This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The user consistently writes from the perspective of a concerned, anxious mother with a specific, emotionally charged story. The language is personal, nuanced, and emotionally variable (love, fear, gratitude), which is difficult for bots to replicate convincingly. The account serves as a support-seeking parent, not someone claiming to be a detransitioner themselves.
About me
I am a mother whose daughter, at twelve, wrote me a letter saying she thought she was a boy after making an online boyfriend and struggling with loneliness. I believe her feelings were driven by a deep need for acceptance and discomfort from starting puberty very young. I am terrified she might pursue medical changes and worry that therapists encourage transition over addressing underlying mental health. I love my daughter completely and just want her to be happy as herself, without changing her body. Since the letter, she hasn't mentioned it again, and I am hopeful this was a phase in her search for belonging.
My detransition story
My journey with my daughter's gender confusion has been the most difficult and anxiety-ridden experience of my life. I am writing this to share our story, hoping it might help other families feel less alone.
It all started when my daughter was 12 years old. In February, she wrote me a letter that completely shook my world. She told me she thought she was a boy, that she hated her girl body, and that she wanted a boy's haircut and clothes. This came as a total shock because she had always been a girly girl who loved to dance, draw, and anime. She also mentioned in the letter that she had a crush on a girl, but said she didn't think she was a lesbian, just "not straight."
Looking back, I can see the pieces coming together. She has always been a beautiful soul—kind, loving, and sensitive—but she never felt like she fit in. She's an only child and had a lot of trouble making and keeping friends. Other kids could be cruel, and she was often left out. Everyone else seemed to have a close friend, but she didn't.
About nine months before she gave me the letter, she started playing an online game with a chat function. She began talking to people who identified as gay and bisexual. She even became the "boyfriend" of a boy she met online, who is bisexual and lives far away. She was pretending to be a boy with him. I believe she wanted to be a boy because her online boyfriend wanted a boyfriend. She was lonely, and the internet accepted her in a way the real world hadn't. She was looking for acceptance anywhere she could find it.
She got her period very early, at nine years old, just before her tenth birthday. I've wondered if the discomfort of early puberty played a part in her feelings about her body.
My main thought on gender is that we are so much more than our gender. I wish people could learn to love themselves and just live as human beings. I tried to remind my daughter that she is a human being with a beautiful soul and so much to offer this world. I believe my daughter may be a lesbian, and that is perfectly fine with me. I am scared to death that she might want to go further with hormones or surgery in the future.
I am very concerned about the role of therapists and healthcare professionals. From reading other stories, it seems like many people have underlying mental health issues that need to be addressed, but therapists are quick to encourage life-altering decisions instead of working through those problems. I have a friend who is a psychologist at a university, and she says so many kids come to her with gender issues; they need therapy, not hormones. I told my daughter that at 12, she is too young to make such a big decision, and that we all change as we get older.
This experience has consumed me with worry. I am emotionally drained from the anxiety. I love my daughter more than anything; she is my life. I just want her to be happy and to know she is loved for who she is, without having to change her body.
She hasn't brought up the subject since she gave me the letter in February, which makes me hopeful that this might be a phase driven by her search for belonging.
Here is a timeline of what happened:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 9 years old | Got her first period. |
| 12 years old (February) | Wrote me a letter saying she thinks she is a boy, hates her girl body, and has a crush on a girl. |
| 12 years old (for about 9 months prior to the letter) | Started playing an online game, made friends in the LGBTQ+ community, and got an online boyfriend who believes she is a boy. |
| 12 years old (after the letter) | Has not brought up the subject of being a boy again. |
Top Comments by /u/dinkey1:
Has anyone experienced Rapid onset Gender Dysphoria? My 12 year old daughter told me she thinks she is a boy. She wrote me a letter and gave it to me in Feb. I’m the letter she wrote about hating her girl body. She would like a boys haircut and clothes. She hasn’t brought it up since the letter. She dances, loves to draw, loves animae, was always a girly girl. She got her period at age 9.... 1 month before her 10th birthday. She also said she had a girl crush. She doesn’t think she is a lesbian, but not straight either. (Her words) I’m so emotionally drained from the anxiety I have over this. I love her more than anything. I always want her to be happy. Thank you for any responses and advice.
