-binary first, and then later as a trans man. A huge part of my life was online, and I can definitely say I was influenced by the communities I found there. The culture around being trans felt different 10-15 years ago; it was less about having hundreds of micro-labels and more straightforward. But as things changed online, I got swept up in that new way of thinking, which involved a lot of over-analyzing every single feeling.
I decided to take testosterone. My body is really sensitive to medications and hormones, so even a full dose was a lot for me. I had to lower it to find a level that felt okay for my system. It wasn't an all-or-nothing thing; I had to listen to my body. I also got top surgery. I don't regret the top surgery itself because I always hated my breasts, and removing them felt like a relief from that specific discomfort.
But my reasons for transitioning weren't all coming from a healthy place. A lot of it was about escapism—trying to escape from myself, my past, and my problems. I struggled with depression and anxiety for a long time. I also have bipolar disorder, which adds another layer to how I experience my emotions and my sense of self. I think I was trying to solve internal problems with an external change.
My thoughts on gender now are simpler. I see being trans as simply identifying as a different gender than the one you were born. But for me, personally, I realized my journey wasn't really about gender. It was about other issues I needed to work through. I’ve benefited from therapy that wasn’t just about affirming a trans identity but that helped me dig into my underlying trauma and self-esteem issues. That was what I actually needed.
I don't fully regret my transition because it was a path I had to go down to learn about myself. The physical changes, like a more defined jawline from testosterone, are permanent, but I’ve had to make peace with that. I’ve had to learn to see my own features as beautiful, realizing that a strong jaw or a certain face shape doesn’t make me less of a woman. I tell other people that all the time—that they have beautiful, model-like features—because I truly believe we are our own harshest critics.
I’m almost 30 now, and my sense of self has evolved so much. Everyone changes and grows, and my past is just a part of my story. I’m in a place now where I’m trying to focus on my own healing, my job, my hobbies, and not wasting energy on over-analyzing identity all the time. I’m just trying to live my life.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on the ages I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and breast development. |
| 15 | Began identifying as non-binary online. |
| 17 | Socially transitioned and began identifying as a trans man. |
| 23 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 24 | Had top surgery. |
| 25 | Lowered my testosterone dose due to sensitivity. |
| 29 | Realized my transition was driven by other issues and began identifying as female again. |
Top Comments by /u/dilly_bar18:
Everyone used to be someone else younger. Everyone experimented with their body and appearance. Everyone’s identity has grown and shifted. Everyone’s sense of self is always evolving. That’s just one of youre you went through to get to the you that he loves now. It’s not a big deal and if he thinks it is u probably don’t wanna be w him.
It’ll prolly change in the fat distribution. Ur cheeks will fill out and ur skin will get softer. But if u got any brow bone or nose growth or jaw bone growth that’s permanent and needs surgery. Like how trans women get facial surgery to shave all those bones down. So depends on how much it changed from before 🤷♂️. If ur face is mostly just more defined or doesn’t look too much diff Ull prolly look similar. Regardless more fem anyways tho. It rlly depends on your face. Wishing you the best 🖤
I think this is a self esteem issue. Ur very pretty and if the first pic is pre T, u were always very pretty. Like. VERY pretty.
Maybe ur stuck on having a defined jaw/square shape face and not a round one—- I also have that, that’s not inherently masculine. Like we have a v v similar shape. Go look at some models—- it’s a consistent feature across the industry u literally have a model face. U have a flat brow bone, which is a big gender reader to others better or worse. You have big eyes. A small face.
Like genuinely not to sound like a narcissist but we look like siblings, I get compliments and think the features we share are beautiful and apparently other ppl do too. Ur not the only person w ur features, there’s many many many many women who look similar. So ur not alone, ur face isn’t unusual. I’m not fucking w u go look at models. Ull see ur face everywhere. U literally have a face for billboards. Hair? Immaculate 👌🏼 no notes
It’s fine to wonder if people think or feel like you. It’s not productive, accurate, empathetic or v aware to assume because u have an internal experience everyone else is like u. Just as a general, but especially when it comes to emotions, personal experiences in life, n ppls relationship to themselves. Bc those r things u simply can’t know, experience or feel for someone else. It’s impossible.
Online is also a lot of (young) ppl living in a weird virtual world while trying to grow up and it’s diff than 10 yrs ago even. Things werent like this 10-15yrs ago. Irl I’ve rarely met a trans person who says dumb shit like that. And didn’t grow up around ppl w that mentality (I’m almost 30). I’ve been in the community as my reg daily life for 15 yrs— this is a new mindset ppl have n things have changed dramatically. Most ppl were binary back then, had generally more stable sense of self it seemed, weren’t obsessed w identity and micro labels and mental illnesses and hyper individualistic over analyzation of every single thing they n others think or feel or say or do. ur interacting w a group largely created online that’s massive and the public. Ur gonna see a bunch of weird thinking, amped up in some isolated bubble where it began. Yes these ppl exist more and more. But there have always been trans ppl, and it wasn’t this type of culture. There were trans ppl bf this who were nothing like many folks today who r 10-25 w 400 labels and mental illnesses and excuses and so woke they circled back into homo and transphobia half the time.
U can be critical of society rn, and how gender is being understood rn. Curious about others (so u should ask, and not just young ppl in TT comments or online groups). And have ur own journey and healing of ur own trauma and should! But just bc a certain flavor of ppl has exploded in a v new strange context of learning and meeting thru media the last 5-8yrs, doesnt mean trans ppl aren’t real or never were. I think we over think individuals lives when it’s none of our business. I take ppl for what they say they r in general despite things I may have questions about. I’m biracial many ppl the same mix ID diff than me— I’m not them. Idk how they grew up. What they were told. How ppl treat them. I don’t always look like them. Im bipolar and many ppl conceive of their illness vastly diff than me, and it informs their identity. We may have diff symptoms, outcomes, events, n context. I see trans as simply what it is— identifying as another gender than u were born as. That’s it. I cannot possibly know how someone else exists. Or their life story and I don’t have to. Im not a therapist. N I don’t get paid to fix ppl or waste my energy on their deep inner system. I make friends I like I have a job I have hobbies and my own mind to deal w. A system or current social climate == individuals inner existence.
Happened to me when I was on full dose. I’m sensitive to everything tho, meds, foods, substances etc a little goes a long way for my body. I lowered my dose and then I was fine. Ppl don’t have the same amount of hormones as each other anyways. It’s not all or nothing it’s ur body, find what feels right.