This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's perspective is highly consistent with a specific radical feminist desister viewpoint. Their language is passionate, nuanced, and deeply personal, reflecting the lived experience and strong opinions common in this community. The advice given is repetitive in its core philosophy but varied in its application, which is typical of a passionate individual rather than a scripted bot.
About me
My journey started with a deep discomfort during puberty, especially with my developing breasts, and I found what felt like an answer in transgender identity online. I transitioned to male with hormones and surgery, believing it would fix my deep unhappiness, but the relief was temporary and my underlying depression remained. I realized I was trying to escape the trauma of being female in a misogynistic world, and that I had bought into a consumerist idea that I could purchase a new self. I stopped testosterone and found peace by rejecting gender stereotypes altogether, understanding I am simply a woman who is comfortable being masculine. Now, I accept my female body as a neutral fact, and this self-acceptance has brought me more peace than transitioning ever did.
My detransition story
My whole journey started with a deep discomfort during my puberty. I hated the changes my body was going through, especially the development of my breasts. I felt like they marked me out and made me a target, and I just wanted to hide. I was also struggling with depression and really low self-esteem. I spent a huge amount of time online, and that’s where I first learned about being transgender. It felt like an answer. I thought, "This is it. This explains why I feel so wrong in my body." I was heavily influenced by what I saw online and by friends in those spaces who affirmed this new identity.
I came out as non-binary first, but that quickly escalated to identifying as a binary trans man. I started testosterone when I was 19. I was convinced it would solve all my problems and finally make me feel at home in my body. I got top surgery a year later, at 20. For a little while, I did feel a sense of relief. The thing I hated most about my body was gone.
But the relief didn't last. The underlying issues—the depression, the anxiety, the feeling of not being good enough—were all still there. I just had a new cage to live in. I started to realize that my feelings of being "internally male" weren't a real thing you could feel; it was just an idea I had latched onto. I began to understand that a lot of my desire to transition was a form of escapism from the trauma of growing up female in a deeply misogynistic society. I was trying to escape the expectations and the sexualization that came with being a woman.
I also started to see the whole thing through a different lens. I began to think that the transgender movement was, in a way, a logical extension of capitalism. Companies realized they could make a lot of money by selling us the idea that we could buy a new gender, with hormones, surgeries, and whole new wardrobes. I felt like I had swallowed a consumerist lie.
I stopped testosterone when I was 22. I don't regret my transition in the sense that I needed to go through it to get to where I am now, but I do deeply regret the permanent changes. I’m now infertile, and my voice is permanently deepened. I have to live with the consequences of decisions I made when I was very unwell.
What really helped me was ditching the entire "transition mindset." I had to stop thinking I had to perform or become anything. I am a woman because I am female. That’s a neutral biological fact. It doesn't require me to wear dresses or makeup or act a certain way. I found a lot of peace in radical feminist literature, which helped me understand my discomfort as a reaction to misogyny, not a problem with my body itself. Getting off social media, picking up hands-on hobbies, and spending time in nature were crucial for my mental health. It got me out of my own head and stopped the constant, obsessive navel-gazing.
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s largely a set of oppressive stereotypes. "Masculinity" and "femininity" are just cages. I'm just me, a woman who is comfortable being masculine. I don't need to change my body to fit that. I’m finally learning to accept myself as I am, a female person, and that has brought me more peace than transitioning ever did.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started puberty; began to intensely hate my developing breasts. |
| 17 | First encountered transgender ideas online; began to question my gender. |
| 18 | Came out as non-binary. |
| 19 | Came out as a trans man; started testosterone. |
| 20 | Had top surgery. |
| 22 | Stopped testosterone; began my detransition. |
| 23 | Found peace and acceptance as a masculine woman. |
Top Comments by /u/dont_kill_yourself_:
yes, unfortunately i think it stems from capitalism. companies realized they can double their income if they create "boy things" and "girl things" and market them accordingly. market separation. and our consumerist society fucking swallowed it.
trans people i think are just the logical progression of that model. what is more consumerist than the idea you can buy yourself a gender?
You are a regular woman. Don't let the capitalist propaganda tell you you have to waste money on useless beauty products to be seen as "normal". Chasing these extremes, going from trans man to "oh, I'm a woman now, guess I have to be hyper feminine" will drive you insane! Lose the transition mindset first. Find a productive hobby. Get out in nature if you can. Stop being hyperfocused on your looks for once.