I hope you are feeling better. I have no experience in any of this, but as a mother, I would expect a health care professional to take all of those things you discussed into account. It seems many people have mental health issues. They need to be addressed. From reading here on the d/trans page, people are suffering and therapists are encouraging people to make this life altering decision. I think it’s harmful for many. I’m a confused mom. My daughter told me that she thinks she is a boy. Ugh! It’s consuming me. I’m thankful for this board and happy that people are here for one another. I’ve been thinking of you. Love and hugs to you. 😊 Ps, I’m glad you are speaking out!!! You are making people think .
I’m new to all this. My daughter whom is 12 told me she thinks she is a boy. She told me how much she dislikes her girl body, wants a boys haircut , and clothes. She also said, she likes girl things too. Since she is only 12 and extremely bright, I told her she is too young to make decisions like that. We had a discussion about how we change as we get older. She has friends of the internet who accept her for being whatever she thinks she is. I can tell you this with all certainty, your parents will be HAPPY!!!!! I know I would be over the moon!!! Therapists are quick to prescribe hormones. They don’t want to be responsible for something tragic happening. I believe kids and adults feel this way because of underlying issues. I have a friend who is a psychologist at a university and she said that so many kids come to her with gender issues. They need therapy, not hormones. I wish you all the best!! Thank you for sharing your journey. It gives moms like me hope! Thank you! Ps. I wish people could learn to love themselves and just live as human beings. We are more than our gender!😊
Yes, it seems to be very rapid. As a mother, I will always love her... no matter what, She is my life, but I am so confused ... I’m anxiety ridden . She is beautiful inside and out . She has had issues with fitting in and about 9 months ago started playing a game that has chat. She has been chatting with people who are gay and bisexual. All of a sudden she starts believing she hates her girl body and has a male mind. She is also the” boy friend of one of the people on this game/chat. There is so much to say, I don’t know where to begin.... ugh. She is making him believe she is a boy. When she wrote me a letter telling me she thought she was a boy and hated her girl body, she also said she has a crush on a girl. I believe she may be a lesbian.... and that is fine. I am scared to death that she may want to go further in the future with hormones and such. Thank you for responding to my questions.
Ugh!!!! This is so hard for you and I’m So sorry! Many hugs and well wishes Please don’t ever hurt yourself! I would have tried to talk you out of it and I don’t even know you. I guess what friends and family are afraid of is, that you wouldn’t feel loved or supported if they said anything( I happen to be one of those who say something) so they go along with what you want to do. Even though they know it isn’t the thing to do. I’m thinking of you!! Are you still In therapy? Again, thank you for speaking out! If one person reads this and decides not to do it, you’ve made a difference ! I’m here if you ever want to chat! Your internet Mama.😊
Yes, she is in good health. Has had difficulties with friends in the past. She is such a good girl. Kind, loving, sensitive,... all the good things. Never feels like she fits in. Everyone has a close friend, except her. Yes, her online boyfriends believes she is a boy and is her boyfriend. He is bisexual. I believe she wants to be a boy because the online boyfriend wants a boyfriend. He’s in 8th grade and lives far away. Again, thanks for chatting me me. I truly, truly appreciate it. She always seems To be left out by fiends.
Thank you. I’m trying to remind her that she is a human being.... with a beautiful soul and so much to offer this world. She is more than her gender. She is what the world needs more of . I think she is lonely and the Internet has accepted her. She is an only child. She has had trouble with making friends and their loyalty to her. Kids can be cruel at that age. She is looking for acceptance. I can’t begin to tell you how scared and worried I am for her. Again, I truly appreciate your response.