Ditch this moronic fucking idea that to be a "proper" woman you have to act and live a certain way. Women are just female people. You are female. Therefore, you are a woman. Yes, you are a woman who has taken testosterone and therefore you are different than other women but you are no "less" of a woman. Woman isn't shopping, doing your hair, wearing bras and giggling with your girlfriends. I will only forgive you for thinking that if you are an actual child because this is an insanely childish and stereotypical view of womanhood. It's frankly offensive.
Just live your life normally. Do what you like without thinking of it as a "girl" activity.
Don't be afraid. You are female and always were. This is a fact that is unchanged by whether you have breasts, a beard or a deep voice. You are a female who has taken testosterone and you just have to accept that this is your reality. But imo don't stress yourself with trying to completely reinvent yourself again but with dresses & makeup this time around. Being female is a neutral biological fact. Being female doesn't expect anything from you. Don't go thinking "i have to transition into femininity or else I'm not a woman" because living in this constant chase of extremes is sure to drive you insane. Give yourself time and let the changes come slowly. Accept yourself, accept that people might still see you as a guy and that some will understand your situation and some will not. But don't force yourself into drastic changes. Take small steps. Focus on your interests, pickup a new skill preferably one where you do something with your hands as it can be therapeutic, go out in nature, get out of your head for a while. Breathe, it will be okay. I wish you the best of luck!
Sis, these 'feelings of being internally male' aren't real. You can't 'feel' like a sex because it's not a feeling. You just are. You can't 'feel' like a woman either. You just are one.
From your post it seems to me like you have a tendency to become obsessively self-reflective and then that makes you spiral. Obsessed over transitioning or not. Very animal in a cage behavior. Not good.
I'd suggest you 2 things if you aren't doing these already: 1 hobby to keep you active and 1 to let you be creative. You sound like you badly need enrichment and exercise. It will keep you out of this pointless navel gazing behavior and probably improve your relationship with your body.
And curb your screen time. Get off social media, especially tiktok if you use that. Don't engage in trans discussions / topics until you feel better. It works, i promise! Cheers!
Gosh fucking darn it, how about you realize that femininity is a moronic fucking capitalistic invention. Whatever ideal of the perfect feminine woman you see in your head is not real. It's just an amalgamation of products amd procedures. Made to make mens dicks hard, not to actually empower women. Masculinity isn't real either. You are just you. Stop trying to fit into the idiotic cages this moronic fucking society built for you. Of course you feel like shit, you're navel gazing yourself into a different dimension. Accept you're a complex human being and not a Pinterest aesthetic board. As long as you're healthy, you are fine. Get a hobby or something. Do something with your hands. And get off social media!
But I have never felt like I’m being authentic when I socially inhabit the role of “girl”
If you're stuck with the conviction that "woman" is a social role, a performance one has to keep up then no wonder you hate it. The thing is that your sex is a neutral fact about you. It requires nothing of you.
You can keep your masculine name, be called brother or boyfriend or whatever. Plenty of women do (myself included lol). And you don't have to look, sound, dress, behave, speak like other women because you're you and fitting in actually a pointless task and a war against windmills lol. I'd know because i don't pretend, idfc what others think of me. im totally different from other women and i like it. But i am a woman.
But calling myself a woman didn't always come easy for me, i'm desisted too. But it was bit by bit. What helped me most is spending time with other masculine women, many of them former trans, and finding solidarity in that. There are women like you out there, there are women who feel just as you do. And you will find them if you try.
The thing is that it's not you who should be suffering because you can't fit an arbitrary gender role. it's the stupid role itself that's regressive and hurtful. you have to realize that, accept that and, if you're strong enough, further the fight against it!
Yes, you sound like a person who has been hurt very deeply. But transition will hurt you further. What you need is women like you, in a safe space, where you can talk about your feelings. A trusted friend who understands. I promise there are people like you out there.
You live in a deeply misogynistic society. It's literally traumatic to be a woman nowadays. I suggest you read up on radical feminist literature, see how other women process and explain that trauma. I guarantee you will relate and find answers to your problems.